Hmmm…
I find the question quite perplexing, when a man is facing a false 498a or DV (Domestic Violence) case or an unjustifiable demand for maintenance from wife: “what should be my stand in court?”
How about: “I’m innocent! Let the law take its course.”
Apparently for 80-95% of Indian husbands, that’s too much complication. They want to have a ‘stand’ which will achieve the following for them:
- If they are fearing IPC 498a, then anticipatory bail should be easy to get. (Note: after Jul 2014 SC judgment, it appears arrests have drastically come down so this concern should reduce)
- If they already have maintenance case filed on them, then they should be able to pay zero or very low maintenance.
- If wife is simply threatening at home, then they should be able to safeguard themselves and parents (parents are old and sick).
- If they still have some happy memories of married life, they want the option that a door should be left open for wife to come back. After all, she is nice, it’s only her parents which are instigating her!
These are the actual kind of ‘stands’ taken by the husbands most of the time:
- They have a 498a or DV petition with serious allegations filed against them, yet they go ahead and tell in family court and in front of mediators that they want wife back! Cho Chweet. Bye bye to maintenance/3 years in jail, welcome back to wife! Actual Result: Interim maintenance awarded to wife, she doesn’t come to court to give her DV case evidence, 498a goes on for 7-10 years.
- They play smart and keep shifting their ‘stand’ just like their wife. Like if wife has filed 498a or DV case, made contradictory statements, and now she is also asking to come back, they also try to play the same ‘shifty’ tactics hoping it will get them some advantage in courts. Actual Result: Interim maintenance awarded to wife, she doesn’t come to court to give her DV case evidence, 498a goes on for 7-10 years.
- Especially in Delhi. Our husband pays 5-10 lakh to secure anticipatory bail in 406 case. He hopes to prove wife’s charges of him keeping her jewellery/valuables as false. Actual Result: Interim maintenance awarded to wife, she doesn’t come to court to give her DV case evidence, 498a/406 goes on for 7-10 years.
Can anyone see a common thread in all the above ‘stands’? The following picture says it all:
When the end result is the same by taking all these so called ‘stands’, why do so many of us adopt these? Here are some propositions based on observations, possibilities, and hypotheses.
- We think the lawyer who is giving advice to us is like a doctor. Read the post on how to manage lawyers.
- We are escapists and cowardly people basically, who want to do a ‘compromise’ rather than face a difficult situation. After all, a few people from England were able to control most of India for close to 2 centuries without much of a fight! Why? It’s the C-word: compromise.
- We don’t know what is right from wrong. Anything which gets the job done quickly must be right! Pay the traffic cop Rs 50 without challan instead of Rs 300 with challan for breaking a traffic rule. That becomes the attitude in everything. After a while the traffic cops learn the same tricks and stop us even if we haven’t broken any laws. Everyone deserves a break!
Taking a stand is very simple, but for 90% of folks it’s almost impossible to explain. Probably because all of us have grown in a mai-baap culture where pleasing the masters is important, rather than getting to truth, meritocracy etc.
How about: “I’m innocent! Let the law take its course.”
1. “Let them prove the DV allegations if they want maintenance under DV.“
2. “Let them prove they have left the home with a just cause if they claim maintenance under CrPC 125.”
3. “Let them prove cruelty which will drive a woman to suicide to prove 498a allegations.“
4. “Let them prove serious cruelty by husband if they have filed a divorce case.”
Too complicated!
Read my book on how to save on maintenance under CrPC 125 and DV Act. (Kindle eBook version) (Print Paperback version)
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Kamlesh J Bhatt says
April 21, 2018 at 4:39 pmDear Sir,
I Mr Kamlesh J Bhatt reside at Thane, Maharashtra and i am 31 years old. I would like to let you know that my eldest sister Bhavna Jagdish Bhatt Dob: 14.02.1977 and my aunty Smita Ishwarlal Bhatt Dob: 28.05.1959 have been Harassing, Tortureing, giving badwords and Brutal beating me right from birth and also have been beatimg my mother Bharti Jagdish Bhatt age 64 years.
Its a brutal beating using belts, Sticks, Chappals. They Being a woman and my aunty is bit influential the police authorities refrain from taking action against them, instead they always suddenly for no reason go to police station and gives police complaint, after which some police authorities who are corrupt start harassing me and my mother.
Also, Now my aunty (fai) Smita Ishwarlal Bhatt/Smita Mohanlal Bhatt and my eldest sister Bhavna Jagdish Bhatt has started staying seperately with my aunty along with my father Jagdish Ishwarlal Bhatt and she took signature of my father and filed case to get money from me under Maintenance of parents and senior citizens, although my father gets post office deposit interest of rupees 3300 per month and i pay for house maintainance electricity bill gas bill property tax water tax society function donations house repair oc certificate, etc.
My father is illiterate and so they have fooled my father and took signatures on documents.
We dont understand what should we do???
