In case you face threats or actual legal cases like DV, CrPC 125, 498A, 406 from your wife who also has a boyfriend, the situation can be turned to an advantage, of course only if one is able to get over the shock of the whole fraud which has been perpetrated, and assess things from thereon. The context of this post refers to those marriages where the wife starts to show erratic behaviour etc right in beginning of married life (read Advice to men post for details). Many such women come from feminist/matriarchal families, and if not outright feminist family, then having been raised in an environment of independence and pampering probably. End result is same: their attitude towards men and relationship is nothing normal.
What kind of evidence and clues she might have left?
- Such a woman might have left clues and evidences like phone call records, chat messages, SMS etc which if captured can be used as evidence against her.
- If you are able to get photo or video of her roaming around with someone else who is evidently not a male relative or co-worker, then that can also become very good evidence too and in fact much better evidence than just message or phone call records.
- Some women actually tell after marriage that they had a boyfriend, or keep on talking to some man over the phone claiming him to be some cousin or some such thing. It is a deliberate tactic being used to make the husband feel humiliated and frustrated, so that at later point of time he will initiate divorce on wife and she will lay claim to be the abla-naari. Expect allegation of impotence as high probability in such cases, the reason being she is doing a mind game that she is talking to someone else because of your lack of virility. Of course, this may seem laughable kind of argument to a reasonable person, but you have to see the destructively-programmed-robots kind of mind these fembots have to believe the various shades of humanity which exists on the planet!
These evidences can be used to show that wife has left the husband’s house not because of her allegations like “I was not given food”, “they left the LPG gas on to kill me”, and the like, but because she already had a boyfriend from before marriage.
Since the prime criteria in success of wife getting any interim or final maintenance relies on her allegation that she has not left husband’s house deliberately but been forced out or compelled, production of above evidence can create fundamental doubts about her whole story.
Allegations without evidence, way to go women!
The simple reason is that usually the wife’s allegations are without any evidence whatsoever. E.g., take following few allegations:
- I was starved and not given food.
- I was locked in the bathroom.
- They tortured me to bring dowry.
- Husband is impotent.
- We have given 5 lakhs in cash after marriage.
The lack of evidence of each of above allegations point by point is:
- No health or medical report to prove starvation etc.
- No report to anyone else at the time of alleged lock up in bathroom.
- No real evidence in form of letter, email, SMS, voice or video recording to prove demand of dowry.
- Mere allegation of husband’s impotence which can be easily disproved using medical tests however the idea is to scare and get husband to ‘compromise’ (the C-word) on a mutual divorce.
- No record of withdrawal of cash from any bank account.
Hurdles in using evidence of wife having boyfriend
What might be the biggest hurdles in using the evidence of wife having boyfriend?
- The hope in man’s heart that wife may come back. Again the context is for early part of marriage so one may be giving benefit of doubt but with no results being seen at all. Usually after all the niceness of man, the wife still leaves him, doesn’t come back, and makes him wait so that he files divorce in frustration, or some such scenario works out.
- Nice guy tendency to be generous to a fault and forgive, hoping for reciprocity and good future relationship. Again it happens because many men expect it is just something which may work out as time goes by, and it is not that serious a relationship.
- Husband may think it will cast doubt on his manhood (“biwi ko sambhal nahin paya”), that wife has chosen to continue her relationship with boyfriend even after marriage.
- He may get into an emotional trip about “who is that boyfriend” rather than thinking logically as to why did his wife marry him if she loved someone already.
- Lack of objective reasoning to come to conclusion that this evidence can be useful to show wife’s true desire and intentions and seriously weaken her allegations.
- Misguided thinking that women are emotional and easily led, and so it’s just that she will come around to be led by husband rather than ex-boyfriend. Fact: she has already chosen to be led by boyfriend even after marriage, so the evidence is quite contrary even if the theory may be valid.
- Even if he decides to use the evidence, his lawyer discourages him with usual things like: this is not useful for maintenance case, OR we will use it in main case, not in interim. OR the atrocious statement: they will say that voice recordings are not genuine. Two words for him: nira radia, but then most lawyers are also acting like programmed robots just telling you what will get them fastest to a C-word based settlement, rather than applying their minds, and saying what’s in your best interest.