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Ch 9. Myths and things one should not do
Myth 1: Leaving job will help me save maintenance
This is a perennial favourite and a first thought in minds of some people, when they get a maintenance case filed on them.
"If I leave my job, I won't have any income. If I don't have income, how can the judge ask me to give maintenance to wife?"
There are few points we should take note of:
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Any strategy or tactic which is too obvious, would have been thought of by many other husbands in the past, who got maintenance cases on them. They would have tried them, and slowly the judges would have learnt how to take care of such cases. Unless you are sure you have read enough past judgments all of which awarded zero maintenance to wife upon simple declaration by husband that he doesn't have a job, this is a futile and risky exercise.
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Some men who have other cases also like 498A etc on them think that they will tell court that they have lost job due to mental tension and torture by wife. Well, whether the wife has tortured husband(alleged verbally in open court), or husband has tortured wife (alleged in IPC 498A case), it is still pending a trial in different courts. So, unless you have some more substantial evidence in your favour, for example your passport was impounded and you lost your foreign job, this will be taken more as a evasion and excuse than an actual fact. In rare few cases, I have seen some men who got a certificate or prescription from psychologist as proof of depression. However the benefits if any in saving maintenance by such techniques may be short term, whereas the loss of future career and earning potential are long term bad effects.
Which is a better scenario of the two below?
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Husband has a job with income of Rs 35,000 p.m. Interim maintenance awarded to wife: Rs 5,000 p.m. Net in-hand income. Rs 30,000. A small dent in income, even if lot more to the ego.
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Husband has left his job to handle the mental depression and cases filed by wife. His income is zero. Interim maintenance awarded to wife: Rs 2,500 p.m. Net in-hand income. Rs -2,500; with more legal expenses on the way since husband definitely wants to appeal against this unjust order!
Let's assume for the sake of argument that judge gave a zero maintenance order to his wife. His net income is still zero since he doesn't have a job. He's been fighting cases for last 9 months and intends to do the same vigorously for next 1 year by which time he will prove his innocence in 498A as well as other cases, and then take up a job. One year passes, the 498A case hasn't even come to hear-before-charge stage. One more year has gone after this, wife is not coming for evidence in 498A. Our false-case-fighter friend tries various approaches on how to get wife to come to court to give evidence but no one including his own lawyer seems to have any interest!
Time slowly passes, and it's been few years that our friend has been without a job, and now it's really difficult to find an employer who will be willing to hire him at even half his previous salary. Worse thing is cases are still pending in courts and it looks like they may remain so for few more years! Also, in India the mindset of employers is quite set about what maximum age person they want to hire for each experience level, and it becomes quite difficult to get a job if one has on a long career break. Sorry! Fighting cases with wife is usually not considered a great reason to having a long career break. If you instead say that you went to Himalayas and stayed with sadhus for 2 years, that might work out better in minds of HR. Some people may try to give a family/emotional reason that they were taking care of an ill family member, like father or mother. Again, it won't create a very good impression on anyone. Probably, it's better to say: "I wanted to teach my wife a lesson and so took a long break, but now I realize I could have done it in better way." All that is history now. Case closed.
After our lives are over, no one will remember us for which person was taught a lesson by us! Unless one has a larger cause in mind, leaving job is a useless exercise. One can continue to work and still fight the cases. The fact is that most of the people who have won their cases ending with zero-alimony mutual consent divorce continued in their jobs and still managed all their legal cases, including travelling to other cities where the cases were filed.
Myth 2: Taking back wife can save maintenance
Let me address this myth by citing a real question asked by a person, and my comment on his approach.
Question: I am slapped with 498a,406,34 IPC , DV and CRPC 125 . Got AB in criminal case. While in DV interim of X000/- per month is ordered. Her evidence completed in DV half cross is done half is pending will be on DDMMYYYY . in 125 judge asked her what u want she said divorce. Asked me I said I am ready to keep her. Judge said if she is unwilling u can't force her so anyway u have to pay alimony as per law monthly so it is better u pay 1 time alimony and take MCD.
My view: The fundamental mistake being done here by husband is like this. Wife has filed criminal cases, and asking for divorce verbally during open court proceedings, but she didn't file divorce petition actually. So in a way she filed criminal cases and DV to reach her actual target which is divorce and off course lumpsum settlement. Actually she has used the right weapons available in the Indian divorce industry and able to achieve the real target of divorce/money without even filing for divorce! That's how the game works. Wives don't even file a divorce petition, but not only they get the divorce but a handsome lumpsum settlement to go with it!
