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What to do if CAW cell/police/advocate is putting pressure to compromise

26 Oct 2014 By 45 Comments

Gentlemen and friends, here we attempt to discuss the dreaded C-word called Compromise.  It is a favourite word used by advocates, CAW cell, and judges too when we face false allegations of domestic violence, dowry harassment aka IPC 498a, IPC 406 aka keeping wife’s gifts/stridhan etc. etc.

Also read the Innocent until proven guilty is the law if you haven’t already since that sets the context for this post.  I have written another post about compromise during 498a cases, you can read that too.

Regarding police/CAW putting pressure to compromise: The sad reality is many people who face these issues ACTUALLY do compromise in terms of ‘settling’ the case by paying money and getting the coveted so called ‘mutual divorce’ and buying peace. As long as that keeps happening, police/CAW/advocates will keep pushing the new cases into the compromise pipeline.

It works out for everyone:

1. Husband gets ‘freedom/peace/chance to remarry’.

2. Husband’s parents get possibility of real ‘bahu’ next time and then grandchildren.  It’s another matter that in a second time failure of marriage, it’s only the husband who calls with despondence in his voice. Everyone knows that the second marriage has turned out to be what can probably be called a ‘failed experiment’ in hindsight.

3. Wife/in-laws get their money.  It’s all about money, honey! , so mission accomplished for them.

4. Police gets the bribe and added satisfaction of having ‘solved’ a case esp against a woman!.

5. Advocates get their fees rather quick, rather than going for multiple hearings over the years.

So this becomes a win-win-win-win-win situation if we extend the MBA speak a bit.  Who can argue against that?


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Now here I am going to disclose a secret to the whole world, a secret so sensitive and powerful that if your opponent camp or their advocates came to know that I was about to disclose it, they would have paid me money not to disclose.

By disclosing this secret, the divorce and DV industry stands to lose several thousand crores of business done every year by filing of fake 498a, DV, divorce, maintenance cases.

The judges have always known this secret, but instead of staying neutral they have used that knowledge to create a fear in mind of public to subtly or not so subtly steer them towards the compromise route.  In a way, they are being part of the divorce/DV/false cases industry.  They will have the ready excuse that it’s the parties who do the compromise, but who is the one who grants anticipatory bail after large cash deposit made by husband in IPC 406 cases, and asks those accused of 498a:  “Do you have a compromise”?  It’s the judges themselves.

The secret is given below.  It’s really very simple.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO COMPROMISE

Let me expand that a bit: You (the accused in a false case), do not need (like need to eat) to do the C-word.

And let’s just say that I was exaggerating when I said someone would pay me money not to disclose this secret.  The real secret is that the business of DV/divorce industry is going quite well and I foresee it will go though there is possibility of reduction in business of 498a bail industry due to recent SC judgment against automatic arrests under 498a.

I know by now some people are feeling a bit queasy in their stomach, about the need part.

“I am only 31 years old.”  OR even “I am 39 years old” as someone said to me (don’t worry, there are many 39 year olds so it’s not about you).  So let’s just say age doesn’t matter really.  You can be 60-70 years old too as we receive a few cases in that age group too.  At young age, people have need to have a family, companion etc; at old age they may already have grown up children, but that doesn’t take away the psychological pain of facing false cases.

One of the basic problems is the slow pace of court cases in Indian judiciary.  So the other needs of life get postponed till cases get over.

But is losing dignity or self-respect a worthy cost of it?

There is a difference between respectability and self-respect.

Respectability can have many external elements to it.  Like a corrupt person who has amassed wealth by taking bribes has built respectability in society.

Self-respect is not external.

Now people who do compromise care a lot about respect in society, so they want to remarry and have a second chance.  Nothing wrong with it.  There is little acceptance for not married people in Indian society and that’s a reality as of now.

But by buying peace doing ‘compromise’ in first marriage, they give a clear signal to the prospective brides/families in second marriage that they are a pushover kind of people.

Let’s make it specific.  If you walk down the street, it may not be written on your face whether you are the pushover kind, but when you do discussions about second marriage, the other party will know for sure if they ask a few questions about why the first marriage failed.

