Allegation in false cases by wives that “my husband is impotent” is not a new weapon, but it seems to be getting very common these days. So I thought to write a post solely on this topic.
Typically this allegation will be made in a petition filed under DV Act (domestic violence) by wife. But it is very much possible that such an allegation may be made under CrPC 125 or even IPC 498A. Because usually when the 498A/DV women start to think what to file in complaint, they are ‘ably’ assisted by ‘learned’ lawyers (read any online lawyers forum) who ‘advise’ them to file complaint under so and so section, and so on.
If you are the respondent husband or accused with such allegation made against you, the whole strategy has to be completely changed from here on.
Medical definition of impotence
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Impotence
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Impotence, often called erectile dysfunction, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection long enough to engage in sexual intercourse.
Definition of erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection long enough to engage in sexual intercourse.
So let’s move on. I have clearly articulated my stance against any so called compromise to bring back wife when a legal case gets filed against a husband. The reasons are also outlined in various important posts on this site. Only in case of maybe a CrPC 125 without serious allegations, a compromise may be attempted, but I am saying it only as an exception for those with great urge to try to give marriage one more chance. In practical experience any future rapprochement with stable marriage has not been seen from cases seen by MRAs. Also, in many cases after such a ‘compromise’, the couple has a child and once the wife leaves after having the child, the husband basically become responsible in some way for having made a bad decision for the child too! Not to mention his legal position becomes that much more complex all for the ‘crime’ of having given wife a second chance.
Actually, when wife alleged impotence on husband which is not true, she is signalling to him that she doesn’t want to come back under any scenario. Also, such an allegation would have been made as a joint decision of her parents and family members, and looking at gravity of the allegation, they are all in acting in unison to destroy your reputation and possibly your future marriage prospects if you don’t handle it well. So many husbands think that my wife is being misled by her parents, they don’t want to acknowledge that she has decided who she wants to be led by, and it’s not her husband!
Following things need to be done whenever faced with allegation of impotence:
- Of course deny it completely in your written statement/objection to her main petition. Do not listen to lawyer that we will do some mediation or some such BS. How will mediation remove this allegation against you?
- There is no need to go for any potency test or such thing at time of filing objection. That is a matter of husband’s evidence or wife’s cross-exam and that stage comes much later after wife’s evidence is over. Count maybe 2 years and more for family court cases.
- If wife has made this allegation in any open forum, social media like Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp etc and it has spread all around, then you may have to seriously consider filing defamation and damages at some point of time. If it is on an online forum, then you could use Information Technology Act Sec 66A to proceed against wife too. Because such an allegation could destroy your future chances of marriage, and even if one doesn’t want to remarry, such an allegation can’t be left to disappear on its own with passage of time. There are many such cases and one of them is here: Wife to pay 2 lakh damages for alleging husband was impotent
- Do not entertain any other ‘offer’ of compromise, financial settlement, mutual consent divorce because even if you accept it, the word may leak out that your first marriage broke because of impotence. Try proving people wrong once they have made opinion about you based on ‘reliable’ grapevine! The second marriage if done might also be doomed, because only old-digger type of women are usually ‘attracted’ to men who got out of first marriage with some kind of ‘impotence’ tag lying in a document somewhere.
- Make it as a major point during any ‘mediation’ proceedings that it is you the husband/respondent/accused who needs to be compensated to a sum of Rs 10 Crore because such an allegation is made against you. Of course this will never happen but the point is that you shift the focus on their false allegation before they try to stick the usual false DV allegations against you.
- Update 10/05/2019: In the final analysis, such female will not come back or if she does it will be short-lived before fresh allegations/cases filed on husband because she has no respect for husband or for sanctity of a relationship. Those who do don’t make such seriously defamatory false allegations. So the marriage is effectively doomed once a false allegation of impotence is made about husband. Though this site doesn’t advise on how to get divorce, it is pertinent to note that false allegation of impotence can be one of the easier ways to prove mental cruelty on husband whereby divorce can be granted. In such cases, filing divorce might be actually advisable because not filing will later lead to suspicion about husband that if he was indeed not impotent, then why is he not filing divorce and only trying to fight the false cases? That has been the usual advice by MRAs which is still correct as regards to fighting vigorously the false allegations, but it’s becoming outdated with regards to the part about husband not ever filing divorce no matter how good grounds and evidence. One reason for that advice was the problem of dealing with an additional demand of maintenance under HMA 24, so one has to weigh that against the possibility of using this divorce case to get a quicker settlement with zero alimony – which is very much in line with the “fight for what’s right” and “fight for results” methodology of this site.
