Allegation in false cases by wives that “my husband is impotent” is not a new weapon, but it seems to be getting very common these days. So I thought to write a post solely on this topic.
Typically this allegation will be made in a petition filed under DV Act (domestic violence) by wife. But it is very much possible that such an allegation may be made under CrPC 125 or even IPC 498A. Because usually when the 498A/DV women start to think what to file in complaint, they are ‘ably’ assisted by ‘learned’ lawyers (read any online lawyers forum) who ‘advise’ them to file complaint under so and so section, and so on.
If you are the respondent husband or accused with such allegation made against you, the whole strategy has to be completely changed from here on.
Medical definition of impotence
Impotence, often called erectile dysfunction, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection long enough to engage in sexual intercourse.
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Definition of erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection long enough to engage in sexual intercourse.
So let’s move on. I have clearly articulated my stance against any so called compromise to bring back wife when a legal case gets filed against a husband. The reasons are also outlined in various important posts on this site. Only in case of maybe a CrPC 125 without serious allegations, a compromise may be attempted, but I am saying it only as an exception for those with great urge to try to give marriage one more chance. In practical experience any future rapprochement with stable marriage has not been seen from cases seen by MRAs. Also, in many cases after such a ‘compromise’, the couple has a child and once the wife leaves after having the child, the husband basically become responsible in some way for having made a bad decision for the child too! Not to mention his legal position becomes that much more complex all for the ‘crime’ of having given wife a second chance.
Actually, when wife alleged impotence on husband which is not true, she is signalling to him that she doesn’t want to come back under any scenario. Also, such an allegation would have been made as a joint decision of her parents and family members, and looking at gravity of the allegation, they are all in acting in unison to destroy your reputation and possibly your future marriage prospects if you don’t handle it well. So many husbands think that my wife is being misled by her parents, they don’t want to acknowledge that she has decided who she wants to be led by, and it’s not her husband!
Following things need to be done whenever faced with allegation of impotence:
- Of course deny it completely in your written statement/objection to her main petition. Do not listen to lawyer that we will do some mediation or some such BS. How will mediation remove this allegation against you?
- There is no need to go for any potency test or such thing at time of filing objection. That is a matter of husband’s evidence or wife’s cross-exam and that stage comes much later after wife’s evidence is over. Count maybe 2 years and more for family court cases.
- If wife has made this allegation in any open forum, social media like Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp etc and it has spread all around, then you may have to seriously consider filing defamation and damages at some point of time. If it is on an online forum, then you could use Information Technology Act Sec 66A to proceed against wife too. Because such an allegation could destroy your future chances of marriage, and even if one doesn’t want to remarry, such an allegation can’t be left to disappear on its own with passage of time. There are many such cases and one of them is here: Wife to pay 2 lakh damages for alleging husband was impotent
- Do not entertain any other ‘offer’ of compromise, financial settlement, mutual consent divorce because even if you accept it, the word may leak out that your first marriage broke because of impotence. Try proving people wrong once they have made opinion about you based on ‘reliable’ grapevine! The second marriage if done might also be doomed, because only old-digger type of women are usually ‘attracted’ to men who got out of first marriage with some kind of ‘impotence’ tag lying in a document somewhere.
- Make it as a major point during any ‘mediation’ proceedings that it is you the husband/respondent/accused who needs to be compensated to a sum of Rs 10 Crore because such an allegation is made against you. Of course this will never happen but the point is that you shift the focus on their false allegation before they try to stick the usual false DV allegations against you.
- Update 10/05/2019: In the final analysis, such female will not come back or if she does it will be short-lived before fresh allegations/cases filed on husband because she has no respect for husband or for sanctity of a relationship. Those who do don’t make such seriously defamatory false allegations. So the marriage is effectively doomed once a false allegation of impotence is made about husband. Though this site doesn’t advise on how to get divorce, it is pertinent to note that false allegation of impotence can be one of the easier ways to prove mental cruelty on husband whereby divorce can be granted. In such cases, filing divorce might be actually advisable because not filing will later lead to suspicion about husband that if he was indeed not impotent, then why is he not filing divorce and only trying to fight the false cases? That has been the usual advice by MRAs which is still correct as regards to fighting vigorously the false allegations, but it’s becoming outdated with regards to the part about husband not ever filing divorce no matter how good grounds and evidence. One reason for that advice was the problem of dealing with an additional demand of maintenance under HMA 24, so one has to weigh that against the possibility of using this divorce case to get a quicker settlement with zero alimony – which is very much in line with the “fight for what’s right” and “fight for results” methodology of this site.
As regards other parts of petition like maintenance demand, read the other posts about maintenance under CrPC 125 and DV Act and HMA 24.