After that, it’s your luck or karma.  There is very high probability that the second marriage candidates will be from the same feminist/matriarchal families who want to hunt for a ‘bakra’, and who can be an easier ‘bakra’ than a man with a failed first marriage, with clear proof that he paid money to ‘get rid of’ the false cases?  “Right on target”, they will exclaim!  They already are planning when and how to file the cases and maybe won’t wait for a week after marriage before activating their mission.

For those facing false cases, while it is easy to put the blame for first marriage fiasco on multiple parties: on in-laws, on biased laws, on lawyers, on horoscopes, on lack of judgment by parents/relatives etc; for second marriage there is usually no one to take the blame but the husband!

You will be all alone.

The only right way for a second marriage is this:  defeat the opponents both legally and psychologically, and come out with head held high.  After that, whatever you do is like a fresh start rather than a compromise after compromise.

Many have done second marriages already, and they didn’t even take 5 years. In fact, it’s surprising that those who care little about the false cases and are patient about them get rid of them within few years, but those who worry a lot and want to get rid of them quickly are unable to do it, or able to do it only after doing the ‘compromise’!  Irony of life?  I don’t think so.

I can’t think of a reason why a never married woman would want to marry a ‘defeated’ and ‘compromised’ husband from first marriage, unless she had less choice herself.

Among the divorced women, the choice would be very little because since 85% of Indian divorce cases are filed by women, it’s more likely than not that your prospective bride is an ex-498a/DV/maintenance filer and a veteran of compromise deeds!  For you it may be like first real marriage, for her it could be another compromise deed in waiting Smile

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Comments

  1. Hi,

    I have been married since 7 years.
    After 2 years of marriage my wife was pressurizing me to to to live separated from my mother parent.
    Being a lone child it was impossible to me.
    After 5 years, she left the home threatening that either we live separately or will file case against you.
    After 2 year of separation, I filed divorce case as she was threatening for false cases.
    Later on receiving divorce notice she fields the case 490A and 406 IPC against me, my mom, father and sister.
    We were called at Mahila Police station.
    Fearing relatives pressure, police and asking for resettle my marriage life. I agreed with condition that she will take back back the case and I have taken back the divorce case and it will take a month for me to get separate home and settle.

    but she didn’t took the case back saying first she will come back to my house then she will take back.
    I resist , so police called again my family and even send the police to my house.

    We have now settled the case , agreeing I will take her back.

    How can I assure that she will not file the case gain in future after living with me.

    Reply

  2. Sir my name is Ali my marriage happened in 2009 and we lived seperately my father is a govt.employee my wife filed a false 498a upon me and my mother and father.she will go to their mothers house and after one year again she comes my home this happened 3 times and she and my father had transferred and came to native place.we started living for 1 month then she filed 498a. but I want to live with my parents because iam the only son and they are the sugar patients.please help me the police is asking to settle what to do sir

    Reply

    • There is no law which can stop you from living with your parents or helping them in any way you want to. But then facing cases of wife is also a reality. Don’t do the mistake of reconciling again, as you have experienced already that she filed 498A beyond a point (3 times).

      You have to tell the police that you are ready to face FIR etc, and ask them to follow the process like CrPC 41 notice, etc. Police can’t force anyone to compromise. If you are not ready to face trial, then police will try to use these psychological techniques and pressure. One can’t have everything!

      Reply

  3. Our marriage held on 9 may2016 and it was an arranged marriage. My husband is like agyakari son type. He used to demand my full salary and deposited to his mother account. They have taken 20 lacs as cash during our marriage. After some months of my marriage when I refused to give full salary, fights has been started between us. My husband left me at my parent’s home saying that i will take u next day and the next day he refused to take me back . This happened almost 3 to 4 times in a year. I am suffering from depression and due to all this I was very disturbed and in this disturbance I tried to suicide also because my husband never want to listen to me and I cant live without him. On june 2017 he left me again at my parents home and next day refused to take me back. My oarents try to contact his a lot of times but he always said that i will take u after some time when she will recover from her mental illness. He then sent me divorce papers in july in fear of which i took sleeping pills. He has a lot of proofs against me like messages videos, audios photos. I have not put any case against him as i want to save my marriage and can not live with out him but he neither reply my message nor picks the call . He has blocked me from everywhere and also deny to give any belonging. I apologize him and his family several times but they are not ready to losten me or my parents. I have replied with maintenance case on his filed divorce case.What should I do..Is there any way to get him back or is the divorce only solution.

