This blog gets a reasonable number of hits everyday. The main goal of the blog is clearly mentioned, both in its name, and in description. However it is quite likely that some of the visitors are women who have wandered over here and have filed a complaint against husband/in-laws/relatives/children/pet dog, or intend to do so. This post is specifically meant for them.
Firstly, IPC 498a was made to protect a woman from injury to life or limb, or mental harassment to the extent to drive her to suicide. All problems in marital life do not attract 498a, to the extent made clear in this SC judgment too.
Act 1, Scene 1 of marriage: Control your husband completely
Q: I want him to stay away from his parents and take a separate house, but he will not listen.
A: Maybe you do not realize that we are not living in a western country, where it is normal for individuals to live their own lives, and parents to live separately from children. Be sure that this is the same result you want from your brothers, i.e., they too should abandon parents or their wives should file 498a on them and surprise!!!, you may also get included as an accused, being relative of a husband. Or you firmly believe that when your children grow up, they are also entitled to ask you and your husband to move out since you are such a drag on their lives. Children learn from parents — what goes around, comes around.
Q: But I need to teach a lesson to my husband, his parents etc. etc..
A: You will definitely be able to teach him a lesson but it may be different from the lesson you wanted him to learn 🙂 A sure separation/divorce is guaranteed in every 498a case. I know some women are rejoicing already on reading this that they can get the divorce they want by filing 498a complaint. But thanks to MRAs (also credit is due to Indian judiciary), the path to that divorce will be very, very long and paved with thorns! Be very clear if that is what you want by misusing law meant to protect women in desperate situation.
Let’s look at what kinds of lessons 498a/DV women want husbands and in-laws to learn and what actually happens.
Assumption: Husband and in-laws will fall at woman’s feet. He will learn to become like a loyal dog to his beloved queen of a wife.
Reality: He will run away and stay as far from you as possible. Since we are using doggy analogies, he will become more of a barking and sometimes biting dog.
Assumption: He will sign on whatever conditions we want him to sign, and take me back to house, throw out his parents; maybe even agree to stay in my parents house. Hurrah!
Reality: He will lose his ability to sign on any kind of document put forth by wife/in-laws for next few years. At any moment such a document is produced before him, his hands and fingers will develop a paralysis which will be automagically cured once that document is taken away from him!
A dog’s (husband’s) life?
Judgment by The Supreme Court of (Men Rights) India: Hereby it is ordered that any unreasonable demands made by wives on their husbands such as depicted in above picture will be deemed as extreme cruelty towards husbands, entitling them to immediate divorce without alimony to wives.
Divorce and 498a
Q: I want to get a divorce and will not get one easily, so filing 498a may help me to get divorce.
A: Did it ever occur to you that laws are made in a democratic country by their elected representatives, and you are also responsible for the laws by having elected (or not voted) the lawmakers? Taking an illegal shortcut to achieve your ends may work in short term, but it may also give unintended results you did not hope for. For example, if you want to remarry after divorce, you may find out that many divorcee men do not want to marry ex-498a wives, since they fear they and their families could get hit by 498a by you after marriage. Be careful what you wish for.
On the other hand, many men have also learnt the techniques on how to survive false 498a cases, this blog is just one effort to help them fight injustice. So if you hoped for a quick divorce and fat alimony, but instead found out to be hanging around in courts with no divorce in sight, then that option of mutual consent divorce which you forego will seem like such a great idea! Alas, 498a is non-compoundable in most states, so now you got stuck.
Finally, following is official advice of Hyderabad police for women who want to file 498a. See if something is applicable for your case:
http://www.hyderabadpolice.gov.in/WomenCorner/498A.htm
Assumption: He will agree to sign a mutual divorce within a few days to get rid of 498a case, hand over xx lakhs lumpsum, OR/AND one plot or apartment to my/kid’s name; and next agenda will be my world tour.
Reality: He will approach MRAs, get counselled not to sign on divorce until all cases including 498a are settled and withdrawn to his satisfaction, develop a hope and fighting approach, and you will be spending next few years of your life cursing the day you decided to file 498a!
How to become empowered woman using DV Act
Q: My husband does not listen to me, I want to file for maintenance under CrPC 125, DV Act (PWDVA) etc. because I am entitled to that as a wife. I will stay separately and enjoy the maintenance every month without having to work.
A: Surely you have been advised by some well-wishers, maybe even lawyers you approached. It reminds me of the saying: “With friends like these, who needs enemies?”. Did they not tell you that to file under DV Act, you have to allege domestic violence, so they will give you some cookie-cutter template to insert into your petition to allege things like: “I was not given food”, “I was thrown out in middle of night”, “I was locked in the bathroom by my mother-in-law”, and so on.
Read my maintenance book (DV and CrPC 125) if you want to save HARD EARNED money. Use coupon code MenToo to get 52% discount and help it win Sales Contest to promote #MenToo awareness. (Kindle eBook version) (Print Paperback version)
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If any of these things are true or something similarly bad was done to you, then and then only you are eligible to file complaint under DV Act. If husband and his family have proofs otherwise, you may get nothing. Even if they are unable to prove, but you are unable to prove either, you may get a token maintenance. Did you intend to live next 30-40 years living like that? If you get remarried, then maintenance will also end. If you are capable of working, you could have a career, and earn lot more while doing something useful. But your advisers will not let you see that, they want you to believe you could get all the golden eggs by killing the hen right away. Option of filing maintenance should be used only if you cannot earn, and cannot live with husband due to his fault.
There is also a misconception being propagated that DV Act is more civil in nature, unlike 498a. Definitely DV Act is not part of IPC and also it is not part of criminal law. So the grapevine being propagated among empowered sisterhood is you can use DV Act to get maintenance from husband, and still continue to enjoy the status of being married (on paper at least). The problem is that you have to allege domestic violence under DV complaint, and if allegations are false, then your husband and his relatives will never trust you again in their life. A DV complaint is also a route to final divorce, just like 498a. If anyone says otherwise including your lawyer, ask them how many cases they have handled where woman and man are living happily in marriage after DV complaint was filed?
Read this post by another woman, who is happily re-married for 14 years now after becoming widow, but wants to file DV case on previous in-laws.
http://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/domestic-voilence-a-new-turn-26194.asp
can a widow who remarried and is living happily with her new husband with whom she has kids, can file case under D V act on her previous father in law and mother in law ,after 11 yrs of her remarriage .her first hubby died in 1993 and she got remarried in 1996, whats her locus standi
pl advice
Even though she says she is living happily, probably she is not happy enough, so her ‘advisers’ will try to make her happier, but these advisers will stick around with you only so long as the going is good. And you will get dropped like a hot stone as soon as they realize that you are not going to bring much moolah for anyone.
Here is a public legal notice by a mother against her own daughter, who probably filed false complaint against her husband and got divorce. When you misuse law, you break the trust of many people, including your own blood relatives, so don’t be surprised at the results.
Update December 14, 2015: Another gem of reality confession found from a DV-filer-now-unhappily-divorced-woman on this public post:
https://ipc498a.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/sequence-of-events-in-a-498a-fir/:
woman confession dad forced DV case divorce
Life of woman after DV, maintenance, 498a etc
Assumption: Husband and his family will fall at my feet within a few days of us filing 498a on them.
Reality: With more and more people fighting it out instead of succumbing by taking guidance of MRAs all over India, the chance of any accused husband to fall at their wives’ feet are close to 0 these days.
Assumption: Since I have asked under DV Act for 5 lakh compensation and 75,000 p.m maintenance; the judge will give at least 2 lakh compensation and 25,000 p.m maintenance.
Reality: Instead of judge applying a discount on your asked for figures and awarding maintenance blindly, he actually asked for husband’s income after expenses and couple’s living status at time of your grand exit. Instead of your husband slogging it out at work to support maintenance demands of his beloved wife; he seems to have left his job and now is content spending time running around in courts with primary mission in life to defeat your maintenance cases 🙂
Assumption: We are women, if we say anything against husband and in-laws and let roll down a few tears down our cheeks, the police, CAW cell, judges will believe us and give us what we want. Go girl power!
