When married men are facing a persistent martial issue, at some point they decide that it is time to take advice from a lawyer.
Note: If you donât already have a legal case but are fearing one soon, read this post to find out your probability of getting a false case filed on you.
Many people are under the impression that an advocate is a professional just like a doctor, and they trust that they will get the same good advice as they get from a doctor.
Nothing could be more endangering to your future than believing in this doctor-lawyer stuff. But people have actually told me this even after NOT getting good service from their advocate.
There are many more men who are searching for good, honest, professional lawyer to handle their cases since they are dissatisfied with their existing lawyer.
There are also many who have changed few lawyers already over the years in the hope that the new lawyer will give them better results but that doesnât seem to be happening.
I wonât blame only the lawyers for the situation.
All of us have experience of dealing with doctors. I have also dealt with other professionals like chartered accountants, and I actually believe in the often repeated adage that there are bad, incompetent, corrupt people in all professions â be it software engineers, doctors, lawyers, chartered accountants, professors, whatever else. There is no guarantee of getting good service if we donât do basic homework or are not vigilant about our rights as clients.
The type of profession will not change the basic nature of humans some of who will try to take advantage whatever profession they happen to be in. Itâs not that by becoming a professor one will become a paragon of virtue and example for others. Many can testify to this having experienced professors who put no more effort than repeating same notes from their own prescribed text book year after year, and administering tests and grades seems to be their main âvalue addâ.
Do Indian lawyers act as upholders of justice, or more as a cosy closed club?
On this point, the Indian advocates really leave the corrupt/black sheep of other professions far, far behind! While we can face issues from individuals in other professions, it is unique culture of Indian advocates that they indulge from time to time in collective disruption, strike, violence be it in cities of Bangalore, Ghaziabad, Meerut or Chennai. Usually every 6 months or so there is one such news. Just a quick google search returned sample of news items below all of them being from last few years:
http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/bangalore-lawyers-attack-reporters-with-stones-iron-chairs-181830
http://www.rediff.com/news/2009/mar/06lawyers-provoked-madras-hc-violence-sc-committee.htm
http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/violence-mars-lawyers-agitation-in-meerut-414614
At the same time, citizens are supposed to uphold judiciary (and lawyers) in high esteem because some manuals and codes have been written giving sermons on duties of advocates, expected ethics, high standards of behaviour and what not.
So dear friends, do you still believe that people who even though are bound by professional codes of conduct, ethics, rules of their bar association and such things but behave in above manner can be treated at par with doctors? You be the judge!
How to find a âgoodâ lawyer
So letâs get back to the practical issue of finding an individual lawyer, knowing fully well that as a group they are not exactly setting standards for others to follow.
A lawyer representing a husband (thatâs you) in a matrimony related case in India will be only as good as the following:
1. How good a homework you have done in reading up basic laws of CrPC 125, DV Act, 498a arrest/acquittal rates, and doing homework to understand the System as given in main advice to men post. Many people fail at this very basic test because they expect their advocate or some menâs rights activists to do these things and just provide them with ready to digest formulas or pills which can take away the persistent headache and deliver peace! It is no wonder that the kind of formulas suggested by lawyers like send legal notice to wife, file Section 9/RCR, file divorce get them into bigger soup like DV, 498a, divorce cases filed by wife which they are totally unprepared to handle. Instead of a quick solution, they get long term cases to handle.
2. Do you have realistic expectations and not living in a fantasy land. I quote just 2 of the real life examples where the lawyer has promised a fantasy and the client has bought it all.
Father of husband facing 498a soon: âThe advocate said that he can get my son divorce within 1 yearâ.
Husband having 498a case already: âMy advocate said that if we go to high court, I can fix your situation within 3 monthsâ.
Believing any of the above statements is in similar category of âinvestingâ money with someone who promises to double it within 6 months. Falling for âdivorce within one yearâ lies in the same category. Even in 21st century when people have access to latest information on their finger tips, people fall for things like email prize scams, Nigerian scams and what not. Thereâs a saying: âthereâs a sucker born every minuteâ. Do you want to be that sucker?
3. Do you know how good/bad your lawyer is doing for you? Basically this is about creating a feedback loop. To know this is only possible by interacting with other men facing same issues, which will let you know what to expect and if your lawyer is doing something other than usual. But that is such a no-no for many people who are hell bent on proving innocence (I call it The Innocence Project) because they believe that proving innocence is the desirable goal, when the law says that one is innocent until proven guilty. Mostly they are cracking up in the very initial stages of their cases itself because they will fall for trap called solution within 1 year or 6 months and when that doesnât happen.
Having done all of the above, finding a lawyer is as simple as talking to a few of them and going with one who seems to understand your strategy/plan and is willing to execute it that way. Also make sure that he/she is ok with the communication and other administrative aspects as given below in Managing and Communication sections.
Managing your advocate
If one has done all of the above ground work, managing a lawyer is not difficult, and even changing a lawyer wonât be a problem. But changing of lawyers should be done only after having a defined trail of communication, and proof that your advocate is not doing the things as other peopleâs advocates are (read point 3 again above). If you are changing advocate every year, then probably itâs your own expectations that are unrealistic. Following are sample of unrealistic expectations:
1. Lawyer can speed up my case. Forget it. Just wake up and read the newspaper. Cases are running for decades altogether in India including Salman Khanâs black buck and hit and run/homicide case, just in case you read âfilmyâ news. Are those cases less important than your cases? Only fast track cases can finish within 2-3 years.
2. Thinking of lawyer as a solution provider: Think of advocate more as a helper and at best a partner. Using the word professional is not very useful since many people donât find them professional at all. Definitely donât think of advocate as a counsellor, even though the mediator types in courts are lawyers themselves but how many of them act as if they are counselling. They are all there to satisfy the wives, and indirectly steer the husband towards the C-word.