    Reply

    • If you have proof of paying 20 lakh cash etc, then what’s the worry about them having videos/audios/photos? Probably only if the stuff they have is hard evidence against you. Legally one can file RCR in court to join with husband, but that is a legal technique, it can’t change husband’s mind in any way if he’s made it up inspite of apologies.

      Reply

      • He said he can not live with me..Neither he is ready to give the money or belonging..I have some proofs where i have transferred him money several times on his demand.

        Reply

  4. I filed marriage annulment case in June’17 since my wife was not letting me even touch her. we are living separately from last one year. Soon after receiving annulment case notice My wife filed 498a & DVC against me & family. The Family Welfare Committee (FWC) set up as per directions of Hon’ble Supreme Court has called me for counselling on 21-11-2017 (Nampally, Hyderabad, Telangana). (3) lady counselors heard the story of my wife first and later mine. Even before i could end my version they started being judgmental. They have mocked when i was sharing my experiences as if it accounts to nothing. They did not consider what my family members were going through. They were totally partial to my wife.

    Till today my wife always maintained that she does not want to live with me. but only during counselling i.e., 21-11-2017, she started saying that she wants to live with me, which i think is on the behest of the counselors.

    The counselors offered me with one suggestion that i should take her back or else they will make sure to get me arrested. Further they threatened that half of my assets will have to be divided with my wife, salary also will have to be shared and etc etc.

    They said that what my wife has done till now does not matter and now that she is ready to live with me, i should forgive her and take her back. When i said i cannot do that, they are projecting me as the bad guy and she is the victim. How is this even counseling?

    As you can see clearly instead of counseling and hearing both sides and recording facts, they have resorted to blackmail and threats, which is unjust.They are even advising women what to say and what to do during counseling, just to make their case strong.

    Well i can say that she has filed false 498a and DVC as every man would rather say, but i dont want to. As i know for sure i can win my case.

    earlier it used to be policemen with undue power which is now transferred to these counselors who are acting as judges and threatening.

    Though supreme court tried to curb the misuse of law, it eventually is finding new forms to suppress men, but never ceases to exist.

    I hope there is something which can be done about this

    Regards,
    Sreekanth

    Reply

    • Unfortunately, many men facing false cases jump up on any kind of sympathetic statement by courts and in this case too many people have started proclaiming that this Family welfare committee guideline will help men from harassment in CAW cells, but I have clearly maintained from beginning that the FWC will be a civil version of CAW cell, and that is what you have experienced yourselves, too.

      To fix a problem, first a reasonable critical mass of people have to agree at first on what is the underlying problem. Unfortunately, people want to applaud at measures like FWC etc without realizing that unless the underlying incentives to divorce industry and third rate matrimonial lawyers are removed, such measures won’t have the intended effect. One more root cause is unjust interpretation of maintenance laws where judges want to give maintenance to able-bodied/qualified woman who has no responsibility even of a child. Ultimately people want to get rid of personal cases, enough effort is not being directed to remove the root causes.