As regards other parts of petition like maintenance demand, read the other posts about maintenance under CrPC 125 and DV Act and HMA 24.
mohd says
August 31, 2019 at 5:35 pmHi,
I have been married for 5 months now.My wife didn’t stay with me for more than 20 days and marriage was never consummated.Couple of months back she alleged that I am impotent, for which we did Doppler ultrasound test and the reports are positive.But still her lawyer is demanding me to pay full alimony apart from the gold which we have gifted her and it belongs to her.
videv says
September 2, 2019 at 12:03 pmShe’s not going to come back or live like a wife. You have to decide what to do. Gold etc gifted is stridhan under Hindu laws, but may be treated differently under Muslim personal laws, so you need to check on that. Same goes for alimony.
The problem is husbands don’t ask right questions and readily go for the settlement cum capitulation. E.g. why shouldn’t you be getting compensated for the damage to reputation being done and false allegations of impotence?
sundaram says
July 23, 2019 at 4:55 pmSir,
I got married in July 2018. As my wife was not interested in sexual activities and avoiding me for reasons best known to her. Hence marriage was not consummated. Instead she complained to her parents that i have impotency hence cannot lead a happy marital life. After that she went to her parental home many times and stayed with her parents. Her parents didn’t show any interest to let her to live with me. She and her parents were allegedly calling me impotent guy in front of relatives and friends during a family function and did not let their daughter to live in my home. Even for Diwali they didn’t let her to our home for celebration and they were spreading stupid and false messages about me to my friend’s n relatives.
In my 1 year of marriage life, she was with me only for 50 days and the remaining period she was with her parents and abusing me.
She went and complained to state women commission that i am an impotent guy, hence she needs divorce. After thorough enquiry by the commission, her plea was rejected and they came to a conclusion that her version would be untrue. After that she withdrew her complaint and she issued advocate notice to me stating all blah blahs. Therefore, I sent her suitable reply notice to her. Within a week She had file a case under Section 12(1)(a) in The Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.
1. She is alleging that 40 sovereigns of gold were given to her by her parents at the time of marriage, but actually she never exhibited her jewels to us hence I don’t have any clue on that.
2. Next is Impotency, in order to protect from unnecessary comments passed by my wife and her parents I went for potency tests in a private hospital and now having a potency certificate.
Kindly advise me in this regard
videv says
July 24, 2019 at 5:23 pm>>avoiding me for reasons best known to her.
It was pre-planned to allege impotence on you later.
You have already sent reply to legal notice. Next actions cannot be out of line with the legal reply.
It’s already mentioned in article that false allegation of impotence (and written to women commission!) is cruelty and divorce can be granted. What to do or not do is up to you.
Whether they say 40 sovereigns of gold or the taj mahal itself as a gift given during marriage, ultimately such false allegations of impotence on husband are made to achieve two ends: 1) make husband feel self-doubt and his family feel humiliated and not willing to fight back (when in truth any self-respecting man should fight back strongly!); 2) The other being they want to be able to claim in society later that their daughter is still a virgin hoping she can readily be re-married. That’s the reason they have not filed any actual case yet because they fear by filing a case, the second marriage of daughter will become difficult since people have become very suspect of any woman who has filed any kind of case on husband in first marriage. Further they feel that by claiming moral superiority and faulting husband’s impotence, they can extort easily the money which otherwise will be more difficult to come by.
Sonal Agarwal says
July 6, 2019 at 8:23 amSir, My Wife’s family abused impotent after leaving home after few months in spite of having marriage consummated and intercourse. Then she came back after few months and entered home and living with ease. I Don’t want to continue the marriage. Please suggest sir.
videv says
July 6, 2019 at 12:45 pmRefer to para Update 10/05/2019. One instance of false allegation of impotence can also be deemed as cruelty, but only if proper evidence is there and careful pleadings made.
The problem is most men who want to file divorce don’t want to make a minimal effort to read up on divorce law, and don’t have basic patience needed to sustain after filing case in court. And in the meantime, they do all kind of emotion driven things which become difficult to explain legally in court (because very little leeway given to husbands). In your case also, you took her back, so now that will be portrayed as condonation by other side. And probably it’s in-laws only who made allegation of impotence, and wife had kept quiet – is that right? The plan is that if you file divorce a case everyone will suggest to forget the in-laws, just live with wife happily! So now she has come back after humiliating you and sitting pretty!
