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Ch 18. Final thoughts
Evil of unjustified maintenance, parasitism, men's rights
In India, the divorce rate in marriages is probably only 1%, so unlike other countries like US with 50% divorce rates in first marriages, we are not a divorce country.
However, the problem being faced today by many men in marriages is that they will tend to get reduced to a second-class status in their own homes, if they simply oblige with the new regime of so called women empowerment, under which more and more laws to favour women are being passed. DV Act is a prime example of such a law. If a man is aware of how the DV Act can be (mis)used by women, he may just keep quiet and compromise with whatever oppression he is facing at home at the hands of his wife.
What many Indian husbands are going through is something which has happened in US about hundred years back in history. An excellent article on AVFM tells how even in 1920s and 1930s in US, many people, both men and women, vociferously wrote against the persecution befalling upon men due to the 'alimony racket' being run by many wives.
In 1925 Doris Blake, widely read syndicated newspaper columnist, devoted a column to Judge Strong's views, summing up her own view by calling alimony grafters a "parasitic class." In 1928 bestselling novelist Faith Baldwin, had this to say:
"The rising tide of divorce has brought us a new industry, the ultimate refinement of gold-digging, the perfection of blackmail within the law - marriage for alimony. Women who do not want husbands or children have found a joker in our marriage laws by which they can establish themselves comfortably for life; free, respectable, rich, safe - without personal cost or sacrifice.
There are thousands and thousands of women who are being supported by men to whom they are no longer wives. There is no doubt that this business of alimony is getting to be a serious menace, it may be alright when a man has plenty of money. To pay a former wife a few thousand dollars in alimony may mean nothing to him. But, on the other hand, just consider how many men are forced to pay alimony who cannot afford it. You will find in the majority of cases that there is no good reason why they should pay it, either. The women are well able to take care of themselves. If they did not lack pride and self-respect, they would not accept money from men who no longer mean anything to them."
Journalist Ruth Brown Reed in 1931 spoke of an "industry":
The alimony racket has become the great woman's industry. A sobbing pretty woman before the court - and what chance has the husband? In many cases the amount of alimony is so large in proportion to the man's earnings that it completely nullifies any chance of happiness or of another marriage. And why - one cannot help but ask - should a divorced man be denied the right to a normal family life?
One could read this today and nod their heads in total agreement, as to what is happening in Indian courts today, and all this is being done with the noble ideas of protecting women and women empowerment.
Maintenance regime in India as it is right now has become nothing but a way to grant a comfortable and parasitic status to unscrupulous women. Indeed, it is being reported many a time that a husband caught an affair of his wife, and his wife promptly filed cases on him under DV Act, IPC 498A etc, to keep him busy running in courts and also claim maintenance from him, where none was her rightful due since it was she who was at fault.
Which is why men's rights activists have to focus even more on changing the maintenance laws and this parasitism promoting maintenance regime. It will go a long way in creating a better framework of laws for the next generation. Otherwise there is a real danger that we may contribute towards creating a corrupt society in future, where there is no real incentive to excel, instead people spend effort on trying to find legal loopholes and live as a parasite on others' efforts.
Comments and Feedback welcome!
The book has many more words now than I had initially thought would be enough to cover this topic. At the same time, I feel there is scope for including more relevant judgments on maintenance as and when they become available. Since this book is published in an eBook form so it will not be too difficult to update it and release the updates to readers. I will continue to update the book as and when there are substantial number of changes. In the meantime, I suggest the readers to join the FREE email list at Men Rights India, where I will send an alert whenever there is an update to the book. Also, every new article posted at the MRI site is sent as an email to all list subscribers.
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Readers are welcome to give their feedback about the book at Men Rights India Contact Form, whether something was up to expectations or not. Especially if you think there is an important judgment not covered yet in this book, or if you have found any error, feel free to email me using above form and I will try to include it in the next update.
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Other books and guidance
Free eBooks
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You can download and read my free eBook (PDF) Surviving the Legal Jungle. This book gives basic knowledge of law and judicial procedures from perspective of layman and general public. The same book (paid) in Kindle format is also available at Surviving the Legal Jungle(Kindle edition)
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Child custody, guardianship, interim custody/visitation for fathers: This book on child custody and guardianship is a collaborative effort by several fathers who have been involved in their own custody and visitation related issues in family courts. It covers landmark judgments on child custody/vistiation as well as practical advice and guidelines based on real life experiences. Mostly it is seen that child custody or visitation is the last or almost forgotten issue in minds of people, who tend to focus on IPC 498A or DV/CrPC 125 cases only. Not trying for child custody or visitation is actually counter-productive, despite the advice to the contrary given by most lawyers. This book is an attempt to shed light on that as well as develop a practical approach towards shared custody at least. The book can be read online or downoaded in PDF or eBook formats too.
Paid eBooks
Guide for men on divorce, cruelty, desertion, annulment(Kindle edition only)
Above book is written from perspective of informing Indian men about cruelty, desertion, adultery, mental disorder, and false allegations as a ground for divorce, and annulment of marriage. It covers more than 70 judgments on above topics. Discussion on divorce as a topic has ethical and as well as moral implications. This book was written mainly because it was seen that husbands were rushing headlong into filing divorce without any preparation or proper evidence, solely based on their (flawed) reasoning that if wife doesn't want to live with them then they are eligible for divorce. This book is a self-study guide and will be useful to those whose wife has filed divorce on them, or who want to file divorce on wife and want to know what grounds and what type of evidences are needed for a strong case.
Free guidance
On topics related to maintenance covered in this book as well on misuse of laws like IPC 498A, 406, DP Act etc; I am available (as a volunteer only, so please have reasonable expectations) in Men Rights India Facebook group (visible to members only). Members can discuss their cases, and anything else they want to share. Divorce guidance is NOT part of this free social work, and such requests to join this group will not be approved.
Do care to read the instructions at above page, and fill up the form carefully, and usually the membership is approved within few days if your details seem fine to admin. Finally, the group has certain guidelines, and though it is rare, some members do get removed for violation of guidelines; so please spend some time on reading the guidelines on above page, and also in the pinned post after you join the group. Guidelines do get enforced.
Paid guidance
For those who want to discuss about how to get divorce from cruel or not so cruel wife, how to do financial/property settlement, mutual consent divorce, or want only private consultation on CrPC 125, DV Act, IPC 498A/406, DP Act etc, without joining our community/groups (see Free guidance above); I provide paid guidance via Man to Man Solutions, where you can find more details. The reasons why free guidance on divorce is not available (anywhere for that matter) are explained in this and this post.