After catching snippets of news on social media, TV, online news about domestic violence case filed by wife on Somnath Bharti — once law minister in first AAP government in Delhi — I decided to delve into some of the patterns followed by wives, and also possibly some right ‘moves’ made by Mr Bharti so far. Let’s start with Firstpost’s rendition of the DV complaint as it unfolds:
In more controversy for ruling Aam Aadmi Party, its MLA and former Delhi Law Minister Somnath Bharti was on Wednesday slapped with notices by Delhi Commission for Women after his wife filed a complaint levelling charges of domestic violence, mental torture, dowry and forgery which the lawmaker has rejected as “baseless”.
Additionally, she also reached the police headquarters to meet police officials regarding her domestic violence case.
Ok. That’s how the script goes for high-profile cases these days. Don’t go to court or protection officer for filing DV case. Directly approach the women’s commission (do inform media before reaching there), and just don’t stop at women’s commission. Directly head to the police headquarters, after all women empowerment is the top agenda for police these days. Never mind that there is no real IPC crime for domestic violence per se, you can file a complaint for physical assault or other IPC crimes which are common for all public, and not specific to women. I am sure Mr Bharti’s wife was not planning to file IPC 498A just yet, maybe it’s in plan for the future if he is unrelenting.
AAP leader Somnath Bharti in trouble again. PTI
“Summons have been issued to Bharti and he has been asked to appear on 26 June,” said Barkha Singh, chairperson of DCW.
Singh added that Lipika has been living in Dwarka separately for the last three years and Bharti used to visit her.
“She approached us this afternoon and lodged a complaint alleging assault and domestic violence by her husband Somnath Bharti since 2010. We have issued notices to Bharti asking him to appear before us by June 26. She now wants an end to the torture,” said Barkha Singh.
I did catch Ms Barkha Singh espousing her wisdom in form of commentary on TV, and above news report too matches with that. Basically, she started off with what were some of the allegations by Mr Bharti’s wife, but a few sentences thereafter she was stating the allegations not as allegations, but as if the allegations were already proven true and she herself was the complainant! I am glad some sensible people in Law Ministry decided against giving full powers of court to women’s commission, else we don’t know what would have happened to people like Somnath Bharti yesterday!
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Further the news says:
As per her complaint, Lipika works in a multinational company and married Bharti in 2010. Bharti had also demanded dowry and a car, said Singh.
Alright! The script is ready for possible IPC 498A too. How can a complaint be filed without mention of word dowry and dowry harassment somewhere? So the stage has been set.
Somnath Bharti: A man of unfulfilled potential?
It is said that sometimes a woman marries a man for his potential (but mostly they marry only one who is earning more and successful). Some of the allegations point towards that as the reason rather than domestic violence and such things.
“She said Bharti had lied to her. Before marriage, Bharti had said that he owned an international law firm but later she realised that he did not. She has also complained of physical and mental torture. After making the complaint, she is scared,” the DCW chairperson added.
Another news on TV said that his wife alleged that she hoped things will become better once he became a minster. Really? Does it make any sense! What makes more sense probably is that his wife could put up with other things gladly had Mr Bharti been made a minister, but that did not happen in the second AAP government. Elsewhere the news says:
Singh added that Lipika has been living in Dwarka separately for the last three years and Bharti used to visit her.
Maybe I am a bit confused or maybe with abundance of common sense. How does a man torture a wife and children physically if he’s only been visiting them occasionally over the last 3 years? Like he will be going there with a plan: “Today I have my family visit lined up from 3-5 pm. 5 slaps to wife, couple of beatings to each of the children, some verbal abuses. Ok, that’s about enough for 2 hours!” How can a wife get physically tortured by husband who is not staying with her at all!
The following comment by Mr Bharti seems to suggest that his wife is not happy with his profession of politics, and his financial standing. But how does that become domestic violence and torture?
“For 5 years she is making a demand that I have to choose between my mother and her. I cannot fulfill this demand, where should I send my mother?” he asked, adding that he doesn’t have enough money to run two houses.
“Her second demand is that I should leave politics, because I don’t have a private life being in politics,” he said.
Somnath Bharti: The Jedi strikes back!
That’s what I call a masterstroke. Wife alleges domestic violence, hit back with allegation that she is stopping you from serving your mother, and motherland! That can dispel negativity in minds of most people, because most Indians have a soft and venerated feeling towards mothers, and for those who are bit more wife-oriented – maybe loyalty and service to motherland will melt their heart! You can’t go wrong with that 1-2 combo strike!
Further, Mr Bharti has commented on wife’s allegations:
“For 5 years she is making a demand that I have to choose between my mother and her. I cannot fulfill this demand, where should I send my mother?” he asked, adding that he doesn’t have enough money to run two houses.
One of the most famous dialogues in Indian cinema is about loyalty and service to one’s mother. From movie Deewar (1975):
Vijay (Amitabh Bachan): Aaj mere paas paisa hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai, naukar hai, bank balance hai, aur tumhare paas kya hai?
Ravi(Shashi Kapoor): Mere paas Maa hai!
Translation:
Vijay:Today I have got money, a bungalow, car, servants, bank balance … what do you have?
Ravi: I have my mother!