Barath says
July 2, 2019 at 3:04 pmDear sir, my brother who is been married for the 6 months didn’t consummate marriage. When asked he says that her activities are not attractive that he could not get interest with her.
She even tried suicide and used it as a mean to emotionally blackmail him to cosummate or will do it again. Her side thinks that he is impotent and demanded him for test by raising a complaint with local police.
By the police demand he agreed to go for impotent test. What are all the consequences if test proves positive or Negative for him.
How should he handle this to overcome all the troubles?
videv says
July 6, 2019 at 12:56 pm“her activities are not attractive” – This vague and indirect language will not work in courts.
If he’s impotent, then she becomes eligible to get divorce on that ground alone, apart from usual reliefs like maintenance etc which women can file anyway with no evidence needed either. But since she tried suicide drama it’s quite likely she’s having faults but trying to put the blame on husband.
Doing potency test because police suggests so is a very bad idea. Police is not a panchayat or a court but for helping women, they will take up that role, and if he actually is found to be potent, then police will say “What can we do if wife doesn’t want to live with you. We are only police”!
Keep all the messages, paperwork etc so far to prove that because of wife’s allegations and police involvement, he’s going for potency test. If he is found potent, then he can file divorce on ground of mental cruelty. I don’t know if it will help “overall all the troubles”, but at least one trouble can be gotten rid of.
Aryan says
June 13, 2019 at 10:26 pmHello Sir
I seek legal advice in case of my cousin brother’s marriage (country – India, religion – Hindu).
My cousin brother (age 35) got married in Jan 2019. Both husband and wife (age 34) are graduate but not earning (jobless).
His married life was good until 2-3 months from the date of marriage.
He got some health issues and probably due to miss treatment ( as well as due to the psychological stress), it resulted in impotency. His wife and her family believe that his impotency cannot be fixed by treatment (just within 3 months of the treatment). And she wants to divorce.
his wife and her family want following in form of maintenance.
1) They want to fix monthly amount till she gets re-married
Note: Both husband and wife are graduate but are not earning (jobless). The husband doesn’t possess any property on his name.
2) They want a share in bank balance posses by husband’s mother
3) They are also asking to reimburse the marriage expenses incurred (Like – marriage hall booking amount, dinner amount, etc.)
4) They are also claiming on all the pieces of jewelry given by husband’s side to the wife as gifts. They also want back all the gifts given to the husband by them as well.
5) They also want an affidavit signed by the husband that he will not re-marry any other girl later on.
Could by please advice do they entitle for all above demands, if not what are they entitled for?
If we can prove in court that his impotency was temporary and now he is medically fit, what could be the next?
They also have lodged police complaint claiming that the husband was impotent from childhood and the husband and his family hid it.
What should we do to save ourselves from this false complaint?
Police have called husband and the family members (whose names are included in the complaint) to record statements.
What should be the statement of family members in this case?
Note: Husband’s family is a middle-class family. His mother is working in govt. job and have many dependants.
Wife’s family (her parents are working in govt jobs, brothers own shops) comparatively economically sound.
videv says
June 14, 2019 at 8:48 amIf it is false allegation then medical certificate can prove that man is not impotent.
If however impotence is found during recent medical check-up also, then it will be difficult to tackle allegations that the fact was hidden before marriage.
Answers below on each point:
1) Possible as per law, in the sense that if you don’t agree she can go to court
2) No legal right of wife.
3) No legal right on marriage expenses
4) Right of stridhan on gifts given to wife, not on what was given to husband, though they can pressurize as part of negotiations. In that case, you can argue if the marriage is like null and void and non-consummated, why not each side keep whatever it had given to other?
5) No such law. Such an affidavit/contract could be very well invalid since contracts about marriage are not allowed as per contract law. What is the need to sign such a thing unless you are really guilty of hiding impotence?
Temporary impotence is not that common I think, but if it actually happened few months after marriage and if wife is not denying that marriage was consummated, then that itself proves that husband was not impotent immediately after marriage. Then everyone can play the blame game and run around courts for 10 years.
Why is she not working if she is educated and can?