      Reply

  5. Sir,
    We got married in Dec, 2014. Inlaws stayed very close by. We didn’t take any dowry. My in-laws must have spent around 7-8 lakhs totally. They didn’t give any jewlwry to their own daughter. I stayed separately for first six months from my wife because of govt job. When I got transferred we stayed together as joint family. Problem started when my wife asked fixed pocket money from me inspite of earning 45000 per month. I didn’t give her any pocket money. Then slowly slowly problems kept increasing. She didn’t want to contribute anything financially. But wanted that I pay for everything. She didn’t do any household work and asked either my mom does or get maids or cook.
    We never had a baby because she said that environment of the house is not conducive for baby.
    One day, when only my mom, wife were at home, they had a very nasty fight. Neighbors took my mom to hospital and her parents took her to a hospital and police was called. When I went to my mom, she said my wife hit her and she fainted. At same time my wife called me and said my mom hit her and tried to strangulate her.
    They then filed false cases on us.
    During CAW, I tried a lot of save this marriage by offering to live separately and agreeing to not ask about her salary and taking full responsibility etc.but she didn’t agree. In mediation she asked for 50 lakhs and divorce or FD of 30 lakhs to live with me.
    She says that she is ready to live with me but wants to run the case against my mom and sister.
    Mediation also failed as we didn’t agree to give any money.
    Now case is back with CAW. We have taken anticipatory bail.
    What will happen now? Is my job in danger? My parents are thinking of compromise but I don’t want to.

    I am totally shattered and clueless. How can I give so much money? We will have to sell our property.

    Plz help.

    Thanks

    Reply

    • You should have filed complaint for your mother or send to SP at least.

      Since she is working, earning reasonably well, her conditions are unreasonable (live with you but continue cases against mother/sister), it is best to fight all cases in court and deny her maintenance. No need to sell property etc, it’s just fear. You will have to ignore parents’ advice.

      Whole IT industry is filled with people with matrimonial cases of all kinds. Don’t know what is so special in your job. Companies care about performance only, not about personal life of employees.

      Reply

  6. Hi sir!
    Iam facing problems with false case 498A complaint by my wife in their nearest police locality.she filed case on my whole family along with my married sister and on her husband too who is in America from one year.My marriage done on 6th August,2016.Now she is demanding 30lakhs to separate from me.Iam not asking for divorce.she only wants to separate from me and she asking for money targeting my whole family with these false cases.she is bringing pressure from MLA and DSP.
    She torturing me from my marriage day.physically also she not involved with me.always kept me away.only two months she is with me that too not continually by adding several days in middle.she wants money always and separated from my parents to bother me.she filed in police station that my husband is impotence,so I need to separate with money.but the truth is she had that problem,but I didn’t bother and gave importance to her as it is not her fault.Though she is not knowing my kindness and blaming me verbally too.
    Now she is torturing mentally with this case and heated that she is also going to file other case on my family to bother.
    I had all proofs with me.she is saying they gave 20lacs to us,but there is no truth in that.
    Please help me how to come over it?

    Reply

    • >>husband is impotence,so I need to separate with money.but the truth is she had that problem,but I didn’t bother and gave importance to her as it is not her fault.

      So if it is not her fault, then in general it will presumed to be husband’s fault! So either you can come out of this avoid-problem-and-confrontation-at-all-cost-escapist mode, or soon it will be ‘settlement’ time for you.

      If you have all the proofs, then sit tight. Let her do some work because maintenance can become biggest headache after initial police complaints are over.

      Reply

  7. Hello sir.. There should be a CAM(Crime against Men) cell and ministry for men welfare in India. Still after a decade of many Suicides of Indian husbands increasing every year, why still there are no laws and cells for Indian men?? All Indian men should unite and force the govt. for the demand by fighting nonsense women activists. Unless it is done the next decade would be a disaster from boys who would become men and husbands too.

    Reply

  8. Sir,
    My wife has left my home with 4 months pregnancy by quarreling with my parents when I am out of station in March 2015. After one year in April 2016, she has given false 498a complaint against me and my parents. I went CAW cell for counselling for 3 times but didn’t signed when I went for the last time. Mean while, I took AB for me and my parents and attending the dates without fail. After 5 months,CAW cell is pressurising again to attend one more counselling without which they are unable to file FIR as per SC guidelines. Is it true? I would like to know if this counselling fails too, will 498a complaint will be automatically converted to FIR without my wife’s request. What should be my stand if they pressurise to compromise in the name of laws, police, jail term etc.

    Reply

    • >>After 5 months,CAW cell is pressurising again to attend one more counselling without which they are unable to file FIR as per SC guidelines. Is it true?