Reality: Police, CAW cell have seen it thousand times before, and if at all they are going along with your story it’s nothing to do with your story or fine acting skills; just that they themselves are corrupt like you and want to make a quick buck if possible. Judges are also getting tired of these cookie cutter stories in DV complaints where every day new complaints arrive with healthy looking women complaining about having been denied food and starving in husbands’ homes. If they are awarding interim maintenance, it is simply because as per law and trendy theme of women empowerment they are supposed to give some relief. But that relief will be nowhere near the lottery figures you were imagining to get!
So, do you feel you were cheated by that TV serial episode where one woman got 20 lakh through divorce? And it seems you can’t even see the sight of mere 20,000. Now you want to poison the producer of that TV serial.
Do you feel your lawyer misguided you saying we will file 498a and get maintenance, and now you realize 498a case is different from maintenance case. And all he has done is got a permanent customer in you providing him with assured fees in multiple cases? 🙂
Were you under the impression that simply by getting married you will get entitled to husband’s full property, or even half of his/in-laws property; and lawyers, police, courts will help you get that within few weeks by filing cases?
Now hereby I order you to Click on the link below and buy it (from own money, not from maintenance amount) 🙂
Amol Jadhav says
December 15, 2018 at 4:09 pmWell your post had given me some more strength to fight against my wife’s filed cases. Although I was foolish was not learning warning signals (all of them you mentioned are spot on). i have read some of your posts already and I have already done same as you said (like denying settlement/compromise) even before reading them. Luckily I have voice/call records in which she is saying
1. To live separately
2. Demanding property which I have none to come back.
3. Threatening to send kids (Twin girls) to orphanage etc
I hope these records should be enough to prove her wrong.
videv says
December 16, 2018 at 4:20 pmAbout points 1-3:
1. By itself, wife’d demand to live separately is not enough to prove wrong or malafide intentions, unless you have other evidence of her abusive behaviour or bad intentions. She can easily lay the blame on your parents as the reason to asking for separate residence, and most often no one bothers to go into veracity of such statements unless you bring evidence of her abuse to you/parents to court’s notice.
2. Negotiation basically, not enough without other evidence against her.
3. Can be used to show irresponsible, unstable, or threatening behaviour. But only one such recording may be dismissed since it’s easy to paint a picture for a woman not having agency, or that she said it while being emotional etc! If this has happened multiple times, then the right way will be to use it as evidence and argument in child custody (if not with you already). Other evidence will be needed still to make a stronger case.
Kalpana says
August 18, 2018 at 2:54 pmHi, im a 45 year old man married for 15 years. But after 5 years of marriage a son later, my wife walked out of home because of issues with my mom and sister. Mine is a joint family. She went on to live with her parents in the same city. She never returned home though i persistently called her, begged her. She wanted a separate home but I refused to leave my old parents. We are very well off, wife is a big officer too. Though we were living separately, we would meet occasionally, talk. This went on for a few years. Later she restricted me from meeting my son who is now 12 years old.
So i had to shift to her parents home and i lived there for 2 years. She was happy, son was happy though we never really got back as husband and wife. Unfortunately, my dad died and I had to return to my old ailing mom. So i begged my wife to return home as there was no one to trouble her at home. But she refused to come to my home but she kept in touch with me. But meeting my son was banned and i was so terribly hurt as I had no family life.
Last year my son wanted to go a holiday so we even went abroad on a holiday for him. But she later banned me fro meeting my son again though he was missing me. Its been 1 year since i saw or spoke to him. But she keeps talking to me whenever she needs help and I do the same. I still keep requesting to return but she doesnt.
Somewhere after she left, i got into an affair with a married woman who is separated ( not divorced yet) from her hubby. I really loved her and was in full fledged affair without the knowledge of my wife. I know its cheating but then I had no physical, emotional relationship with my wife since she left. I kept begging her to come home in the hope of starting a new life but she never did so I continued my affair with the woman i loved. Now suddenly my wife came to know of the affair, got hold of all mails and pics my lover and I exchanged and now threatening me for a divorce.I dont want to give her divorce as i really want to try a new life with her. But she is very furious that she was kept in dark for 5 years of affair. I dont know what to do and convince her not to give divorce. I tried to tell her that we should start a new life but she is very angry after knowing the intimate details of my affair and is refusing to excuse me.
dont think she will come for counselling. She doesnt let me meet my son for months and years unless there is a need like marriage, functions.
He cries for me but she doesnt let him see me.
Surprisingly, she talks/chats with me and we went on a holiday to Dubai 2 years ago as my son cried for it.
I still help her with issues and she does the same. But she refuses to live with me.
I can go and live with her but how can i leave my ailing mom and go lie with her parents? I still did for 2 years till my dad died.
Now she is hurt about the affair or her ego is hurt because she couldnt accept that a man who begs her to return home is actually in an affair?
Im also confused with what she wants
She threatens me with divorce every time we have a fight but then she never went ahead. We reconciled everytime but then we dont meet for months. That is not my decision but it is her decision.
Is it possible that she just wants me as a social status symbol?
If she cares about our son, why cant she adjust and live in my house with me?
Im not an alcoholic, not a wife-beater, i love her very much. The affair happened but still Im ready to stop everything for wife and restart.
What do you think she will do now?
Will she go ahead with divorce this time because she has proofs of adultry?
WHat are my chances of avoiding a divorce.
videv says
August 18, 2018 at 5:41 pmThe question of avoiding divorce comes only if she files for one. It seems unlikely.
>>Is it possible that she just wants me as a social status symbol?
>> Its been 1 year since i saw or spoke to him. But she keeps talking to me whenever she needs help and I do the same.
Possible she will keep husband as a name, since there are some women with that mindset once they have a child. They won’t give divorce but don’t want to stay with husband either. The fact that she was not too terrible as long you stayed at her parents house suggests that they are into ghar-jamai mode of married life. At the same time it seems marriage was already dead and for sake of son it’s been going on. Not allowing to meet or talk to son but at the same time taking help from husband means she’s manipulating.
Her behaviour is not really beyond reproach either. Emotional affair is not adultery but if she can prove sexual intercourse (strong circumstantial evidence because direct proof is rare) then legally her case for getting a divorce is strong but that is predicting the future.
You can apply for shared custody of child by filing petition in family court. I doubt she will come back, so hoping for it to happen may not work, by filing custody case you can at least be a part of your son’s life. If she tries to expose your affair then you can also expose her bad behaviour (it’s unavoidable in legal cases). Court may excuse it since it’s about welfare of child rather than about husband and wife.
Kalpana says
August 18, 2018 at 6:06 pmThank you so much for the prompt response.
She has some pictures of me and my affair partner. She is continuously asking me to confess to the affair on whats app but im scared that she may be saving them for evidence. She may not too. I dont know.
She left home 8 years ago and I saw her last in may 2017. we are in touch with each other on messages where I beg her to return home every 15 days for the past 8 years. But she is adamant that she wont.
So can she say in court that we had no physical or emotional attachment ( financial too) so needs a divorce?
Its been 20 days since the affair has come out. She is furious and asking me to go back to my affair partner and confess my sins.
From her side, she is not taking any action regarding divorce.
I dont want to confess to her now after all the trauma she caused and i dont even know if there is any chance of reconciliation in this marriage. I am very tired to put in any more efforts too.
I am also not sure if I go and live with her NOW after all this, she will allow me, her parents will allow me? My mom is 80 plus and living alone with me so I cant go and live with her but should I put her in old age home and go and settle in my in laws house to save this marriage which is anyway non existent?
MY VERY BIG DOUBT IS – When she left my home and dint have any physical or emotional contact with me why is she so heart broken of my affair? She could live without me for so long so why now suddenly involve in my life?
I havent met her since the affair came out, im very scared, ashamed too( to face my kid).
What would happen? Can you foresee? Have you ever come across any case where wife and husband live apart in the same city for 8 years with hardly any contact and all this happens and only husband is to be blamed?
Kumar says
August 18, 2018 at 6:42 pmI want to avoid filing any case against her to get my son back.