How did they agree to get woman married to an unemployed man? Out of pity on him? The whole thing seems fishy and there are hidden things.
Raj says
April 22, 2019 at 3:48 pmHello Sir, I have been married in 2017 India and we lived together for 4 months in US and separated due to work. Now again together but am being allegated for impotence. But we had intercourses multiple times last month and her menus period for affected due to our unprotected sex also. Also I checked my semen analysis and it is positive. Now if she claims that I am impotent is there a way to prove the multiple intercourse we had in the past?
videv says
May 10, 2019 at 3:50 pmYou haven’t read the post properly – condition of impotence is different from problem with semen etc.
Such things like intercourse are not proven or disproven except maybe when one is able to get an admission by way of documentary evidence (email, SMS, WhatsApp, video/audio recording etc) from spouse about it.
sachin says
April 22, 2019 at 3:21 pmHi we married 10 months back. since marriage from first day her family interference is too much in our home.my house is became home of big boss.In everything from kitchen to bedroom her mother, Brother, Uncle asks questions and apply illogical logic to it.They take meetings and ask me questions for the same and do shout on me and insult me. Before wedding she proposed me by sending messages on matrimony website and told that she is doing puja etc for getting me she don’t want to loose me etc words were used.she make me emotional by saying her brother divorce happened last year as her sister in law was had affair with someone else and now there family is in tension.before our meeting when we share expectations shared she told same pinch to every thing and told that wedding with me is dream for her.but after wedding she take doubt in my everything I shown her n her family salary slip n many things explained by me.she see negative in everything I do but still I love her, I am concentrating on her positive points only.I never slapped her or anything but when she got no reason she took me to one sexologist who is good friend of her family doctor. In first meeting he took my side and told me that your wife is having too much ego in front of her so in second seating with him I tried to keep my points aggressively that time he prescribed me medicines which are anti-psychotic and medicines for Erectile dysfunction(we did abortion with consent of both too before). Now when my brother in law’s second wedding done after some days from his wedding when no one was in home she left home with gold jewelry and all. my wife and her family told that she don’t want to continue relation and forwarding photo of prescription to their relatives that she left the boy because he is psycho and have sexual problems.when we were together she messaged me that she got offers of some rich families but as she is married so will recommend these to others. I still want to save this relation If I denied to divorce does still she will still get divorce or not? How much years it will take.I hav back up of all messages mentioned above. also have Call recording regarding I never demanded her any money or did any sexual or other harassment.
videv says
May 10, 2019 at 4:18 pmFirst you have to decide whether this is fit relationship to save. In my opinion there is no relationship at all or at best there is one sided relationship from you towards her where you have been trying to be her “Captain Save-a-Damsel-in-Distress” and she has used this to the extent to create a false psychiatric and medical evidence against you.
If you don’t take proper actions, things can go against you BECAUSE such false psychiatry based evidences are used mercilessly in matrimony related cases against husbands, and I have seen opposite side lawyers will use it at every instance including calling the husband “psycho” in open court whenever there is a hearing.
>>that time he prescribed me medicines which are anti-psychotic and medicines for Erectile dysfunction(we did abortion with consent
Here is a way to fight back which will teach that so called sexologist a nice lesson that he will think 10 times before prescribing any anti-psychotic or mentioning ED for any husband in rest of his career. As positive side effects, it will give you evidence to fight back any future false cases by wife, including getting evidence to file divorce on her.
1. Find the documentary proof of medical affiliation/license/accreditation to official medical bodies of the doctor. Filing RTI etc may be needed.
2. Get medical documents of the abortion. I hope you have some proof that there was consent. Else that is one more false allegation coming your way that you forced her to abort, which will be inconsistent with allegation of ED but being consistent is never a major hurdle for women who file false cases. In any case, this abortion thing is such common allegation that it is not taken that seriously UNLESS she has real proof that you forced her to abort, which of course won’t be there.
3. The abortion document will prove that she became pregnant and that will prove that there is no impotence in you. There is no need to think complicated scenarios about how a woman can get pregnant even though husband might be impotent. The onus of proving impotence shifts on them.
4. Get copy of the fraud prescription which prescribed medicines for impotence.
5. Use above documents to File a complaint against the doctor in the accreditation bodies be it state medical council or whatever other accreditation he might have. The complaint will be that he prescribed a medicine for impotence even when there was no such condition. Ask for his license to practise medicine/sexologist/giving psychiatric prescriptions etc be cancelled and any other reliefs which may do justice to the case.
