This blog gets a reasonable number of hits everyday. The main goal of the blog is clearly mentioned, both in its name, and in description. However it is quite likely that some of the visitors are women who have wandered over here and have filed a complaint against husband/in-laws/relatives/children/pet dog, or intend to do so. This post is specifically meant for them.
Firstly, IPC 498a was made to protect a woman from injury to life or limb, or mental harassment to the extent to drive her to suicide. All problems in marital life do not attract 498a, to the extent made clear in this SC judgment too.
Act 1, Scene 1 of marriage: Control your husband completely
Q: I want him to stay away from his parents and take a separate house, but he will not listen.
A: Maybe you do not realize that we are not living in a western country, where it is normal for individuals to live their own lives, and parents to live separately from children. Be sure that this is the same result you want from your brothers, i.e., they too should abandon parents or their wives should file 498a on them and surprise!!!, you may also get included as an accused, being relative of a husband. Or you firmly believe that when your children grow up, they are also entitled to ask you and your husband to move out since you are such a drag on their lives. Children learn from parents — what goes around, comes around.
Q: But I need to teach a lesson to my husband, his parents etc. etc..
A: You will definitely be able to teach him a lesson but it may be different from the lesson you wanted him to learn 🙂 A sure separation/divorce is guaranteed in every 498a case. I know some women are rejoicing already on reading this that they can get the divorce they want by filing 498a complaint. But thanks to MRAs (also credit is due to Indian judiciary), the path to that divorce will be very, very long and paved with thorns! Be very clear if that is what you want by misusing law meant to protect women in desperate situation.
Let’s look at what kinds of lessons 498a/DV women want husbands and in-laws to learn and what actually happens.
Assumption: Husband and in-laws will fall at woman’s feet. He will learn to become like a loyal dog to his beloved queen of a wife.
Reality: He will run away and stay as far from you as possible. Since we are using doggy analogies, he will become more of a barking and sometimes biting dog.
Assumption: He will sign on whatever conditions we want him to sign, and take me back to house, throw out his parents; maybe even agree to stay in my parents house. Hurrah!
Reality: He will lose his ability to sign on any kind of document put forth by wife/in-laws for next few years. At any moment such a document is produced before him, his hands and fingers will develop a paralysis which will be automagically cured once that document is taken away from him!
A dog’s (husband’s) life?
Judgment by The Supreme Court of (Men Rights) India: Hereby it is ordered that any unreasonable demands made by wives on their husbands such as depicted in above picture will be deemed as extreme cruelty towards husbands, entitling them to immediate divorce without alimony to wives.
Divorce and 498a
Q: I want to get a divorce and will not get one easily, so filing 498a may help me to get divorce.
A: Did it ever occur to you that laws are made in a democratic country by their elected representatives, and you are also responsible for the laws by having elected (or not voted) the lawmakers? Taking an illegal shortcut to achieve your ends may work in short term, but it may also give unintended results you did not hope for. For example, if you want to remarry after divorce, you may find out that many divorcee men do not want to marry ex-498a wives, since they fear they and their families could get hit by 498a by you after marriage. Be careful what you wish for.
On the other hand, many men have also learnt the techniques on how to survive false 498a cases, this blog is just one effort to help them fight injustice. So if you hoped for a quick divorce and fat alimony, but instead found out to be hanging around in courts with no divorce in sight, then that option of mutual consent divorce which you forego will seem like such a great idea! Alas, 498a is non-compoundable in most states, so now you got stuck.
Finally, following is official advice of Hyderabad police (later the same webpage was moved to Cyberabad police website, thanks to a reader for pointing it out) for women who want to file 498a. See if something is applicable for your case:
Assumption: He will agree to sign a mutual divorce within a few days to get rid of 498a case, hand over xx lakhs lumpsum, OR/AND one plot or apartment to my/kid’s name; and next agenda will be my world tour.
Reality: He will approach MRAs, get counselled not to sign on divorce until all cases including 498a are settled and withdrawn to his satisfaction, develop a hope and fighting approach, and you will be spending next few years of your life cursing the day you decided to file 498a!
How to become empowered woman using DV Act
Q: My husband does not listen to me, I want to file for maintenance under CrPC 125, DV Act (PWDVA) etc. because I am entitled to that as a wife. I will stay separately and enjoy the maintenance every month without having to work.