If she wants me as a ghar jamai, will she allow me now in her house after reading all the emails and pics that she saw with my affair partner ( 5 years of affair) ?
how Can I go and live there leaving my 75 year old ailing mom alone / keeping in old age home?
Will she let me live with my son after all this?
and why is she so furious with my affair?
She never was physical/emotional with me for 8 years and doesnt want to live with me in my house so why is she even bothered about my affair?
she didnot go ahead and file for a divorce even after 20 days of affair coming out can i assume that she wont?
she keeps forcing me to confess to the affair but i dont want to. When she already saw all prrofs why does she want me to confess again on whats app?
Can you please guess ( from your experiences of cases like this) what will happen in such cases? Have you come across any such case where a couple stays apart for years and husband cant access the kid whenever he wants?
videv says
August 19, 2018 at 2:21 pm>>She never was physical/emotional with me for 8 years and doesnt want to live with me in my house so why is she even bothered about my affair?
Maybe bcoz you have been keeping up your part of drama by sending message to come back every 15 days! And having affair on the side anyway while doing that. Was this some smart lawyer’s advice or you thought of this on your own?
>>I want to avoid filing any case against her to get my son back.
If history is any guide, I doubt you will be seeing your son in any meaningful way. He may even be alienated against you.
No more questions will be taken. This forum is to help genuine seekers.
Imon Mukherjee says
March 13, 2018 at 9:00 pmSir
I am married since last 3 years after 1 year of courtship.Dont have kids.me and my wife both are working.we started having common problems that happens between many couples.But they gradually grew up with time regarding different issues.To teach me a lesson my wife aborted our child twice and second time without my knowledge and concent.1st year of marriage we stayed together at our house.2nd year she left our home on adjustment ground and started staying separately and asked me to stay with her which initially I could not do for my dependant parents but later I went to stay with her but was asked to leave due to silly reasons.i tried many times to bring her back home but she refused.3rd year she got transferred to other state.Now she is forcing me to give her divorce mutually.Ive been making many attempts to save our marriage by approaching her in as many ways as possible.even my in-laws are also trying to make her understand but she’s adament with her decision.She has threatened me by saying that if I don’t agree in mutual divorce she will file 498a against me and my family and if required she will place false allegations.we are worried about social prestige.But at the same time both the families including me wants to save our marriage.But only my wife is not getting convinced.Request you to guide us on how to handle this situation.What should I do if my wife takes the steps that she has threatened to do.
videv says
March 16, 2018 at 7:10 am>>She has threatened me by saying that if I don’t agree in mutual divorce she will file 498a against me and my family
Get proof of this like messages/audio recording etc.
Above is basically evidence to tackle her false cases in case she files. More than that law can’t help anyone to make someone stay in marriage. You can try filing RCR Section 9 of HMA if you are bold enough and don’t mind facing 498A on you and family, which is almost a guarantee after filing it. Again, even an RCR decree can’t force spouse to stay with you, at maximum you can get divorce later which doesn’t seem to be the intention here.
Google and read up on antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality types. If your wife fits into those then there may not be not much of a chance of compromise.
videv says
June 23, 2018 at 6:56 pmYour marriage is not going to survive in my opinion – wife acting alone by herself is somewhat rarer but not impossible. Since it was love marriage (so dowry allegations will be incredible), and she’s working, and no kids, you can handle her false cases including maintenance should she file them.
bharathi says
December 31, 2017 at 12:18 amMy husband suppressed the fact of his impotent and married me before 4 yrs. He married me secondly .his first marriage also divorced due to impotency. He hided all facts. Til now marriage not consummated and now he gives so much mental cruelty. Asked me to go to artificial insemination for a child.
Can i file under mental cruelly? Does it come under domestic violence on mental torture ?
videv says
January 1, 2018 at 8:34 pmIt can be both ground for annulment (hiding of fact before marriage) but within 1 year, OR divorce on grounds of mental cruelty due to reason of impotence.
Filing DV case is not going to remove anyone’s impotence, it’s more for lawyers to earn fees from clients.
Narendra says
August 30, 2017 at 4:47 pmi filed divorse case against my wife on mental harassment case. but now she filed IA giving wrong / false statement of my income much higher than my expectation. what should i do. and also she filed that i have taken Rs.200000 as cash as dowry.
videv says
September 1, 2017 at 8:01 pmThe whole website is filled with similar stories. Whether to disclose real salary etc and so on is your choice. Anyway such discussions happens inside the groups, and there is no formula really which when applied will ensure a straightforward victory.
She might as well say she gave 20 lakh as dowry in cash. During cross-exam, such lies can be stripped away.
Puneeta Anand says
August 23, 2017 at 10:01 amI got married in 2015, My husband deserted me few months back and has filed a false divorce case against me. I have to contest the case now. Whichever lawyer i go to suggest me to file DV and 498A. I researched a lot and realised that it’s only for them to make money rather than their client getting any justice. I want to take it up my way but need suggestion before i go ahead with contesting it. Few confusions i have are:-
1. How much time would that take if i reply to his petition with all proofs of false allegations against me.
2. How to save myself from lawyers and their unnecessary consultation demands.
3. The divorce petition says i have been harassing them saying that i will put all the false allegations on you and complaint to the police if they dont follow my unnecessary demands. Whereas i have not filed even a single complaint ever.
4. I have been desrted in a rented apartment, landlord is compelling me to vacate it. I know I am working and earn enough to afford a place on rent for myself. But, as per HMA a woman has a right to residence from husband unless she is divorced. Do I stand up for my right or just back off?
5. Should I file DV in case of desertion?
6. They have claimed in petition that i am mentally unfit to live with them, can this be proved right or wrong in anyway from any of our side?
7. MIL has claimed that i used to physically and verbally harass her, can this be proved by a mere police complaint without any proof?
I am writing it here just because i want to save a man(my husband) and myself from being wrongly guided by lawyers for their own interest. I think in India its mostly the lawyer that brainwashes people and make life miserable for their clients and keep minting money out of their pockets. Men’s rights must stand up for all such lawyers, they sell a 20-50lakhs of rupees dream to a woman client which inturn makes things ugly for that woman and the man both.
videv says
August 23, 2017 at 7:46 pm1. Written Statement/Objection is only first step of case. After that it can take easily 4-5 years or more, though since marriage is relatively short, the number of allegations/counter-allegations can’t be too long like 50 pages, so I am assuming the case cannot stretch much further than 5 years.
2. Ignore them. Draft your responses yourself and don’t let advocate change it to something different. Pay fees in installments only based on progress of case from stage to stage like WS, evidence, cross-exam, final arguments etc.
3. Deny all allegations specifically in your WS including these ones.
4. HMA has only right to ask for maintenance under Section 24 (which may include expenses for rental etc apart from usual living expenses). DV Act is the one which has relief of right to residence. In any case, since it’s a rented place, under DV Act too you may not be able to get residence in same house but asking relief for an equivalent alternative accomodation is possible. The problem is if you file DV case for purpose of asking residence order (or equivalent maintenance etc), usually the lawyers will again start their bamboozle-the-client-mission by adding all other false allegations to make the case ‘strong’. The bottomline is if you are already earning going to court for some more maintenance will be waste of time and lawyer fees, since the end result in terms of maintenance amount even if ordered won’t be worth it. But try telling it to lawyers, as you might have already seen!
5. Only to get reliefs like maintenance etc. DV case should not be filed to get a husband back, the only right case for that is RCR or Section 9 of HMA. Chance of maintenance under DV case is less since you earn yourselves.
6. Onus is on them to prove it, you can just deny.
7. Proofs are always needed, mere complaint can have little value except if not denied strongly by you.
>>Men’s rights must stand up for all such lawyers, they sell a 20-50lakhs of rupees dream to a woman
People are learning up. And interestingly many advocates visit this site too, so they won’t be totally unaware of the men’s rights side of things, but they are also probably getting lazy to do proper work, or scared of what judge will think if they go strictly by law rather than convenient assumption that “law is in favour of woman”. Unless the incentives are taken away, divorce/DV industry will continue to flourish.