Once that doctor comes in line, he will be forced to correct and maybe render apology to save his career, and that will give you the documentary proof that not only there was no impotence, but there was creation of this false evidence by wife who enrolled some fraud doctor in her plan, too. This evidence can also help you to get divorce because making false allegation of impotence is mental cruelty and a ground for divorce.
sandesh says
April 12, 2019 at 6:16 pmOne sexologist who is friend of my Wife’s family doctor prescribed me anti-psychotic and Erectile dysfunction drugs.my wife and her family spreading this prescription in their circle.But I don’t have any of these problems. We just married 10 months back. before wedding she told me that she is doing puja etc before sunset for wedding wiith me and told many emotional sentences.but after wedding she started criticizing me in everything.she tells everything happens in our home to her mom including bedroom talks and her mother give her guidance in everything.They took many meetings with me and shouted on me.they mentally abused me by this 6 months back still i didn’t gave any reply and was firm on my stand that I ll not give divorce. as her brother was divorcee, they sent her back for 2 months(after wedding she rarely stayed at our house she stayed at mother’s home for many weeks) and once her brother’s wedding occurred they she came for 2 days and went back to her home with all gold and 3 bags of cloths and material etc when no one was at home.Now they demanding divorce by mutual consent or told that they will file divorce case and will get divorce automatic after 9 months.But I still love her. what to do? also what about that sexologist doctor on first seating he took my side and told me to not please wife much as she having too much ego but in second seating he told that I have psychic problem and written the medicines regarding that and told my wife in front of me that see for 2 months or take divorce.she told me many times that she is getting proposals of rich boys when we were together and I think it is the main reason for divorce. I have back up of all above messages. Can I go for Mutual or go in court and do battle there?
Mohan says
April 1, 2019 at 1:45 pmNRI marriage lasted for 3 months, then wife stayed back in India stating that she will work on getting her own work authorisation to work in USA. After all the usual drama of threats and trying to take control of me by her family members. First wife registered a FIR on husband and all family members, the DV and also divorce.
1. If I do not participate in divorce proceeding she will get ex-parte and get whatever maintenance wife asked for since it would be ex-parte.
2. If I contest the divorce then would have to travel to India where I have the 498a hanging on my head. Have not yet applied for AB, but what if I get bail with travel restrictions would loose my current job.
Please advice what steps are the best in such circumstances ?
Have read your book this is the situation I am in currently — Wife has filed for divorce (mostly after IPC 498A, DV case etc)
videv says
April 1, 2019 at 10:18 pm1. Or what alimony judge thinks to be suitable, but it won’t be more than what is asked for.
2. That husband will lose job or have travel restrictions places is favourite trick of settlement lawyers. Unfortunately, most husbands don’t want to explore the alternative either.
Steps have to be in line with one’s own knowledge of law, and will to fight.
Akshay says
February 15, 2019 at 2:43 pmMy wife filed 498a, 406,504, 323 abd 34 case on me and my family one year before. Now case trial just started. When case is in police stn and now in court so many her relatived and some gundas called us to compromise case and give her divorce as well as mentally harrased and use bad words threaten language when we not agree their words and refuse to compromise we decided to fight the case. When we approached police stn where case has been filed IO not consider single evidence against her, she used so many people against us to threaten and harrassed to get money with compromise. Can i use this calls of threaten and harrasement as a evidence during trial in court.
videv says
February 27, 2019 at 10:36 pmYes you can, but not for just “mental harassment” which is too commonly used to cover anything unpleasant – they may say that the talk was about settlement and a genuine ‘offer’. But more importantly any serious threat or extortion type of event should be reported to police (send to SP by speed post if police doesn’t take complaint).
Venkat says
January 8, 2019 at 5:24 amHi sir,
Im married and stayed 45 days in wife house after the marriage in these time we have tried for intercourse but she said that she is getting pain then she is avoiding me ad not showing any interest then made complaint against to me to their parents like I’m impotent, they bring me to doctor and did all medical tests and doctor said its normal and advised me to use tablet and he advised my wife to use gel at Bath time but she scolded me that you are the reason about this situation she and her parents blamed me like im impotent in front of my parents and relatives finally she sent notice that I’m cheater and asking for componsation and also mention the notice I took dowry from them but actually they have not even given nothing to me or my family. Please suggest me how to face this situation
videv says
January 9, 2019 at 12:07 pmThey want to get alimony and also get the certificate of non-consummated marriage!