      SC has issued guidelines for counselling in case both parties agree, I doubt it will say about how many sessions or duration of counselling

      Most of these repeated CAW sessions are organised drama to see if husband caves in, and usually FIR will result in the end, so one might as well stop wasting time in more and more sessions which never seem to end.

      >>What should be my stand if they pressurise to compromise in the name of laws, police, jail term etc.

      It’s already covered in detail on this site… see right sidebar important posts

      Reply

  9. Hello Experts,
    I was diagonsed with a rare brain disorder last year, hearing this my wife started drama, and eventually left me 11 months now, she had now filled a CAW complain. I am physically handicapped by now since I don’t have no one to take care of me, this disorder keeps on increasing with stress given to brain, I am really worried for the future of myself, I had replied to CAW cell for the same, with all my medical reports.

    Please advise what will happen next?

    Thanks in advance,
    N.

    Reply

    • Always focus on pointing and proving falsity in their allegations, that’s very important.

      Because they can say that your brain disorder etc is a later incident… how does it falsify their allegations on you?

      Indians in general try to rely on emotions and sympathy factors to get justice, but justice in courts is purely based on evidence and law, and in general a man crying for help is termed a loser than eligible for sympathy or help.

      If your wife is working/earning and if she files a matrimonial case like divorce, you can claim maintenance under HMA section 24 citing your medical condition, need for expenses etc

      Reply

  10. My wife is not staying with me since last 1 year. She left my home in my absence, i was in the office at that time and she left the home from the back door of our house. When i asked her and went their to bring her back then she totally refused and her parents were supporting her. There were not any reason for her to leave my house. She left the home on her parents orders. Because they were asking Rs.20 lakhs and a flat which costs minimum 50 lakhs in her name. They said if you do the same then only she will come back and if you geo for any legal activity they were threatning me for filing false cases against me and my family. My mother is like devimaa so called very simple and she kept my wife as her own daughter. In the gap of every 10-15 days i regurarly called them to send her back but they filed case against me in CAW cell when i went there to meet them and my child who is 2 years old. What can i do afterall being a husband i m also a father and i was missing him very much. In the period of 3 months there were no conclusion from CAW cell because it is the place where only girly and womens supported. There is no sympathy for mens. I m missing my wife and child very much. I want to take them back but her parents are not sending her as they are demanding money and a flat which is not possible for me. I m a single son of my parents and there is no earning member now in my family except me. I want to keep my family happy with togetherness not with separateness. I sacrifised many things for my wife but after that she is not ready to come back as her parents are pushing her. Please help me in this matter and resolve the case.

    Reply

    • >>Please help me in this matter and resolve the case.

      Chance of resolution (like wife coming back and living peacefully) are close to 0, when her parents are instigating her. It doesn’t matter if she herself wants to stay with husband, that’s just the way things seem to turn out in India.

      Read the posts on this site, esp “Advice to men…” post.

      Reply

  11. Meri wife ka kisi ke sath affair hai.mere pass is baat ki means meri wife or uske boyfriend ki baaton ki 1voice call recording or uske mobile number ke last 6 month ke bill hai.lekin sexual relation nhi hai unke.meri wife ne mere sath dhoka kiya mere sath kyoki meri wife ki is recording me apne boyfriend ke sath bhagne ki planing hai.main kya kru sir

    Reply

  12. I m Rajesh, my wife has complained false 498a case and maintenance case.i m a central govt employee in min. of defence. my wife has deceived me having illicit relation since pre- marriage.I also have evidences of her illicit relation.I have a child too but not sure of mine and want DNA test.Now during counseling with the judge i asked to take decision of one time settlement and be free. But i want to give punishment to the boyfriend and in laws responsible for this misery despite my regular complaints about the illicit relation but they always favour the illicit relation keeping aside me. my main problem is my transferable job anywhere in India but i want to fight the case positively. what will be the best procedure and how can i manage to punish the accused who is sexually exploiting my legally wedded wife supported by my in laws.

    Reply

    • If you have adultery proof, and want to punish the boyfriend; where’s the need to take ‘one time settlement and be free’? File IPC 497 adultery on boyfriend and follow the cases.