Now husband here says that he wants wife to come back. What does that tell any reasonable third person not associated with either party? That wife has filed all these cases, she wants divorce, but still husband wants to take her back; so the conclusion is that husband must have tortured her and wife's criminal and DV allegations must have some truth!
No matter what any lawyer tells you, after wife files DV/498A and such allegations, one should never say during mediation or open court that one wants the wife to come back. Proceed with evidence, cross-exam, full trial and defeat wife's cases. Wives who drag husbands to court do not do it with intention of being implored and brought back! Their intention is to get your money and get their freedom in form of so called mutual consent divorce.
If you follow the advice given earlier in this book, once you fight well and have a low interim maintenance awarded to wife, she won't be able to wait for many years living off on a low amount every month, so she will be forced to decide to call the battle off and go for mutual consent divorce with zero or a token alimony.
Myth 3: Filing RCR (Section 9) can save maintenance
Many men think filing RCR will achieve one or more of the following reasons:
1. Wife will come back if I file RCR.
Multiple phone calls, meetings, and elders' advice couldn't do it, but one piece of paper called RCR will do it! I think there is a hidden factor called Male Vanity behind this overly legal approach taken by husbands to solve marital issues. My guess is some men think that since wife is acting smart, creating problems for everyone, and not cooperating; they will also try some legal techniques to show wife her true place! So either from their own 'research' or based on lawyer's advice, they decide that taking a legal approach will create some fear or some respect for husband in mind of wife. All that may have been true in another era, but these days with the fad of women empowerment and everyone exhorting women with expressions like "you go, girl", any woman living in a reasonably urban area in India will be well aware that she has some rights protected under the law, and the law is not in favour of men anyway. Most of these women anyway come from feminist/matriarchal families, and they have learnt their lessons while growing up under the tutelage of their mother. They are least bothered with legal piece of papers like RCRs, since they are well aware they can create legal documents of their own at any point of time they want to.
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2. If wife doesn't come back, I will at least save on maintenance if she files a maintenance case later.
RCR leading to saving of maintenance used to happen in last century when men could use the argument of wife not joining back as a desertion by wife for no good reason. Even recently, one person wrote in MRI151 Whatsapp group that he has filed RCR because there is a supreme court judgment which denied maintenance to wife since husband had filed RCR already. When I read that judgment, the details were that the matrimonial cases had started in early 1990s, and the final order came in late 1990s. The whole case had started in 20th century and finished in 20th century. But we are in 2015 right now, not 20th century!
In 21st century, women who file cases don't stop at just one case. If they have filed DV case on you first, your filing RCR will be like acknowledging some truth of her DV case. That may actually lead the judge to award higher maintenance since judge will think why do you want wife to come back if the DV allegations made by wife are false? If she has filed 498A also before your RCR, your RCR will be like accepting your guilt on her 498A allegations!
In case you file RCR first and she files DV case later, and you don't withdraw your RCR petition after her DV case, again it will create the same impression in everyone's mind that since you want wife to come back inspite of her filing domestic violence allegations, there must be some truth in her allegations. That can actually lead to award of higher maintenance and compensation than lower, since DV act specifically allows for not just maintenance but even compensation for violence, mental harassment etc. So good luck to avoiding or reducing maintenance by filing RCR. That used to be happen in older judgments 20-30 years back, and unfortunately many lawyers have not updated themselves or are deliberately misleading husbands into filing RCR. Whether you file RCR or you file divorce, a lawyer's fees starts flowing from the time you file any matrimonial petition. So there is always a conflict of interest whenever one approaches a lawyer for advice on handling a marital issue.
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3. Some other technical legal mumbo-jumbo which says that husband could get divorce if wife doesn't join within 2 years of RCR decree.
I don't know of one single recent case where husband got divorce based on this mumbo-jumbo, but people want to believe such things, so I guess filing RCR will go on. All the cases of RCR leading to divorce decree are probably from 20-30 years back. They are from history, from an era when maximum maintenance amount under CrPC 125 was Rs 500, and DV Act had not been passed. In 21st century, we should read judgments passed in 21st century, and be aware of what's happening in judgments passed under newer legislation like DV Act.
What actually happens after filing RCR is that wife's party will realize that the time to go legal has come now. If they haven't filed any cases yet, expect a series of cases one by one in any particular order: DV case, CrPC 125, IPC 498A, and more. But it's more likely it won't be CrPC 125 because that is considered a first weapon to test the waters. So if it's CrPC 125, also expect a DV case few months down the line where they can make domestic violence allegations to their heart's content.
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