Chittaranjan Kar says
June 26, 2017 at 6:48 pmSir,My daughter got married in Dec/15 , Since Jan16 The Husband & in-laws giving mental torture jointly for more dowry although they taken Rs 5,40 000/ + around Rs 50-60 000 in different way.Now they created such situation which compel her to stay separately,they don’t support her and Hiding the new work place of her husband.She filed a D V Case in local Court but not getting satisfied orders ,how & under which law Honorable Magistrate will issue Police warrens or compel them to attend Court personally?
videv says
June 27, 2017 at 5:04 pmCourt can give orders based on evidences produced, whether parties are satisfied or not is a very subjective thing.
Court (in DV case) can’t compel anyone to attend personally for routine hearings.
lavanya says
May 12, 2017 at 7:55 pmhi,
actually i am fed up of seeing in internet like woman are putting dv case for money,she doesnot want my parents and all.i understand that some woman do that but most of the time when a naive girl enters her husband house after marriage she is expected to adjust with the family at the veryfirst instant.In laws start brainwashing their sons by continuously saying that she is not cooking well,not keeping the house in good condition and all unimportant stuff.no girl will object staying with in laws if they give the kind of love she needs when she has left her family and entered a new house.often in laws are mentioned as old aged parents of boy on the contraty they never behave like that and behave like monster in laws they suddenly act like innocents when their son is around.now a days its nuclear families and some families donot have male child what about those parents.a man after divorce can again get the same life back but a woman with children after divorce can never get her life back.she is life long anserable to her children so why canot she ask for some money.this will only be understood if men are made to live with girls parents.initially any girl will take some time to adjust and she needs immense support and sense of security from husband,rather than that they start complaining that u are not taking proper care of my parents.men should get everything from women by love not by force.
videv says
May 21, 2017 at 2:35 pmThis comment needs to be preserved for posterity!
Chitralekha says
April 7, 2019 at 12:43 amWell the blogger repeatdely said after dv or 498a women cannot live happily😂😂😂😂I have seen so many women living happily with their husabands money but never seen any men free minded without tenaion happy life…..whatever ur rights are there men if u want a horrible frustrated life go poke ur wife…after 9 years of abusive marraige I filled DV and my husband harrased me in court by missing dates but every time the judgement came in my favour…I have never seen my husband similling and tension free face…he is always angry and tensed…even his neighbours use to tell me …🤣🤣🤣🤣so I am sharing practical experinece….if u want that life and can handle pls go and harrass ur wife….best of luck men
videv says
April 7, 2019 at 11:34 pmHa ha … the gold digger hasn’t given proof of actual payment from husband, but claims “so many women living happily with their husabands money”. “every time judgment in favour, but money not coming”, that’s the story gold diggers should learn to live with.
“he is always angry and tensed”… as if being husband for 9 years he should now suddenly learn to do BETTER? 😀
ammy says
May 17, 2019 at 2:00 pmthis is true .facing sameissue
A. kumar says
April 1, 2017 at 5:13 pmMy wife flee, without notice on 12/12/2010 from my house after 20years of marrige ,when our son going for HS. She did not contact us any more.she took away all of our ornamentsand cash which got in her hand,though her matrimonial presents not a single pause.she destroyed our one and only son future and also our social prestige, Me any my son lost our all happiness for that selfish.what do next?
videv says
April 1, 2017 at 8:12 pmFrankly, there are no laws which can prevent anyone from destroying their own life. What to do next is very open ended question and we tend to focus on the legal and similar aspects of things. If you say you lost all happiness then you have to admit you were at least happy before that. If you were not happy before that, then there is nothing that could have been lost when wife left, and in fact things should have looked better.
It’s better to come out of self-pity and victimhood attitude.
Mano says
November 30, 2016 at 2:03 pmMy wife and I have been married for 1 year and we donot have kids. Due to some differences between us, she went to her maternal house and has not returned. She is qualified equally and earning equally to me. Now she has wantedly quit her job and filed for a maintainence case against me.nt for divorce but just for maintainence. my salary is just 50k and she wants 30k as alimony. What should I do?
videv says
December 4, 2016 at 2:06 pmYour decision on what to do… but if you decide to fight it out, then you can join the groups (see top right button)
Siva Kumar Reddy says
November 18, 2016 at 2:32 pmHello,
My self Siva from hyderabad and suffering for false 498a and DVC case aganest me and my parents. My problem started on feb 2016 and still going on. as said above issue started as my wife do not want my partners to come hyderabad to see my daughter. She wantedly called my mother and started harresing her with bad words. and then she tried to committed suicide by drinking lizol. Then she files 498 stating me along with my mother harresed her to get extra dowry. Surprising thing is, my self purchased gold of 50 grams to my wife after marriage as a surprise gift to her on the occasion on my marriage anniversary. Later 498 she files DVC aganest me.
More bad is, she occupaid my flat which is located at hyderabad along with her brother and mother and she is not allowing me to see my daughter. Now she filed 4 petitions under DVC stating, she want 30K maintenance, 10 lakhs penalty, to do not take my house hold items, and to continue my emi for flat. Also she tried to blackmail me through out sources elements like, Mahila mandal, MIM party leaders, TDP leaders.
I am fighting at court on these false cases. She is doing job at corporate school and earning around 20K per month. My concern is will she eligible to get interim maintenance? As i heard as she is not doing job she is not eligible to get maintenance. I had her work experience certificate and present working photos as proofs. Also please advise will i go against her to get my house hold articles?
videv says
November 21, 2016 at 8:33 am>> My concern is will she eligible to get interim maintenance?
Only astrologers can answer whether wife gets maintenance and how much, and if one doesn’t reply/give evidence/argue vigorously in courts, maintenance can be awarded even for working wife.
Deny maintenance to wife based on her income and work, share for child based on income.. better to open an account in child’s name separately where funds are pooled and used only for child’s welfare… but lawyers may steer you away from such practical ideas.
>> Also please advise will i go against her to get my house hold articles?
Very tricky in practice… legally and by ownership they are your articles so you have full right to take them, but with white knights everywhere who jump at opportunity to help a damsel in distress it can be risky. They could even make false argument that so and so article is paid for by them.
ARYAN SINGH says
November 2, 2016 at 8:11 pmmy name is ARYAN SINGH and i’m here because my brother is continuously getting blackmailing messages from her wife . My brother is less active on internet that’s why he usually visits a local lawyer every time he wants a suggestion . but i know about these local lawyers ,they only care about money they won’t show the real situation to us . i will be needing your advice but my questions can’t be answered in one comment reply so just tell where can i join the group you were talking about.
p.s – i’m pursuing my engineering in Bangalore, they don’t consider me as a threat to their plan and i really wanna hit them hard .
videv says
November 4, 2016 at 11:18 pmto join groups see green button on top right, and then follow the instructions else request won’t be approved
Rakesh says
September 5, 2016 at 9:01 pmHello Sir,
My wife (Ramya T) has filed false dowry harassment case( 498a) and other cases such as 504,506, 34 against me and my parents on june 29th in Ramurthy nagar police station( in laws residing area). The main reason was I did oblige to separate from my parents. We were now leaving separately from may 27th 2015, as she did not oblige to come to my house and was staying with her parents.We had sent several notices to her regarding this. Her elder sister and brother in law was also staying in same in law house and she wanted to follow her sister foot steps. Her sister guided and supported her in all these misdeeds
Now after more than a year, first we got a notice from family court in July 2016 that my wife has given complaint that we did not allow her into the house and has demanded dowry.
Secondly we received notice from SI of Ramaurthy Nagar Police (Crpc 41C) on 25th August 2016 (thursday) to meet him on 27th August 2016 (Saturday), till now were ignorant of criminal cases filed against us as nothing about the cases mentioned in notice. She has filed the above cases on 29th June 2016.
We came to know about the cases when we got a complaint copy and as per advice of lawyer we applied for anticipatory bail and was told to wait by him to go to police only after getting bail.