You be the car driver, and let him/her be the navigator. People do the opposite letting lawyer doing the driving and then they wonder why he doesnât do what they tell him to do! If the lawyer didnât advise you on who to marry and how to run your married life, why the hell he should be advising you on what to do if your married life has run into problems? Whether you should file RCR, divorce (both not recommended in most cases), or just wait and watch; should be your choice, not based on advocateâs advice.
Many people wonât be able to digest the above. Let me give another example. If I am an insurance salesman, then it is in my interest if you buy insurance from me, then would you expect me to give you advice against buying insurance? When even doctors are found prescribing unnecessary tests which serve no value to patient, why do you expect an advocate to prescribe just the right things and nothing more than the right things?
Other points on communication and managing things
To have a defined trail of communication, itâs best that those with internet/email access keep some kind of documentary communication through emails even though for routine communication phone/SMS are being used. It leaves a good trail which can be useful to prove later if you supplied the information and instructions at appropriate times, but still the advocate didnât take action on them.
To add moreâŚ
Myths propagated by advocates
To be writtenâŚ
Very useful information. I am paying maintenance every month.Really i am paying 75% of my income to my wife. I struggled all along in all the courts. No use. She is laughing at me in magistrate court. Still I couldn’t finish my arrears. But they simply said now “finish your arrears soon! I have to go for enhancement”. I am shocked. She simply abondened my son He is with me only. How can I stop their enhancement process in beginning. Please help me!
Just sharing emotions “I am shocked” won’t help unless you are ready to share facts, and correct mistakes done in the past. Paying 75% of income is unheard of, esp when son is with in your care. Read my book on maintenance, join our groups, and start fighting cases on merits.
How do one go about finding judgements that are relevant to his case? There is already a good concise compilation in the Kindle books. But, I would like to find bit more. Any good website with good searching/reading tool that one can check now and then.
I figure that lawyers do have pretty good idea about how to navigate legal labyrinth, but they do very little real work even after linking their lumpsum payment to some concrete incentive, like very low maintenance.
Thanks & Regards,
IF you are not satisfied with google and indiankanoon, then paid legal search engines are the only other option.
I need guidance in fighting 498a case against me and my son
I also need guidance to pay nil maintenance
My lawyer has filed anticipatory bail for me and my family members under unregistered crime in 498a case against my wife’s complaint. He said court will charge a cash deposit of Rs.20000/- for each person if surieties are not provided. Is it reasonable amount? How many surieties will need for 7 persons in the complaint. Pls reply urgently?
it’s reasonable. I am not sure about sureties… Make sure to get court receipts for any deposits made, else the deposit might as well have gone to lawyer’s account.
Suggest to join the groups instead of leaving same comment in 7 posts…
Sir, Thanks for the above reply. Initially, my lawyer asked for Rs.10000,2 photos of each of my family member and address proof documents along with signatures on the AB application under unregistered crime category. When I went to meet him afterwards to know the status of AB application, he said to bring again 2 photos of each of my family member,address proof documents, 2 surieties and Rs.25000 to apply AB. When asked about earlier photos and documents, he said that bail application is rejected and now this time he didn’t asked for our signatures also on the application. He also said that he got order for AB which will be valid only for 10 days during which we need to process for AB or else it will not be done. Pls suggest whether my lawyer details of rejected bail application and validity of AB order is true. Now, I am thinking of applying for AB after FIR is filed. Is it possible to arrest us directly after FIR is filed without asking us to surrender? please reply sir.
You can join the groups to ask, can’t have a threaded discussion in these comments.
Sir, I have applied AB under unregistered crime for me and my parents and got it on 23rd of last month. Court has given next date to appear as 6th of this month. can I ask my lawyer to request my next appearing date after 3 months.My job is very demanding and would require lot of travelling. I want to know what would happen if I miss one appearing at the court. Pls reply.I am in real need of guidance
>>.I am in real need of guidance
If criminal case (after FIR) is ongoing judges routinely issue NBW for accused non-appearance. Now if it is not yet FIR, then it’s more like you are trying to postpone a date which you yourselves wanted after first hearing of your AB application, so I can’t say about legal implications.
If you want to gather second and third opinions (after lawyer’s of course), then suggest to join some men rights group online/offline and ask people. Because guidance can’t be given in one liners, it has to be absorbed over time.
And high pressure job is no business of judge since you yourselves asked for AB relief, so why skip date now?
How to join the groups.
Right Sidebar big green button
My had filed 498a against me and after that it was settled in the court agreeing to the condition , that both will try to come to an understanding and continue marital life . I was suppose to sign every month according to the bail condition of 498a . suddenly to my surprise they file 307 false case on me and I could not go to the station to mark my sign due to threat of arrest they used this for cancellation of bail for 498a . they are tormenting me and my family with all sort of false case and also they are using money and muscle power .
>>suddenly to my surprise they file 307 false case on me
maybe you are surprised because you had once ignored very commonly given advice of MRAs not to take back 498A wife.
>>I was suppose to sign every month according to the bail condition of 498a
what kind of man lives with wife on condition of signing a bail register every month? You didn’t show any self-respect then, and probably those words don’t mean anything either.
Instead of getting defensive act offensively. File 406 I.P.C.,Section 4 of Dowry prohibition act and cases of cheating, fraud, criminal conspiracy etc.against wife and in laws to rope them in. Never file 9 RCR.
Very good site to abolish confusion about matrimonial cases, choosing a lawyer , boosting confidence to fight false alleged cases by wife. I am fighting the same cases but by positively and confidently after going through this site and following the fighting tips/manners as narrated in this site by honorable counselor,
A very useful site. Must read by every victimized men.
very informative and very true