      Reply

  13. Can you tell me any meeting related to false dowry and maintainence discussions happening in Gurgaon? If yes please share the details I would like to attend those meetings as my wife has filed false cases on me

    Reply

    • We share contact details only inside the Facebook or WhatsApp groups, because many people misuse the numbers: they don’t go to meetings, have no intention either, but call the number whenever they feel like.

      Reply

  14. Thanks for the articles posted. They are really useful. I got married in 2010 and had a very bad marriage till now as the wife is a govt. servant placed in some other city than I work in. After a few days of our marriage she went to her mother’s house as she was working in the same city and I was happy as she was able to work but we had a fight on the very first day so could not make up my mind what to do.Then we started visiting every two months but my depression started from then and I started feeling mentally broken due to living alone as my parents already live in my hometown.Then a boy was born after 9 months of our wedding. It was then her mother’s tantrums had started and she completely devastated my life. She took away the child from me and my wife would occasionally visit me and this was the turmoil that I had to bear and got very-very mentally depressed(chronic). Though she works she never agrees to help me financially. Then in 2011 she bought her own house in her city of work. Since then I had to bear her dramas of occasionally coming to visit me for sake of surviving this marriage. She always sweetly agrees that she will get transferred to my place..Its now 2015 and my suicidal tendencies are quiet high and as I go through your posts I feel helpless and going by the various sections such as 498A and others against me and also the IRBM I am feeling hopeless. Do you have any advice for me?

    Reply

    • Wife is having own property, I am quite hopeful you could one day get half that share at least 🙂

      My guess is you have pretty much hung all hopes on what the wife does or does not do. Why not join our groups? Does that also need wife’s permission?

      Reply

      • My case in caw cell.it is started on 29th June and now they ask for list of materials belong to them.my wife refused to go for mediation or counselling.what to do?what if will not visit for any other meeting.

        Reply

        • CAW proceeding gets converted into FIR 90-95% of the time anyway, so whether you go or not that’s going to happen.

          Mediation and counselling is no benefit to ‘accused’ husband. In the end, they exist to satisfy wife’s demands, not listen to husband’s side of story.

          Reply

  16. Sir,
    Mera naam Romesh chander hai … Sep 2014 mein meri shadi hui. Jaisay hi shadi khtm hui uske do teen din k baad meri wife ki cruelty start ho gyi… mein jb wife k ghar gya uske sth waha 4..5 din k rukne k baad jb maine usay wapis ghar chlne ko kaha to usne aane se inkaar kr diya ..bolne lagi k mein 10din k baad aungi ..mere hazaar baar bolne k bawazod bhi wo nhi aai or mujhe aklele hi ghar aana pada maine ghar se usay cl bhi kiya or aane k liye kaha to wo mujhe galiyan dene lagi aur 15 din k baad wapis aai or aate hi ghar mein jhgda shuru kr diya,
    or kehne lagi tumhari himmat kaisay hui mujhe bulaane ki or meri maa ko bhi galiyan dene lagi..uske bad hum apne gaau se jammmu aagye ..yaha bhi usne bahut tamasha kiya subah jaldi nhi uthi thi or jab bolo to galiyan deti or koi na koi cheez feenk kr maarti.. har roz maa behan se ladti rhti or usko agr kuch bolo to roti cheekhti ghar ka samman todne lagti or jb hum rokne jaate to humein suicide krne ki dhamki deti.. kuch waqt k bad wo pregnant hui jb usk pta chla to wo bahut gussa ho gyi or kehne lagi mujhe nhi chahiye bachaa or jo bhi doctor ne usko krne k liye mana kiya wohi chezen krti .roz apne parents k ghar jane ki zid krti during pregnancy .. but doctor ne safar krne se mana kiya tha safar k liye but wo nhi maani or zabarn apne maaike chle gyi..or waha ja kr usne bacha abort kr diya. jb wo wapis aayi to humne puche ye kya kr diya tune to aagay se gali den lagi or bolti k tum kon hote ho mujhe rokne wale meri life hai mein jo karu ..uske baad wo fr nxt tume pregnant hui to fr same pehle ki tarah maaike jaane ki zid krne lagi or isbar wo apna samaan or gold bhi sath lekr gyi.. or waha jakr frse bacha abort kr diya.. kuch din k bad usko aane ko kaha to inkaar kr diya… or had to tb ho gyi jb humein pta chla or women ceel se cl aayi k apke khilaf complaint ki hai apki wife ne ..hamare to hosh udd gye…usne hamare upar 498 ka case kiya hai or bhi bahut sare case kiye hain k dowry maangte hai maarte hai etc etc. So plz help me sir ..Give me suggestion what would i do in this false 498a case plzz sir rply fast.. what steps and precautions should i take …