Now the main problem is her father (Thimmaiah) who is also a police (ASI – Banaswadi Police station). When we went to police station with bail copy on 3rd September (saturday), we saw her father misusing his authority and interfering in station and guiding local police officials what to do. Even after appearing in front of SI with bail copy and facing interrogation her father instructed the case worker to send another notice to appear on 6th september 2016 at 5 pm.
Now we are falsely accused in both family and criminal court and above that her father is trying everything to get us behind bars. Need your help. The above mentioned things are in brief and will give more details later.
Thanks,
Rakesh
videv says
September 6, 2016 at 10:44 amalready replied via email to join our groups, copying and pasting same thing on multiple online forums won’t solve your problems by itself!
Raghu says
June 20, 2016 at 2:40 amMy wife filed 498a,DV Act,and maintainance case.She is getting final maintance amount and also she has captured my flat under dv act ordered as share house hold. My self and my parents are deprived from my own flat I am agree to pay rent for same or alternative accommodation but trial court restrained me to sell my flat and compell me to live with a women who lodge false criminal case to throw my parent from my own flat. Now I have lodged divorce.can I get my flat back. Please reply @ din.mish@gmail.com.
videv says
June 20, 2016 at 10:12 am>> compell me to live with a women who lodge false criminal case to throw my parent from my own flat.
you made a deal, which didn’t work out, so don’t blame court now…
in theory you can get flat back since you are owner, but it may need lot of patience and anyway court will ask you to pay alimony in lieu of maintenance even if you get divorce; so practically speaking it’s many years of trial ahead.
Heena says
June 11, 2016 at 4:39 amDid you even consider a father or a brother ‘s plight to give dowry or how they struggle to secure a girl’s life? This blog or article is so partial as it totally ignored men folk on the girl’s side and it seems gynophobic.
Some women misuse law but Dowry is the main cause for female foeticide and infanticide which is the national shame and also one of the reasons that our country is on top of the list of unsafest countries in the world for women.Do you understand what it means to be not allowed to exist?
videv says
June 11, 2016 at 7:47 am>>Some women misuse law but Dowry …
Facts: 2 % (1 in 50) conviction rate in IPC 498A based on NCRB data and taking out those cases where conviction in IPC 498A along with IPC 304B (dowry death).
So it’s more like whichever woman files dowry case it’s 49 out of 50 is false or un-proveable case… basically it’s alimony or power negotiation, sanctioned by our courts too. More often I get to see that even major portion of wedding expenses are done by husbands’ family or at least 50%, and there is no ‘dowry’ given (save jewellery to wife, some household gifts which are stridhan of wife rather than dowry for husband family), but these 498A filing women are so shameless they will lie through their teeth to harass husband/his relatives and get more settlement in divorce.
>>Some women misuse law but Dowry main cause for female foeticide and infanticide which is the national shame
what is the actual cause is still not fully known. But dowry being the cause is what MSM and foreign funded NGOs want Indians to believe… they are same who take one rape case into 24 hours coverage and show as if everyone is getting raped in India, even though crime stats including rape are one of lowest in India.
Not my thoughts, but some perspective on dowry etc: yugaparivartan.com/2016/06/04/the-feminist-propaganda-to-paint-dowry-as-anti-women-and-evil/
Also, show me one woman who doesn’t want ‘dowry’ (not to say a lavish or ‘status’ wedding) to go from father to husband, and there are 50 more who want that to happen. It’s not for no reason that ‘billionaire romance’ (whatever happened to poor millionaires now!) is a genre of romance books by itself! Maybe if young girls are given right values that there is no prince charming, much less billionaire waiting for them to lavish attention and resources on them, things might get more balanced. And if they don’t like the idea of doing traditional wives’ role by way of raising kids and household work, then they need to do at least part time paid work to contribute to the household finances, which might even fulfill some of their ‘billionaire man’ dreams
>>Did you even consider a father or a brother ‘s plight to give dowry or how they struggle to secure a girl’s life?
Your own statement shows the belief that a girl’s life is being secured by giving dowry, and it’s a plight for father and brother (evil ‘patriarchy’?) of girl to save for that. So why not the girls get together now and start a campaign to “liberate our fathers and brothers from collecting dowry, we will earn our own living”… they spend time only cribbing, and blaming the ‘patriarchy’ maybe. It will help remove the ‘evil patriarchy’ that much quicker, too.
Phanindra says
June 22, 2016 at 4:09 pmHello videv can I have your number I am facing with a problem with my wife, I didn’t done any mistake, my wife father is police by using his power he showing hell to my family, I need your guidance
videv says
June 22, 2016 at 9:17 pmSuggest to join the groups (see top right)… wife’s father is in police or whatever, doesn’t matter
DEEN DAYAL SHARMA says
May 6, 2016 at 8:24 amThis site is very bad encouraging husband to commit crime against woman openly.
Law was made to protect woman just read every thing is against women.
If she is filing false case there are different remedies under law
please favor women on the subject meant for her safety and protection
videv says
May 6, 2016 at 9:47 amSir, … this site is meant to help men strictly within legal means, if some people think that means it is against women, we are least bothered.
>>please favor women on the subject meant for her safety and protection
Why should women be favoured if constitution itself says equality before law for everyone!
I don’t know if you are married, but just in case a day comes your wife demands the house after your retirement (and part of pension /income of course), or daughter-in-law occupies your only residential house and drives everyone out; will be the day you will remember which site you have to come to!
Roopa says
May 19, 2016 at 11:50 pmCame across this site while searching for information on how to file a DV case as my mother is domestic violence victim.What I gathered after reading some comments and your advice is that justice is rarely done to the real victims be it a woman or man.The law was misused by many woman and thus making their husbands victims and denying their children a happy family with both parents and poisoning their young minds.
On the other hand the real victims(female)of DV rarely use this law as they were concerned and scared of going public with their personal and domestic issues since it will cause shame and ridicule to their parents and the future of their children especially girls will be in jeopardy as no one willingly wants to marry a girl from a divorced family.
videv says
May 20, 2016 at 11:04 amSince the articles are site are meant to address misuse/abuse of women protection laws and about abuse of men’s rights, so they don’t cover the other points of view like women’s rights etc.
>> justice is rarely done to the real victims be it a woman or man
courts and law should be used as a shield against injustice, but in matrimonial, crimes against women, and DV laws it is being used as a weapon to get what predatory females want. Given the underlying theme of feminist empowerment in name of women empowerment, Judges don’t want to proclaim a case as false in their orders, unless it’s of extreme and obviously false/malicious variety.
What we caution women against is trying to get advantage in courts by adding false allegations, which many lawyers may also suggest, but it may go against client later. At that stage, lawyer will wash off his/her hands… after call, client signs the filed petitions/affidavits, not lawyer.
But the fact remains that because of lot of false cases, judicial system which is already burdened will be even more so and will delay justice for all.
chiarg says
April 11, 2016 at 12:07 pmWe are running with DV and Interim case, My wife parallel filed the complaint in Police and in Court . First I was visited CWcell 4 time and get decided that let we live in rented apartment and she will closed all the cases
But she has refused to close the cases and wants to hold for another 6-8 months
I also rejected that offer and move into Court Mediation
Mediation suggested her to visit my rented place and review the situation and if possible take the rented apartment within the current budget
After 5 Session she has refused to come in rented apartment and wants she has right in matrimonial property and only go there only
I have 12 years of marriage
With Two daughters
My father built his property and now he has expired and property with Mother’s name
I am working in MNC-IT company
My wife is also working and having Master in Finance degree
Now she again revoke the complaint in CWcell whereas the case is in progress and we are close to define Interim
I need your help and suggestion
Presently running with DV498A 12,19 and Interim cases
videv says
April 15, 2016 at 1:59 pmFight the cases based on evidence and merits, but since relatively long marriage and children involved, the choices are more limited. You haven’t mentioned anything about who the children are staying with and who is taking care of expenses. What suggestion can anyone give if such important info is not mentioned?
Further guidance is given in groups only.
Rahul Shah says
December 15, 2015 at 3:17 amRelated to my relationship me and my wife have been having a lot of arguments and fights.