A: Surely you have been advised by some well-wishers, maybe even lawyers you approached. It reminds me of the saying: “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”. Did they not tell you that to file under DV Act, you have to allege domestic violence, so they will give you some cookie-cutter template to insert into your petition to allege things like: “I was not given food”, “I was thrown out in middle of night”, “I was locked in the bathroom by my mother-in-law”, and so on.
If any of these things are true or something similarly bad was done to you, then and then only you are eligible to file complaint under DV Act. If husband and his family have proofs otherwise, you may get nothing. Even if they are unable to prove, but you are unable to prove either, you may get a token maintenance. Did you intend to live next 30-40 years living like that? If you get remarried, then maintenance will also end. If you are capable of working, you could have a career, and earn lot more while doing something useful. But your advisers will not let you see that, they want you to believe you could get all the golden eggs by killing the hen right away. Option of filing maintenance should be used only if you cannot earn, and cannot live with husband due to his fault.
There is also a misconception being propagated that DV Act is more civil in nature, unlike 498a. Definitely DV Act is not part of IPC and also it is not part of criminal law. So the grapevine being propagated among empowered sisterhood is you can use DV Act to get maintenance from husband, and still continue to enjoy the status of being married (on paper at least). The problem is that you have to allege domestic violence under DV complaint, and if allegations are false, then your husband and his relatives will never trust you again in their life. A DV complaint is also a route to final divorce, just like 498a. If anyone says otherwise including your lawyer, ask them how many cases they have handled where woman and man are living happily in marriage after DV complaint was filed?
Read this post by another woman, who is happily re-married for 14 years now after becoming widow, but wants to file DV case on previous in-laws.
can a widow who remarried and is living happily with her new husband with whom she has kids, can file case under D V act on her previous father in law and mother in law ,after 11 yrs of her remarriage .her first hubby died in 1993 and she got remarried in 1996, whats her locus standi
Even though she says she is living happily, probably she is not happy enough, so her ‘advisers’ will try to make her happier, but these advisers will stick around with you only so long as the going is good. And you will get dropped like a hot stone as soon as they realize that you are not going to bring much moolah for anyone.
Here is a public legal notice by a mother against her own daughter, who probably filed false complaint against her husband and got divorce. When you misuse law, you break the trust of many people, including your own blood relatives, so don’t be surprised at the results.
Update December 14, 2015: Another gem of reality confession found from a DV-filer-now-unhappily-divorced-woman on this public post:
Life of woman after DV, maintenance, 498a etc
Assumption: Husband and his family will fall at my feet within a few days of us filing 498a on them.
Reality: With more and more people fighting it out instead of succumbing by taking guidance of MRAs all over India, the chance of any accused husband to fall at their wives’ feet are close to 0 these days.
Assumption: Since I have asked under DV Act for 5 lakh compensation and 75,000 p.m maintenance; the judge will give at least 2 lakh compensation and 25,000 p.m maintenance.
Reality: Instead of judge applying a discount on your asked for figures and awarding maintenance blindly, he actually asked for husband’s income after expenses and couple’s living status at time of your grand exit. Instead of your husband slogging it out at work to support maintenance demands of his beloved wife; he seems to have left his job and now is content spending time running around in courts with primary mission in life to defeat your maintenance cases 🙂
Assumption: We are women, if we say anything against husband and in-laws and let roll down a few tears down our cheeks, the police, CAW cell, judges will believe us and give us what we want. Go girl power!
Reality: Police, CAW cell have seen it thousand times before, and if at all they are going along with your story it’s nothing to do with your story or fine acting skills; just that they themselves are corrupt like you and want to make a quick buck if possible. Judges are also getting tired of these cookie cutter stories in DV complaints where every day new complaints arrive with healthy looking women complaining about having been denied food and starving in husbands’ homes. If they are awarding interim maintenance, it is simply because as per law and trendy theme of women empowerment they are supposed to give some relief. But that relief will be nowhere near the lottery figures you were imagining to get!
So, do you feel you were cheated by that TV serial episode where one woman got 20 lakh through divorce? And it seems you can’t even see the sight of mere 20,000. Now you want to poison the producer of that TV serial.
Do you feel your lawyer misguided you saying we will file 498a and get maintenance, and now you realize 498a case is different from maintenance case. And all he has done is got a permanent customer in you providing him with assured fees in multiple cases? 🙂
Were you under the impression that simply by getting married you will get entitled to husband’s full property, or even half of his/in-laws property; and lawyers, police, courts will help you get that within few weeks by filing cases?