    Reply

    • >> what steps and precautions should i take …

      Don’t make your wife pregnant again… For other things, enough material and judgments available on this site.

      Reply

  17. Firstly, Thanks a lot for detailed information. I have been struggling to find the information. Coming to problem, I have married(Arranged) in Dec 2014, Things are going well, She has a feeling that i have to stay with her family rather with my family.Her motive and there family motive is , i have to listen each and every word and follow it. Myself i am independent guy and true seeker for purpose of line. She keeps on complaining about my sisters, Mother about me to there family and relatives. She took suicide attempt in there home also to threatened me . I have been struggling with her on this. I have a friend (girl- Not married), i used to discussed these things and got depressed myself and some day i had a sexual conversation (gmail chat) with her and told this information. As my laptop has opened , she saw this conversations and started shouting on me(Which is accepted), I accepted that i have done it during that instances. Things went on for few months and after that , We had fight because of some issue and she planned to go her home in mid night and i stopped her, she hasn’t listened and i raised my hand to stop. Next day, we called there father to discuss about issues, All there relatives(9 members) came to my home and had a discussion with my family and with anger they beat me and my brother in law and took her to home. Again she came back and compromised myself Things went on and raising the same complaints on my family. My mother had an operation and she went to her home and said that she will come back . She hasn’t come back (4 months till now) and complaining about me that , i am sleeping with another gal for two months, Her father is complaining to all on this issue. I got irritated and didn’t message her, She message that i will listen to you all bla bla and doing drama in back-end. Her father complaining to all that i am sleeping with some one (Without any proof), I swear i am not. We asked her to come back.

    Main Question:-
    What actions, i have to take care if they file case 498a, DV etc. I haven’t filed any case to her. They have political background, I myself alone to fight on this. Please add your suggestion, what shall i do in this situations or shall i wait for there actions?

    Reply

    • You can join our groups to be prepared. Spare us the “political background” thing. Everyone says their in-laws are powerful but they themselves are weak! How is it possible that all politically connected and powerful people are marrying down, when it is a well-known fact that women tend too marry up?

      Reply

    • Hi Manohar,
      498A is bull shit. Either get an anticipatory bail, or if you are prepared to go to jail for few days do so and get a bail afterwards.

      Important thing is she bringing evidence, for all the cruelty she is alleging, IT IS USUALLY THE INTENT OF THE OTHER PARTY THAT THE CASE NEVER GETS TO HEARING, & A COMPROMISE IS WORKED OUT BEFORE. It so turns out (by default ironically) that your agreeing to mutual divorce is taken as a admission of guilt.

      Stand your ground that you are not guilty, and neither of your family members are guilty. If she has taken her accusation too far by accusing some one who is a distant relative (sisters husband living abroad), then she has to give a cogent argument about how she was offended.

      Let her struggle to find cogent explanations for each and every of her accusations. let your lawyer work to lambast her arguments. REMEMBER MULTIPLE ACCUSATIONS FROM HER SIDE WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR. If you are able to prove any one of her single accusation to be maliciously motivated, the judge will take cognizance and will treat all other accusations in same way

      REMEMBER – SHE NOT ABLE TO PROVE AND YOU PROVING MELITIOUS INTENTIONS are two different things.

      REMEMBER- THE KEY TO DIVORCE INDUSTRY IS MUTUAL DIVORCE. Call their bluff, its your money and your forefathers money accumulated over the generations. No crook should be so smart to bluff it away from you.