Ours was a love marriage. The Mother-in-law did now want the marriage to happen
My Father-in-law (FIL), Mother-in-law (MIL) and sister-in-law (SIL) are the ones who keep telling my wife to keep doing such things that lead or arguments so that she can leave my house as a fight has taken place and she can go and stay with my in-laws
They say you should ask for maids and servants and cooks in the house so that she has no work to do and can rest and boss around (including on me) and live like a princess.
Where as they don’t even have a separate servant at their own place (my in-laws place)
Specially my sister-in-law also asked my wife to flirt with a colleague in her office when she used to stay at my father-in-laws place earlier before the baby was born as she felt it was ok and would divert my wife’s mind and make me show that how I should run behind her so that she does not have an affair
My familys izzat would be at stake if they talk about separation because of this.
My father-in-law thinks that he can get a better guy for my wife once we get separated as she is a working women and he has good contacts in the society.
In-fact I even overheard them saying
“Aaj kal ki ladkiya ko jyada mangna chaiye, ladke logo ko daba ke aur apni jooti pe rakhna chaiye nahi to hume apni izzat aur mange nahi milegi”
These arguments/fight have been going on for the last 6yrs of marriage
and so many times I have gone and convinced and begged my wife to come back
Specially now after my daughter was born. She is now 16-months old as on date.
We (me and my wife) also did go to nearby schools for her admission to school for next year.
I, a father do all sort of things (related to housework, taking care of the baby girl, making her sleep at night (3-4 days in a week), taking care of her, making her eat either snacks, fruits or lunch/dinner at-least once in 2 days, reading books to my baby and spending at-least 2-hours daily
And because of this thinking they have ruined my and my mothers life and our marriage.
All the time we have fights and then she keeps going to my in-laws place and keeps us away from the daughter who is 15-months old as of now
What am I suppose to do?
How can i have the custody of my daughter.
I have already paid the nursery fees of 1lac rupees (for one year) since we had gone for the interview and we got the admission as my daughter was selected
I don’t want my daughter to go through all this and have such thoughts when she grows as an adult.
I’m confused and scared going through the legal battle as it would affect my work or even closing of it with these tensions around.
Please advice what to do keeping the legal aspect in mind
Thank you
videv says
December 17, 2015 at 12:09 pmYou can ask your FIL if he has been kept under his own wife’s chappal, maybe that’s why he wants to continue the ‘tradition’ for son-in-law too. That’s just pimp’s talk, no self-respect there.
You can try for shared parenting option. As of now child is too small, but as she grows up it may be feasible that you and wife have custody for 6 months each, and sharing of holidays etc too. For full custody, you have to prove abuse or gross neglect by mother, which I doubt is the case here.
There is no legal way to get out of these things peacefully, and they are trying to frustrate and won’t let you live in peace because that’s the whole plan that you take action first like filing divorce, and then they negotiate for property/cash settlement especially in name of daughter. That’s why shared custody is great option, unfortunately most men can’t understand it, and they want to try luck/lottery in 2nd marriage after paying up.
Shik says
November 10, 2015 at 12:36 pmI am a woman, and i am very much aware that the website I am leaving a comment on is “MENSRIGHTSINDIA”. I got married 3 years back.I was mentally harassed by the husband’s family (specially mother and an unmarried sister) – I was 24 yrs old and a well educated, working girl at the time of marriage. I was not very well-adept at household work – but never shirked work. I was tormented regularly, all household work from morning to evening (before and after office) was expected out of me, both before leaving for office at 8 AM and after returning at 8 PM. There were 4 working members in the family (husband, sister-in-law, father-in-law and me). Only I had to wake up at 4:30 AM and go back to sleep at ~12 in night to take care of family needs. Husband was not supposed to help me. Moreover, every small mistake in any type of household work used to become a reason for a BIG dispute. Husband convinced me to open a joint account and made me transfer all my salary to it (about 1 lakh monthly), on the promise that he will also contribute equally and we will keep this for future. Just a month or two after marriage – he stopped putting any money into the account. Moreover, with the day to day challenges and a super hectic life, I started staying irritated. Huge differences cropped up between husband and me. Then, starts the phase of domestic violence. To list here just a few incidents – he broke my tooth, caused partial damage to my ear drum, punched me in the eye to make it go bollywood style blue-black. I have now filed a DV case against him – to which he simple filed a reply through his lawyer and didn’t even bother to appear even once (its been ~8 months that I filed the case though). I didn’t file Dowry case as there was no “DOWRY” demand – my parents had spent ~30 lakhs in the marriage at their own will though. Now, my husband is roaming free, uploading party pictures almost on a weekly basis on facebook and I am all shattered – physically, mentally, emotionally – spending sleepless nights. Going by the replies above, the way men are being favored here – without evaluating thigs on a case to case basis – Will you still favour him?
videv says
November 12, 2015 at 11:36 amWe are not favouring men here, but promoting men’s rights and stopping abuse of men because there is real evidence of false cases (see 498A conviction stats and ‘technical’ rape stats out of total rape cases), and lack of any laws whatsoever to protect men, e.g. DV Act which is only for wives.
The flip side is that many women file DV case, get interim maintenance, and then somehow forget that they have filed a case in court and stop appearing.
Only court can pass judgment on any legal case, for us every man is innocent until guilt is proven by trial; and not by pressurizing to arrest husband’s family, keeping child(ren) away from father, threat of high maintenance/harassment using women protection laws.
ammy says
May 17, 2019 at 2:18 pmsame incident
sam says
November 1, 2015 at 7:26 pmSir I have recorded my wife conversation with me by phone.
Where she abused me and my family. Where She tells that she will file complaint against me and my family so that each member of my family will beg to her feet. And so on she also stated that she will make tum San logo ka chappal gisaongi court me…..I have recorded many more conversation where my wife is abusing me and my family…..we are separately living we have daughter…..now I left her and my daughter at a rented flat…..plz suggest how can I get divorce from her….she is not ready to divorce…
pavani says
October 26, 2015 at 12:35 pmHello Sir… I got married last year. Since then, I was being harassed physically & mentally for dowry. We both are engineers. I filed a case against him 3 months back & now my husband has fled to abroad to get rid of all the legal charges against him. His family didnt even respond to the Dv notice which I sent to them & they returned it. Now my husband is trying to get H1B visa… What can I do to drag him to court & stop him going to abroad. Pls help me with your advice.
videv says
October 26, 2015 at 2:05 pmMaybe you didn’t notice the name of this website is “Men Rights India”. Anyway, we don’t turn back genuine askers! 🙂
>>Now my husband is trying to get H1B visa
Interesting, someone has gone abroad already and then trying to get visa! I doubt Indians are that much welcome in foreign lands.
>>What can I do to drag him to court & stop him going to abroad
So you want a poor and jobless husband instead of rich ‘NRI’, who will probably fight your DV and dowry cases tooth and nail when back in India because being jobless and facing cases, nothing else will be more motivating! Anyway if we knew answer to that question, we won’t tell.
RG says
October 29, 2015 at 11:23 pmI am a woman and I do.agree with this misuse of law against men. Coz, it’s clearly essential that laws.made for.women.are not to be used for personal vengeance.
Well in my case I.doubt if women are so.much favoured as it is been.perceived. I left my husband within a month of marriage N filed an interim application asking for divorce within a year of marriage. Clearly this IA took place for exactly a year N became invalid still upgraded to a hmop case. But this guy just turned up once to court and no response again, the judge awaits his.appearance(which I.wonder if.it would ever happen). I did not use any of the above discussed laws for women, to file the case against him and neither made up any allegations against his parents. N I din ask.for maintenance too.
Any idea regarding How long is it gonna take me to get divorce?
videv says
October 30, 2015 at 4:28 pmTo get divorce one should only file divorce so that’s the right thing. Now if he doesn’t appear at all you may get divorce ex-parte but how many hearings the judge may wait depends on judge. Usually no one judge will hurry up in giving divorce.
Time taken for divorce: 2-3 years at lower end. 5-7 years average. Upper limit is unknown, maybe because we Indians believe in next life after death
RG says
October 30, 2015 at 5:02 pmThanks videv!