Which brings me to the lesson which can be learnt by husbands from Mr Bharti’s Jedi like strikes in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles put in his path by wife. What positive things are you doing in life, or what is the positive stand you are taking?
In practical terms, many husbands who face false DV and other cases from wife are doing just the opposite. They are willing to let go of parents/mother, and take a separate house under wife’s pressure. Some are pressurized to take a house near wife’s parents’ house. Ultimately, the onslaught never stops, and one day the man faces the same DV and other cases what Mr Bharti is facing as of now. So what’s the point of doing all that sacrifice and drama, if the end result is going to be the same? Once a man bows down to patently unreasonable demands, it is never ending saga of frustration and humiliation.
Bring something positive to your fight
There is one thing which husbands facing false cases need to learn from politicians. It is grit in the face of obstacles, and constantly seeking positive actions in the midst of negativity around.
Many Indian politicians have multiple criminal cases filed against them. They never stop and lament for a moment – “What will happen to my parents. We have never had police come to our house in our family ever!” Instead their response is more of a conqueror and they declare confidently that all these criminal cases are filed as political vendetta by political opponents. More the criminal cases, better the politician since it’s a sign that there are many opponents jealous of his success and they want to bring him down by filing false cases! In fact, Mr Somnath Bharti has himself been in limelight for the wrong reasons for his alleged previous skirmish with African women:
This is not the first time Somnath Bharti has courted trouble. In the past, he was accused of molesting African women during his midnight-raid of a sex and drug ring operating out of the Malviya Nagar neighbourhood.
Bharti along with others were chargesheeted by the Delhi Police sections 354 (molestation), 147/149(rioting), 341 (wrongful restraint), 506 (criminal intimidation), 509 (outraging modesty of a woman), 153A (promoting enmity between two groups), 323 (assault) and 427 (criminal trespass) of the IPC.
His nightly raid at Khirki extension was controversial for sure, but not everyone agrees that his actions were dishonest or with bad intentions, even if the execution can be faulted.
Now many men will be asking: What positive thing I can bring to my fight? I am only a XYZ, in so and so profession. I have old parents etc etc.
How about dignity, and self-respect?
Nice article. But need some input as how one can save himself or what precautionary steps the parents should take to avoid the charge of DV? My Sister who is around 57 years (school teacher) and Bother-in-Law aged 67 years (a heart and sever diabetic patient) were accused by their Daughter-in-law (who was not even staying with them) for DV. She used her connection in Police and managed to get arrest warrant. She was threatening to my Sister for some time to write a property in her favour. When my sister did not follow her order she started abusing my Nephew and when Nephew refused to toe her line she filed case against all three.
Request from all of you to guide what the parents to do in such cases so that the daughter-in-law should not get the chance to take shelter on VA.
DV and probably criminal charges already there, so stage of avoidance is over now.
>>Request from all of you to guide what the parents to do in such cases
don’t allow DIL into house… sometimes they may break lock in your absence and then it’s difficult to evict such ‘abla-naaris’. There are many posts on site about other issues on how to handle DV cases etc.
The main problem with our system is we have incompetent laws that cannot stand the test of fairness. To compound the problem, we have incompetent courts especially the lower ones. I have filed a custody petition three years back. In fact, I have made the Judge’s life easy by saying in my petition that I will be content at least with good visitation if court cannot give custody to me. After two years and 20 adjournments, the court dismissed my case saying mother is not in the said jurisdiction. In fact, mother has not appeared even once. When I filed for appeal in High Court, it took one year for High Court to set aside the lower court order and sent my petition back to lower court asking them to look into it afresh. So I am back to square one after 3 years of pain. I guess it is a sin to be born in this country.
>>I guess it is a sin to be born in this country.
I doubt any other country is going to open their doors to take in 1.25 billion Indians, so it’s up to us to fix it.
A broken glass cannot be fixed…. the best you can do is to not step on the glass pieces.
The basic problem is that he buys into the “marriage is about perpetual romantic love” idea which has repositioned marriage conceptually. No longer covenant/duty/bond and rather “voluntary extended romance”.
The problem with this repositioning (apart from the fact that it isn’t the Christian understanding of marriage) is not that romance in marriage is bad per se (it’s good, when it’s there, because it helps), but rather that romantic love is *fleeting*, is subject to ups and downs (as with all emotions) and ebbs and flows (as with all emotions). That is — it is fickle and fragile and changeable, as is the case with ALL EMOTIONS. This is why having “emotional fulfillment” as the core basis, the fundament, of marriage makes no sense — it is basing what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment, and a critical social institution for familial and, by extension, social stability, on a basis which is fickle, fragile and changeable — it’s like building a skyscraper on sand, it makes no sense.
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2015/06/04/unhappy-make-your-husband-put-a-deposit-into-dr-harleys-bank/
I am reading your writings for past few days and I must say you are head on. I appreciate your approach towards the problems..
Our dear lawmakers are getting the taste of the same medicine they were advocating for the comman man. In your words only.. There are so many White Knights in our society .. The whole media is one White knight .not a single news channel will convey the man’s perspective; at the allegation itself they will crucify the man.. True if jokers like Barkha Singh get absolute powers then there will only be women in society…
It’s the case world over men are battered through out the world.
Your posts are very motivating and realistic. Thank you