      Reply

  18. Dear sir, my life undergone in a same scenario as u said. my wife left one year back without intimation due to influence of her mother. Main villain is her mother for my tragedy story.I met lawyer, he applied for conjugal rights,hearing goes on for 6 months, later the court dismissed and transferred to wife place jurisdiction. her cousin sister spread bad rumours about me in workplace and also to my lady boss. After 6 months, my wife gave compliant to police station to collect back her money which she and her mother paid to me But it’s not their money. Now police gave one month time to pay their money back and compromise for mutual divorce Or else they will put dv,dowry harrasssment etc. I not even heard those words in my life. So please please please guide me soon..what to do.
    Police forcefully made me to sign for the statement. My right hand injured by accident but still no mercy to my wife,police or in laws.they feared me and my dad and got thumb imppresson s of us.
    20 days remaining to pay the amount as per police orders. I really don’t know what to do.
    Help me brother’s. Please

    Reply

    • Many othes had also heard about DV, divorce for first time and they quickly learnt about them, and regained their composure. You too can join our whatsapp group.

      Police has no power to give any orders, they are not a court. But if people like you and your father are so scared that they will give thumb impression (which seems incredible since you posted the comment in English) on a paper, and expect someone else will come and save you, you are having unrealistic expectations. Stop all communications, and reply only in court from now.

      Reply

  19. Sir,
    In my 498a/506 case, oppnt is using police as a force to stay together again with my wife.police gave one month time to find a new house, else threatened that I would be arrested. Pls advice how to deal with it, havnt got AB yet, applied for it. Dismissed once in lower court.

    Reply

    • AB is not guaranteed always and mostly it’s not given so that the husband is kept on tenterhooks. Also my guess is even when it is given, it is for a short duration and some conditions (like deposit money in court if 406 pending) are attached so person is always running around in courts in any case!

      With 498a SC judgment in Jul 2014 to follow CrPC 41, 41a; and issue of MHA advisory, arrests are not that great a problem as they were earlier. But people want to be ‘safe’, and I don’t know of anything which can guarantee 100% safety, in any area of life, so I decided to stop worrying about those things.

      Police has no business to tell people how to run their marriage. It’s the problem with Indians that we are scared of police. If your wife is giving suicide threats etc or other such behaviour and you feel dangerous to live with her, you can decide to stay separate. No law in the world can force anyone to stay with anyone else, and it applies to both husband and wife.

      Call 08882 498 498 and meet regularly the activists in your city. But don’t hope to get some readymade formula how to get AB or how to deal with wife. You are best judge how to deal with your wife and the problems.

      Reply

  20. we have selected a bride for our only son, engagement has to be fixed, then it came to notice that, the bride’s family is not good, so we refused to go for engagement. during the bride selection, the bride’s family taken photos of my son and bride standing side by side stating that it was their village culture to take pics from pellichupulu program. Now they tried to black mail us citing the photos, threatening us to file case, we did not care. Now they approached police and made false FIR under sections 420, 406 read with 34, in the written complaint the father of bride stated that, he given 3 lakhs to me. police also threatening us for a compromise. bride’s father come down and demanding to pay 1 lac for withdrawing the case in lok adalath….since they made names of our famale in the FIR,,,our relatives suggesting to pay 1 lac and go for compromise…..can you please guide me what to do….

    Reply

    • We never suggest compromise by paying money in false cases. How is photos taken side by side proof of marriage?

      What will you do if after this ‘compromise’, they tell the next marriage proposal party that your son was already married and show them the same photos again? Will you keep paying 1 lakh everytime?

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. […] Regarding police/CAW putting pressure to compromise: The sad reality is many people who face these issues ACTUALLY do compromise in terms of ‘settling’ the case by paying money and getting the coveted so called ‘mutual divorce’ and buying peace. As long as that keeps happening, police/CAW/advocates will keep pushing the new cases into the compromise pipeline.  Continue to full post about how to deal with the pressure of compromise put by CAW cell/police/lawye…… […]

    Reply

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