Your reply about the upper limit just made me laugh.. Hope I don end up waiting like those skeletons in that pic above in need for the divorce, for a period of less than a month in my ex-marital life!! Counting on that lower limit though.
Sumanth Kumar G says
October 30, 2015 at 2:44 amPerfect reply !!!!!
ND says
December 7, 2015 at 12:56 pmWhat a pathetic reply to the women’s first question.
Maybe she meant he went abroad on a tourist visa & now trying to get a work visa – H1?
This is the problem with MRA & our patriarchal society. How many decades have men suffered due to false 498a cases? Not one 1 decade & we alrdy have dozens of MRA brothers working overtime
And how many decades have been women suffering & still suffering – bcoz of MRAs like you – who are ensuring even genuine harassment cases result in women herself being tortured instead of any punishment for such criminals. working women especially do suffer double the problem..neither can punish nor get maintenance – basically any man can marry a working women..treat her the way he wants and abandon her. Hurray!! What an achievement by MRAs.
I do wish real cases happen to MRAs sisters & mothers to see the pain & anguish a women goes thru. Not all women file false cases.
videv says
December 8, 2015 at 3:15 pmI love the education this blog is providing. When feminists come here, they try their usual shaming tactics (not gonna work on us), and then try the thing called ‘feminist logic’, which has nothing to do with logic because logic is a pure ‘Patriarchal’ invention 🙂
So let’s look at a patriarchal and real logical response to contradictions and illogical statements of feminism:
>> Not one 1 decade & we alrdy have dozens of MRA brothers working overtime
Thank you!
>>And how many decades have been women suffering & still suffering
That’s feminist bullshit… only women suffering, undergoing through centuries of oppression booo hoooo…. boo hooo.
>>working women especially do suffer double the problem..neither can punish nor get maintenance
Here we come to the real definition of ‘feminist equality’ which has nothing to do with equality but getting usual cry-baby special privileges. Even if a man is jobless, he should pay maintenance. But even if woman is working, she should still get maintenance. Heads I win, tails you lose. No wonder people are leaving feminism in droves.
>>I do wish real cases happen to MRAs sisters & mothers to see the pain & anguish a women goes thru.
MRAs’ sisters facing problem because of women like you, not from husbands.
>>Not all women file false cases.
Don’t even try NAWALT argument here. If 99% file false cases, above statement will still be true, but it’s meaningless.
MLSHAH says
October 18, 2015 at 8:55 pmwhat will happen to NRI who stays abroad if don’t pay maintenance to wife in India ?
Pl. suggests tactics to delay maintenance and harass wife, bring her condition in begging every time.
videv says
October 24, 2015 at 7:18 amNot following court orders is basically contempt of court and breaking the law. If you are highly agitated by injustice of the maintenance laws, feel free to join the MRAs in amending of such laws. Teaching how to harass or make wife beg is not the reason why this site exists.
Sri Ram N Raju says
October 29, 2015 at 12:38 amawesome site and clear answers…. this victim of 498a false case would like to join hands in this fight
Dilip jain says
October 10, 2015 at 11:33 pmमुझे ये बताइए की भारत में हुए कानून में बदलाव की वजह से
होने वाली परेशानियों से कोई आदमी केसे अपने को सेफ कर सकता हे। भारत में सिर्फ ओरतो के लिए उनकी जिन्दगी के लिए बड़े बड़े कानून बना दिए हे जिसका की कुछ ओरते गलत फायदा उठा अपने पुरे ससुराल पक्ष को मुसीबत में डाल देती हे तो की अपमे से कोई मुझे बताएगा की उस कंडीशन में की करे।।
videv says
October 14, 2015 at 10:39 am1. kaanooni case kaanooni taur par hi lada ja sakta hai. Iske alawa koi chara nahin. Agar kanoon theek nahin to sarkar aur MPs to boliye
2. Doosri shaadi karne se pahle das baar soch len.
Mohamed Azarudeen says
September 9, 2015 at 5:21 pmThis article is the epitome of MRI and sarcasm at its best
suresh says
September 1, 2015 at 2:56 amsuresh
from bangalore
i was looking after my wife good, she is not looking after me ,she tells
less of sex,no smiles ,always tensed,talks less.cant talk ,cant watch tv
cant come out ,always ill & many more from the day of marriage.
according to me i made only one mistake , after 6 months i told her i did not complete my enginerring, i did not take any dowry ,i gave her job in my own small company by paying her 20,000 per month
i now have applied for divorce asking the court to tell her to look after me good,she is not coming to court & also staying with me
what should i do
please guide me
my email id is slvr_rs@yahoo.co.in
Or call me 09972130856
Prashant says
August 20, 2015 at 5:34 pmHi….I am 33 yrs. old from Delhi..syaad aaj iski jarruat nahi hooti agar sab kuth tdhik hota.. meri shaadi ko 4 saal ho gay hai….suru say hum dono ke relations tdhik nahi thaa… meri mother in laws ka interference karna meri family ko ley kar…meri wife ko ley kar meri family bahut disturb thi ghar mey sey daily kutch paysey (money) chori hotey thay…….family mein meri maa, father or hum dono k siva or koi nahi hai….situation din prati din kharab ho rahi thi last year mey rey father expired ho gye wo ek honest father thy. or depression mey unko sudden cardiac attack sey death ho gai..papa ke kutch dino ke baad situation or worst ho gayi…wife apney parents ke pass chaali gayi..last year wife ko beta hua…syaad socha ke situation tdhik ho jaye gee. par abhi tak same situation hai. meri mother sugar or high bp ke patient hai….wife ghar aney ko tyar nahi hai meri job bhi last December sey chooti hai kya karu disturb hu……ek honest husband hooney k baaw jut aaj problem hee problem hai life mein. in-laws alimony ke barey mein sooach rahey hai.. kya karu divorce tak meney keh diya hai kee agar divorce ka vichar hai to tyaar hu par wife jawab nahi deyti………..kya karu..samajh nahi aa raha agar koi mujko advice kar dey kya karu…socha tha papa ke tereh honest man banuga syaad honest person ka yahi haal hota hai…please help me.
Pooja says
August 15, 2015 at 1:35 pmHi.I had filed case in court for dv, however got divorce after mediation on mutual consent. But still my ex husband and his family keep coming home and beg us. He also stalks me on social media, emails. I had gone to police, but they just called him and gave a warning. Still they continue to come here. Is there any way I can take legal actions.
videv says
August 15, 2015 at 7:06 pmStory doesn’t sound credible at all. You will have to ask elsewhere.
Krishna says
June 16, 2015 at 11:29 amI want to know how to get a girl who is actually been harassed and been beaten by her husband, mentally tortured and many things could get her dignity back, what should we do, please help!
videv says
June 18, 2015 at 10:23 amThis post was specifically written for those women who think nothing of using criminal law and false DV allegations to get their ‘deal’ in life.
Now coming to the “actually been harassed” women/girls. I can say with surety that for every single actually been harassed” woman/girl whether complaining of sexual harassment at workplace, rape/sexual assault, violence; if she goes to police/court/women’s organisation/office HR to complain, she will find 9 other women in queue in front of her; who are all there with their fake sob stories, hoping to get their ‘deal’ in life, teach lesson to ex-boyfriend, complain against non-existent workplace harassment, or something of those kind.
The courts and system has been clogged with 90% of fake and false cases by women, so there is no way any ‘genuine’ woman can get justice, because no one will have any confidence what exactly is a ‘genuine’ woman’s case either. Just plead your case, and wait for few years in the courts, give evidence, and hope for the best.
Babita says
June 8, 2015 at 11:19 pmWhat do u have ti say about this
If a married man is having a having an affair with an unmarried woman or a divorcee or a widow, it shall NOT be treated as adultery under this section. Even if a man is having an affair with a married woman, it shall not be treated to be a crime under this section, if the husband of the woman concerned, consents to it or if the affair is carried out with his connivance. This effectively means that husbands can freely indulge in having extramarital affairs with spinsters, widows, prostitutes or even married women whose husbands have consented to such a relation, directly or indirectly.
videv says
June 9, 2015 at 11:02 pmCrime under 498A: most likely not, unless there was any data that showed most women — whose husbands committed adultery — immediately or as a reason of that, committed suicide.
