Dowry, Stridhan, Cruelty under 498a, marriage expenses, and more

I haven’t taken any dowry

Before people say “I haven’t taken any dowry”, shouldn’t it be clear to know about the keyword dowry.

Basically, dowry harassment is the phrase used when women and her in-laws want to do one or more of following:

Keep husband under thumb, make him leave his parents (after marriage, of course before marriage nothing of that sort will be said), make him ghar jamai etc. So this can be teach the husband to be a pet, or teach the husband a lesson so he compromises the 498a and takes wife back promising to be loyal slave for rest of married life.
The marriage was a pre-planned bomb in form of daughter-in-law which was timed to go off in husband’s house after marriage. After the bomb goes off successfully, not there will be loud noise but property and cash will fall from the sky in the form of gifts for the ‘mutual’ divorce that will get settled as a ‘compromise’.
Wife already had a boyfriend before marriage. It is known to her family too or there is a couldn’t-care-less-how-her-marriage- goes attitude which is quite common in feminist/matriarch-led families. So the first husband will provide the cash and after that woman can go to her independent ways. After all, it’s so much easier to explore life with cash in the bank!

That’s about their plan and intentions. But how about you/the husband who is charged with dowry harassment in form of 498A and Dowry Prohibition Act?

Dowry is defined in Dowry Prohibition (DP) Act as below:

2. Definition of `dowry’.-In this act, `dowry’ means any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly-

(a) by one party to a marriage to the other party to the marriage; or

(b) by the parents of either party to a marriage or by any other person, to either party to the marriage or to any other person;

at or before or any time after the marriage in connection with the marriage of said parties but does not include dower or mahr in the case of persons to whom the Muslim Personal Law (Shariat) applies.

So according to above definition there cannot be an Indian marriage without dowry being exchanged on BOTH sides. However our lawmakers are quite smart and so they added following clause to DP Act:

(2)Nothing in sub-section (1) shall apply to or, in relation to,-

presents which are given at the time of a marriage to the bride (without nay demand having been made in that behalf):

Provided that such presents are entered in list maintained in accordance with rule made under this Act;

presents which are given at the time of marriage to the bridegroom (without any demand having been made in that behalf):

Provided that such presents are entered in a list maintained in accordance with rules made under this Act;

Provided further that where such presents are made by or on behalf of the bride or any person related to the bride, such presents are of a customary nature and the value thereof is not excessive having regard to the financial status of the person by whom, or on whose behalf, such presents are given.

So with the above smart addition, you can give gifts and presents of not great value above your /other party’s status. Voila! Let’s throw a marriage party!

Above wedding-industry-saving clause also mentions about the article list to be maintained in accordance with rules made under DP Act. Those rules are below:

2. Rules in accordance with which lists of presents are to be maintained.-(1) The list of presents which are given at the time of the marriage to the bride shall be maintained by the bride.

(2) The list of present which are given at the time of the marriage to the bridegroom shall be maintained by the bridegroom.

Every list of presents referred to in sub-rule (1) or sub-rule (2),-

(a) shall be prepared at the time of the marriage or as soon as possible after the marriage:

(b) shall be in writing;

(i) a brief description of each present;

(ii) the approximate value of the present;

(iii)the name of the person who has given the present; and

(iv)where the person giving the present is related to the bride or bridegroom, a description of such relationship;

(d) shall be signed by both the bride and the bridegroom.

So if anyone has experience of a typical Indian wedding, we know that every Indian wedding (1 Crore of them every year) is a crime openly done in front of society. So 1 Cr crimes being done every year, and even our pending case laden courts won’t be willing to take up that extra load of criminal cases.

So if I didn’t take any dowry, what exactly did I take?

Your honour, that was just gifts for the bride and family.

That brings us to definition of stridhan.

What is stridhan

For the grammatically inclined: stri – woman, dhan – wealth. So stridhan should mean woman’s wealth.

Stridhan constitutes:

Any property or gift given to a woman before, at the time of marriage or later is her property
May be gifted by anyone, even in-laws, friends
She alone has the right to gift, will or dispose of her property as she desires
No one else has a right on it
Anyone who has a woman’s streedhan in her/his custody should return it to the actual owner within a stipulated time period
If the trustee disposes of her property without her willing so the offender will be punished with imprisonment and fine
If the woman dies without willing her property it goes to her sons/daughters and husband

A list should be made of the gifts given during or just after marriage. There has to be two lists: one for the man/another for the woman. The man’s list has to contain the gifts given to him by either party. The woman’s list has to contain the gifts given to her by either party. Spouses and witnesses should sign it. Both parties should retain a copy of the list.

So if dowry giving or taking is a crime, and giving gifts to bride is not, then stridhan must be the password for getting acquittal under DP Act or 498A criminal cases. Or maybe there are more than one gates with their own passwords, but let’s not finish the treasure hunt so soon! We still have to define cruelty…

It’s a cruel, cruel world…

http://menrightsindia.net/bare-acts/ipc-498a-bare-act

498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty

Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.

Explanation- For the purpose of this section, “cruelty” means-

(a) any willful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or

(b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.

So now we have read the short and bitter act of IPC 498a, and it seems that this is the favourite weapon used to allege a dowry harassment crime, though the whole act doesn’t have the word dowry in it! Of course, why would lawmakers be so stupid to pass a Dowry Prohibition Act in 1961 and pass another dowry xyz act in 1983! So above act was meant to save the lives of women facing harassment of nature that it will drive them to suicide. Or even any conduct which will cause physically grave injury to her. Or grave injury or danger to mental or physical health. Or unlawful demand for property or valuable security …

The words property or valuable security are also used in DP Act:

2. Definition of `dowry’.-In this act, `dowry’ means any property or valuable security given or agreed to be given either directly or indirectly-

So that makes the connection from 498A to dowry harassment case.

How to disprove wife’s allegations of mental cruelty on her under 498A. Don’t disprove anything. Let them come to court to give evidence, and then shred that ‘evidence’ in cross examination etc. General principle of law is onus is on prosecution to prove the guilt of accused, and no matter how much we shout this from rooftops, people will keep asking how to prove my innocence?

Quiz on stridhan, dowry, cruelty

Your bride to be put a gold ring on your finger during engagement ceremony. Dowry, gift, stridhan?
Father in law after marriage did electronic transfer of Rs 40,000 to your bank account. Gift, stridhan, dowry?
Your wife won a prize of pressure cooker in a Diwali festival scheme. Gift, dowry, stridhan?
Your wife says in allegation that you are not taking separate house from parents. Cruelty under 498A or not?
Wife says you are impotent. Cruelty under IPC 498A or not?
Father in law after marriage gave by cheque Rs 100,000 which was deposited to your father’s bank account. Gift, stridhan, dowry?
Wife says you are having affair with another woman. Cruelty under 498A or not?
Mother in law gave box of dry fruits when you visited them. Dowry, stridhan, gift?
Father in law after marriage gave by cheque Rs 50,000 which was deposited to your wife’s bank account. Gift, stridhan, dowry?
Your mother-in-law gave a gold chain to you during wedding ceremony. Gift, dowry, stridhan?

If you took more than 2 seconds for question 8, you need a thorough brain surgery Smile

What’s the deal about marriage expenses

to be written…