Regards,
Kamlesh J Bhatt
videv says
June 23, 2018 at 7:07 pm>> filed case to get money from me under Maintenance of parents and senior citizens, although my father gets post office deposit interest of rupees 3300 per month
Going for illiterate defence may not work out in case they allege that he has been explained the content of documents. But you can challenge it anyway on that ground. You have to produce these proofs to court to reduce maintenance, which I am guessing will be going mostly to the planners in background.
yash says
March 17, 2018 at 7:17 pmhi
i marred in 2013 she left home by December 2013 , file false case 498a 2014 i won the case in 2016.
we dint have any relation as well no child , she is working and manage her business.
my question is = Can i do second marriage without divorce her .
as per the legal what step i have to follow for marriage.
videv says
March 18, 2018 at 9:50 pmSecond marriage illegal (crime as per IPC 494 Bigamy), and legally speaking void too without getting divorce first.
K Mishra says
September 3, 2017 at 10:52 amInterim application of wife got rejected on the grounds of unclean hands and working. Child gets 10K pm. Both living in my house i.e. HRA, maintenance, elex. paid by me. I am also paying child’s school fee right from the date of her petition/ beginning of school. Can I ask for setting-off/adjusting the maintenance amount against paid school fee and accommodation. Can I request the court to allow me paying both in future instead of depositing in wife’s account?
videv says
September 4, 2017 at 5:39 pmYou can always ask for modification of orders, if there is change in circumstances. I doubt off-setting will work that easily, but asking to pay directly to school etc is reasonable, though again our courts act suspicious if husband makes a request.
mukesh says
October 11, 2015 at 8:22 pmDear Sir,
Is it accepted by court in any case to have a poly graphic test to prove the allegation or innocence. As in my case the allegation are totally fake and if it is acceptable will be a great help to resolve the matter and reduce the suffering to the whole family.
videv says
October 14, 2015 at 10:59 amPolygraph tests are not normally done, because it is against constitution to subject accused to polygraph test etc which is self-incrimination; and anyway are not considered as evidence but only as information to help police etc in investigation. Even then only after court orders.
Jk says
June 4, 2015 at 8:31 pmYou are right, husbands are becoming more and more coward while wives are being empowered. Men want to get rid of the pains via a compromise while wifes want to squeeze their husbands harder and harder. And why not, our own judicial system has given them so many powerful weapons, they use the law to the fullest extent.
These women on the advise of their parents, relatives and friends, take blind steps without any fear, while husbands still want to keep a low profile, want to hide all this due to fear of damage to their reputation.
While the world is busy fighting bigger problems, doing something meaningful, INDIAN MEN ARE BUSY FIGHTING THEIR WIVES AND IN-LAWS.
Truly a land of contradictions – women claim being equal to men, and then use these gender-biased laws to “teach their husbands a lesson”.
Thalapathy Muthukumar says
February 5, 2015 at 4:55 pmHello
I m from Bangalore. Got married on Jun 2008, no kids. And my wife filed 498A and DV act cases against me and my parents on April 2011. And I filed Divorce application (On cruelty) on 2012 June. Till now I was facing all the 3 cases and now she has agreed for some settlement and first mediation counselling is on coming 7th Feb. Now I need some tips from you to get the divorce smoothly and with minimum permamnent Alimoney.
Background – Mine is an arranged marriage, I am basically from Tamilnadu settled in Bangalore but my parents are still in Tamilnadu only. Her family is also a Tamil family settled in bangalore for the past 40 yrs. Got her profile thru matrimonial site and marraige was fixed. From the day one of my marriage, I faced lots of problems from her and family. Below is the list.
1. I should not help my parents and my whole salary should be spent only for her and her dreams.
2. I should stay in her parents house and should not meet my parents itself. But i and her stayed in a separate rented house only from 2008 to 2011.
3. I should immediately buy a house which was not possible due to my financial situations.
4. She was not interested in getting a baby. Got pregnant once but she and her mother aborted it without my knowledge. They need house first and then only baby.
5. She will not spent any money from her salary, only i should spent for all our family expenses. She told that she is saving her entire salary for our future.
6. Last but not least, I came to know that her entire salary is trasfered to her father’s account every month when i accidently saw her bank statement.
That was the day, a big fight happened and I left the house and sent a lawyer notice to her. Immediately she filed 498A and DV cases against me and my parents.
Thank God that i got anticipatory bail with in 4 days and no one got arrested.I lost my job (fired) also due to the police case. At that time itself i decided that i dont want her any more and filed Divorce case. She is expecting more than 10 lacs from me as alimoney which is not at all possible from my end. Moreover the jewels(thaali and one hara total 12 savarans) which we put during the marriage time is with her only. it itself will come more than 3 lacs currently. apart from that i can lend some 2-3 lacs maximum from outside.
Please advice me, some good points and the way of handling the councelling as i need to get rid of this ASAP.
You can call me also at +91 9972409673.
My first councelling is on day after tomorrow (7th), so plz call/reply before that.
thanks
As I
VITHAL MISAL says
December 16, 2018 at 12:01 pmThanks for sharing information.. very helpful for..those men’s struggling 498..Self & our parents have to suffer to Torture and harassment FROM wife and her family..