Hmmm…
I find the question quite perplexing, when a man is facing a false 498a or DV (Domestic Violence) case or an unjustifiable demand for maintenance from wife: “what should be my stand in court?”
How about: “I’m innocent! Let the law take its course.”
Apparently for 80-95% of Indian husbands, that’s too much complication. They want to have a ‘stand’ which will achieve the following for them:
- If they are fearing IPC 498a, then anticipatory bail should be easy to get. (Note: after Jul 2014 SC judgment, it appears arrests have drastically come down so this concern should reduce)
- If they already have maintenance case filed on them, then they should be able to pay zero or very low maintenance.
- If wife is simply threatening at home, then they should be able to safeguard themselves and parents (parents are old and sick).
- If they still have some happy memories of married life, they want the option that a door should be left open for wife to come back. After all, she is nice, it’s only her parents which are instigating her!
These are the actual kind of ‘stands’ taken by the husbands most of the time:
- They have a 498a or DV petition with serious allegations filed against them, yet they go ahead and tell in family court and in front of mediators that they want wife back! Cho Chweet. Bye bye to maintenance/3 years in jail, welcome back to wife! Actual Result: Interim maintenance awarded to wife, she doesn’t come to court to give her DV case evidence, 498a goes on for 7-10 years.
- They play smart and keep shifting their ‘stand’ just like their wife. Like if wife has filed 498a or DV case, made contradictory statements, and now she is also asking to come back, they also try to play the same ‘shifty’ tactics hoping it will get them some advantage in courts. Actual Result: Interim maintenance awarded to wife, she doesn’t come to court to give her DV case evidence, 498a goes on for 7-10 years.
- Especially in Delhi. Our husband pays 5-10 lakh to secure anticipatory bail in 406 case. He hopes to prove wife’s charges of him keeping her jewellery/valuables as false. Actual Result: Interim maintenance awarded to wife, she doesn’t come to court to give her DV case evidence, 498a/406 goes on for 7-10 years.
Can anyone see a common thread in all the above ‘stands’? The following picture says it all:
When the end result is the same by taking all these so called ‘stands’, why do so many of us adopt these? Here are some propositions based on observations, possibilities, and hypotheses.
- We think the lawyer who is giving advice to us is like a doctor. Read the post on how to manage lawyers.
- We are escapists and cowardly people basically, who want to do a ‘compromise’ rather than face a difficult situation. After all, a few people from England were able to control most of India for close to 2 centuries without much of a fight! Why? It’s the C-word: compromise.
- We don’t know what is right from wrong. Anything which gets the job done quickly must be right! Pay the traffic cop Rs 50 without challan instead of Rs 300 with challan for breaking a traffic rule. That becomes the attitude in everything. After a while the traffic cops learn the same tricks and stop us even if we haven’t broken any laws. Everyone deserves a break!
Taking a stand is very simple, but for 90% of folks it’s almost impossible to explain. Probably because all of us have grown in a mai-baap culture where pleasing the masters is important, rather than getting to truth, meritocracy etc.
How about: “I’m innocent! Let the law take its course.”
1. “Let them prove the DV allegations if they want maintenance under DV.“
2. “Let them prove they have left the home with a just cause if they claim maintenance under CrPC 125.”
3. “Let them prove cruelty which will drive a woman to suicide to prove 498a allegations.“
4. “Let them prove serious cruelty by husband if they have filed a divorce case.”
Too complicated!