Get written proof or audio recording at least that she said you are impotent.
Based on that itself, one can get divorce since it’s a serious false allegation and mental cruelty. However the law doesn’t allow filing divorce before 1 year, except there is a clause for filing before 1 year which is used very rarely but you can try that.
If you have proof that she has a medical condition that she has hidden, annulment can be filed based on ground of fraud in marriage. Many a time such women have some medical problem.
You should be the one asking for compensation. Because of her you will get divorcee tag.
For other allegations, you have to deal based on merits (there is none in theirs!).
pradeep says
April 10, 2018 at 5:45 pmSir, i got married to my far relative girl in 2015 as per hindu rituals and i am from karnataka. In about 2.5-3 years my wife tortured me lot verbally and mentally by scolding me ,blackmailing for me to get separated from my parents. she scolded me as hopeless husband when i told my parents that she attempted suicide by trying to drink harpic and once kept knife on her wrist to fear me. she left home 3 times. i consoled her all the time but she showed me no respect and to my mother. she gas lied on every one at home and my all relatives. When i took her to her native for a function, i told her elder brother not to send her, because she is very arrogant.She had Hyperthyroid, kidney stone, PCOD, previously she got scanned 3 times to check for pregnancy. Later to cover her mistakes, she told his brother that i am impotent. Later in a discussion her brother said the same that we have cheated them, because i am impotent and got married. He told to get my medical report, if it is normal he told he will get divorce papers signed by his sister.
after 2 days i got tested semen analysis and genital parts. everything is normal. Now i want divorce, but they are not ready to give. Even i dont have any written proof for the allegation made, however some audio is there in which i discussed with her uncle about this matter. He was present during face to face discussion and he agreed that what the girl’s side alleged is wrong and there is none of my mistake.
Kindly help, can i file for divorce, what can i do
videv says
June 23, 2018 at 7:00 pmYou can always file for divorce buddy, but that’s not part of our grand plan to help men get divorce, so you may want to self-help and/or read this book as reference:
Guide for Men on Divorce, Cruelty, Desertion, Annulment(only in Kindle Edition)
Sumeet says
December 22, 2017 at 8:40 pmThis Article is actually true and on current situations faced by men all over. There r so many womens who r just blindly claiming Impotence against their husbands. Either they dont wanna stay with husband or they just have some problem in them which they cant accept.
I have faced a similar case since June 2017.
I got married in Jan 2016.
I was surprised when my wife suddenly preferred not to return back to my home.
After communicating with her she totally ignored to come back or compromise.
In Oct 2017 she sent me a notice of claiming me as impotent as well as fake stories of me hitting her private parts…Which was so horrible to read and that she stayed with me only 6 months which was FAKE.
Good that i had so many photos clicked throughout the year.2016 to may 2017.
After which we people met and discussed and thankfully her father spoke about notice being false.
Good that i recorded the communication.
my wife straight away discussed of not coming back.
we again gave her time to think and suddenly she started making emotional games with my father.
Then finally when i collected her call record with me where she had been extremely rude on calls and no sympathy even after i met with my accident.
Finally when i spoke to her again she was totally quite on call when i asked her did i ever hurt her? and she said NO that was the best ever could happen.
But i am so hurted that i dont wanna get her back now.
She has already spoiled my image in society without any knowledge of how a legal notice affects anyones career too.
I just would request all mens to be careful and keep enough records.
call record..Video records of wife’s cruelty. Whatsapp screen shots. Whatsapp rude status…whatever possible.There more your wife behaves cruel the more u keep records.
Keep a proper watch on how a women can make issues unnecessarily in your life.
Unknown says
December 19, 2017 at 11:14 pmHi,
In my case, my relative’s husband is actually impotent and he also knows it but he and his family torture her mentally saying there is problem in her
Could you please help how to get through this
It’s been 10months since marriage.
He threatening us of by attempting suicide and pointing at her as the reason
Please suggest how to handle situation n get divorced
videv says
December 26, 2017 at 8:49 pmImpotence in husband can be deemed mental cruelty for divorce, and if hidden before marriage can be ground for annulment.
Amit says
March 13, 2018 at 10:19 amFile in court and take divorce ….why to waste time at least she should have not waste het time in 10 months afterall ….subject to hear both sides …
Jai Das says
December 10, 2017 at 3:27 amRespected Sir
I am a married guy and i got married as pr hindu customs & ritual on JUne 2012 it was a arrange marriage, after the marriage i deliver all my responsibilities which a husband bound to do i.e After marriage i sponsor my wife a good career i.e i sponsor and funded her to complete her M.Com and beared all the expenses for the competative exam, i taken her a 2 romantic trip in 4 year of marriage full fill her all petty and major desire what she demanded, but after 4 year of marriage and multiple intercourse between us she left the matrimonial home on Jan 27 2017 by quarreling with me on the day of leaving she called her mother and both left the home with all the gold jewellery and some cash which i kept with her.Now after 4 month of leaving the matrimonial home she file a DV case against me in her hometown stating that i am impotent, whereas she was suffering with some internal problem in her ovary which was getting diagnose in a corporate hospital, after she file DV i got summon in the month of May 17 which i unable to digest in this tenure of filling the DV i tried my best to bring her back but she dont want to come back and literally i tried to find out the cause of sudden change in the behaviour and come to know that she was much interested in extra marital affairs which was discover in the college where she was working a professor and this Job she got with the assiatance of mine and there the Principal and staff know about my wife character and this was also discover in her Mobile phone where there are few pics with a boy in restaurant and some objection SMs from the Boy and exhange of phone calls between both of them. Now as part of court procedding the court suggested for district court conunselling center where we have 2 different session of counselling but in both the couselling she is not ready to come with me hence in the 2nd counselling i shown that pics and messages to the counselling officer, to hide my wife ugly and dirty face she filled a DV against me and to settle this case she and her parents demanding 10 lacs from me which i dont have to give. Please suggest what will be the court view on this case
videv says
December 19, 2017 at 1:32 pmCourt will take whatever view but you have to be clear about your stand about taking wife back. If you tell court you are willing to take her back, then her past behaviour will get condoned by you and you may be unable to raise objection again on that. Basically, the system is very strict on husbands, you can’t make decisions based on emotions and then hope someone will give sympathy or consideration based on that.
Arun says
September 22, 2017 at 3:00 pmAre all indian women so morally corrupt?What are the chances that I’d end up with an abusive wife?What can undo to avoid ending up in such embarrassing situations esp when such false allegations are levelled against me?
videv says
September 30, 2017 at 5:05 pmIf you are not impotent, then don’t be embarrassed and maybe suggest your wife must be nymphomaniac whose sexual lust can’t be satisfied by any normal man 😀
Manish prasad says
March 13, 2017 at 10:07 amHi, my wife and me both are govt job holders .my marriage was happened in April 2016. After marriage ,approx 20-25 days we were live together ,that also in break wise manner ,means 5 days th8s month ,5 days may month later.
In the month of nov 2016, she message me that I have impotency. She has continued quarrel on this ,two times I have shown to doctor and result has not shown any impotency .
Actually when we live together ,my wife was never intimated towards sex .every time I insists and she told diffrent cause such as hot weather conditions etc . Even many times I have quarrel on bed .
Now she and her family is straightway blaming on me impotency ,,and want mutual divorce ,but she and her family rumored about me that I have impotency etc. I have strongly oppose the mutual concern divorce unless she and her family member not given any written maafi nama to me that her allegation is totally fault and baseless ,we r not concerned with divorce . Also she has not come to my home from nov 2016 to till date.
Any thing else we can do ?pls guide
videv says
March 13, 2017 at 10:59 amThis is a technique being used by many women these days that they will create hurdles in way of consummation of marriage, and later blame husband to be impotent when in fact there is nothing like that.
You have to stick to your stand. One could even file divorce citing a false allegation of impotence as cruelty (better have written evidence of this) but that is left to individual. Most people don’t have patience or understanding of how courts work so only filing case is not enough.
Sons says
July 24, 2016 at 10:39 amVivek- Many thanks for your great article on impotency.
Wife and MIL has threatened a Impotency case and left home
While I am preparing to fight my case and will take that route I do not have intentions of divorce / marrying again for same reason stated above
My question is can I adopt a child (boy and girl) and work on their upbringing myself while wife is working on filing cases?
What kind of consequences it might have?
videv says
July 24, 2016 at 1:29 pmI doubt that has any consequence on any case they may file… but on the other hand, for adoption process, they will definitely want to check your married status and if you say separated etc, it may be taken as a negative; because 2 parents are considered best for an adopted child, and in separated status, you neither have a wife (who is actually fighting you) to help with child, nor do you have legal freedom to marry again; so it is worse than being unmarried in my opinion.
As another point, for a single father to adopt is quite rare in India so far, and anecdotally I know it is discouraged.
Abhinav Kashiv says
July 10, 2016 at 12:54 pmHi videv,
thanks for valuable article..the similar situation I am facing right now…since 5 months my wife is leaving separately and completely stopped communicating with me and my parents..after 3 years of marriage she and her parents have an allegation on me regarding impotency..Even in many occasions we had intercourse..my wife is saying that there was no penial intercourse..
could you give any good advise what on the matter…
videv says
July 10, 2016 at 1:25 pmImpotence is a very serious allegation if false… You can read my divorce book for more details on false allegations as mental cruelty. The only problem is people are unable to work through a proper case, manage lawyer, handle the court system, have patience; so we in general don’t advice husband to file divorce.
If there is public defamation, then it’s even more serious ground of mental cruelty.
GW says
February 9, 2016 at 2:53 pmHello,
1)I Filed Divorce first On basis of Cruelty after 1 yr(she stayed with me only for 6 month)of marriage.
(She Defame me on social network stating that i am IMPOTENT also spread the same rumor in society )She did this because i came to know that she has boyfriend and she use to talk with him hours and hours..
2)After that She files DV on me main allegation was i am IMPOTENT .
3)NOW she files RCR i.e section 9 as respond to Divorce case ..
What should Be my next Step ?
videv says
February 9, 2016 at 3:01 pmYou can read my book on divorce… in any case we are not here to advise how to get divorce… Because if we do, there may be a long queue of ‘victims’ ‘needing’ divorce from cruel wives then, and even if they may deserve relief; they won’t do anything for men’s rights but may do financial settlement on first opportunity to get their divorce. Which actually nourishes the divorce industry.
Rj says
January 27, 2016 at 10:56 pmHello,
Thaks for this article.You have mentioned about potency test in family court. Can you please tell what happens when impotency allegation is made in a DV case?
videv says
February 1, 2016 at 11:32 pmWhat may or may not happen varies from case to case… I have tried to outline things one should not do; like getting a potency certificate etc, that only shows one’s desperation and hurry, whereas the allegation is made more as a tactic to scare, intimidate, insult etc.
If one is actually impotent and wife’s allegation is correct, then it could be a different matter.
Actually husband has a strong case to file and get divorce based on mental cruelty for such an allegation, but how many have the patience or brains to stick to the straight path?
sai says
November 11, 2015 at 6:41 pmSir,
Thanks for replying.
I was a member in MRI Whatsapp group. But I last my membership for advising one of fellow members to consult a good lawyer. My intension was to help him/others as much as possible and I did not had the intention of breaking any one of persons or policies. But the group’s admin took it in other way and suspended my membership.
If you can reinstate my membership, I will be greatful to you sir.
My WhatsApp number 9247827832.
With regards
Sai.
videv says
November 12, 2015 at 11:29 amGroup admin’s decision is respected. If you want to rejoin, you can follow the process once again.
sai says
July 28, 2015 at 5:39 pmSir,
First of all, how do you write precisely, your writings make me surprise how do you know what we are feeling or what’s happening to us with that much accuracy. Hats off sir.
Sir, during the counselling at police station at I was forced to commit and undergo impotency test because of compromising and soft nature of my parents. Even though 30 days have been passed since the positive outcome of the test, they have not withdrawn the complaint and asking us to come for fulfilling their fresh set of unnatural demands like deserting my mother etc. My mother is saying “Sai, I am ready to go outside for your bright future”. Why my mother does not understand my wife’s/her parents crookedness. I am unable to draw support from my own family members; is it out of fear or concern about my future?
videv says
July 29, 2015 at 8:33 pmIt is not necessary that parents may always be able to support, sometimes they can be source of confusion too. Your mother’s approach is an oftentime attitude taken by a parent that let me not be the cause of issue between my son and DIL. Even Somnath Bharti’s mother took same position recently on DV case filed against her son. It’s an emotional response, but not suitable for dealing with wives like yours.
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