Ground for divorce: yes
IPC 497: Adultery is a crime only for men. Maybe that’s why Ms Padukone has been raving about #MyChoice.
In any case, how many husbands would be willingly consenting to having their wives indulge in relations with other men?
In Indian laws, a wife can roam around with his boyfriend after leaving husband, and he will still end up paying maintenance to her. Now instead if it’s the husband who has left wife and is roaming around with a girlfriend, he will face DV case from wife and therefore will have to pay maintenance. So one thing is clear, whichever spouse goes with his/her paramour, it’s only the husband who ends up paying maintenance!
rg says
June 6, 2015 at 5:03 pmsir i got married on feb 5th 2014 my husband take dowry 10lakhs before the marrige (8months) after marriage my motherinlaw and sister in laws and her family inlaws also harrasing me i love my husband and trust him but he never support me they harras me mentally and physically and sent me to my parents home and lying that i went out from my husband to parents without reason these ara all repeated only reason i bare for my husband he blackmail me emotionally pls adjust like that one day all sister and husband and their inlaws came to my husbands house and beat me siverely and try to murder i just saved by went to bathroom and cal to my parents tthey came there but these cruel people slap my father with chappal and my hubby then blackmail me go from there if u didnt i will die then i came to parents then dialy i sent msgs calls to hubby no responce oneday sent a mail to leave everything and come said that my people are as usual i afraid but wait for hubby i went to community heads and ask help they call them but husbands family didnot came he sent lawyer notice but we said we are solving by community heads they suddenly he sent a divorce notice that i am not with him last one year that is false what to do i have all proof of physical harrasment and mails audio records dowry bank statements etc within one year they show me lot of harrasments motherinlaw said that she didnt like me and gave one year time to her son to our marrital relation they throw me without chappals my things gold documents clothes all are there from dec 2014 divorce hereing is on 22nd june what to do i want my marital life with hubby iam unemployed i didnot know even his salary whereabouts just because of elder relative blindly give them 10lakhs me and my parents are cheated by elders they are supporting my inlaws my sisinlaw slapped me and beat me with legs in my husband house came from her inlaws house early in the morning with husband,fatherinlaw both men are lawyer and expolice even 6months are went i just wait because elders will solve and my husband realize but no use what to do? my father had another daughter and son already spent 10lakhs and till marriage all expenses given by my father my husband didnot spent a bindi sticker but in petition he said i harras him to fullfill my desires
videv says
June 6, 2015 at 7:26 pmIf you have all that evidence, surely you can get the reliefs. After all, “all the laws are made for women”, is the commonly heard phrase, and men are running totally scared these days.
rg says
June 6, 2015 at 11:33 pmthen i will put dv case on whom before divorce case hearing how much money for this
rg says
June 6, 2015 at 11:41 pmi dont want divorce i want my life with him if he can realize or not i have confidence that i can change him i dont want to divide him with her mother but all are divide me and him
videv says
June 7, 2015 at 9:07 pmAt the end of every DV or divorce case, it’s the lawyers who definitely make some money, so that comes from everyone else’s pocket. It’s short-sighted thinking that the money will always come from the husband’s pocket.
Anyway, we are not here to advice women on how to get money from husbands. There are enough women empowerment wallahs who can be reached for that purpose.
rg says
June 7, 2015 at 9:36 pmis it right decission to put dv case against divorce case there is way noone can try to reunion us abt how much amount will charge and iam helpless is there any way to take that from husband
videv says
June 9, 2015 at 10:54 pmDV has no relation to divorce, but filing it could increase the probability of separation and eventual divorce a lot.
At least able-bodied women without young children to manage should go the real women empowerment route and get a paid job. A man is always considered able-bodied to pay maintenance, but somehow the women are always helpless no matter if they are graduate and even worked earlier!
Kamal says
June 6, 2015 at 4:06 pmI read both the blogs you have put in for both the men and the women. May I just know where do those well educated, qualified, madly in love women go who married the man thwy once fell in love with only to be wronged by them. They were thrown out of their house by their husband and had no other way but to come back to their parent’s house. So psychologically appalled that they went underground, hiding their faces from society and cursing their own birth for bringing disregard to their parents. And then after some time has passed and no one from husband’s side come forward to even ask about what wrong happened. When the girl eventually decides to file for divorce and then reveal everything about her marital problems to her parents, who in turn decide to filed for DV as well as maintainance because, at the time of marriage they succumbed to the cash demands by the groom’s side and the burn mark on their daughter’s body along with cruelity done to her behind the closed door of America.
But the woman does not have any proof to prove to the deciding authorities about except a burn mark on her body. Where does that women go?
Interestingly, everyone advises that woman to compromise, reach a settlement and let go of the marriage because indian judiciary will decide the case at the cost of woman’s life.
But the woman has nothing in her hand now. A long distance relationship of 8 years converted into marriage gone kaput, loans on her parent’s head, a burn mark, societal torture, people asking various questions, tired working but rejected by two organisations on how a woman who is not morally right (left by her husband) can teach students, no confidence left to face the world but slowly coming together, studying again to start manage a cprporate careen in few years where getting divorced wont be a blot on her character certificate (again being a budern on her family),
whereas
the husband is a weed consumer, earning huge amount in USA, drugs impacted his testosterone level which did not make let the marriage be consummated until one day when he decided he wanted to show his manhood to his wife (forced and non consensual) and decides to throw his wife out of her house every few days under the drug n alcohol effect and later be sorry for his act until one day when he demands a divorce and calls the wife’s parents to call their daughter back to India for she is not a good wife.
Ultimately the girl has to tell the reality of their marriage to the parents who call their daughter back home to know the reality and she is never sent back when they got to know of all the truth in some time.
What do you suggest those women? What do these women do? The husband does not even come for CAW cell reconciliation, the inlaws who appear have offered divorce with streedhan returned. What about the false allegations they have said against the girl> What about the rerst of the money and assets that were given to then during the wedding on their demands? They have blatantly refused to give it back as it is not a part of her streedhan. Is is so easy for men to throw their wives out of their house, revel in drugs, alcohol, earn in dollars and just tell the police…ji hum settlement ke liye rrady hain, ladka India nahin aayega, ladki walon se bolo ki apna samaan vaapis lelein.
And now the police is not ready to file an FIR. And they have instead file a case stating falsehood in the girl’s complaint.
I request the writer of this blog to throw some light on this case and tell his or her view on to where do such women go? The girl does not have any proof because it all happened in USA and she was too much in love to have complained against him there which in turn would have impacted the man’s visa status.
All she wanted was some respect and love and being taken care of until she adapts to the new environment. What she got in return was a drug abusing, sexually incompetent, alcoholic and miser husband who would beat up his wife to prove his manhood and threw her out once he realised she was of no use to him and he could get anyone as soon as his green card is furnished.
Where do such women go sir? I would really like a blatant answer. Its not a sob story. Its a check for a heart broken lady who was cheated and then left in lurch to fend for herself by a man who promised the world to her and he himself looted her world.
videv says
June 6, 2015 at 7:59 pmThis is not exactly a relationship advice blog, but if a woman wrongly judges a man’s character even after 8 long years of relationship (whether long distance or not), then marries her, why blame only the man? Like she couldn’t figure our his drug/alcohol and other issues in 8 long years??
Regarding CAW cell etc, don’t even get me started here: women routinely go there with crocodile tears and all the drama is done to pressurize the husband and his family to agree to woman and in-laws demands: be it divorce / ‘settlement’ etc.
>>And now the police is not ready to file an FIR. And they have instead file a case stating falsehood in the girl’s complaint.
So when the things go as per a woman’s complaint, then the husband must be blamed for that? That must be the logic now. Are you unaware of the Rohtak sisters story? the two ‘bravehearts’ are continuing their bravery even now with blatant misuse of women protection laws. Surely going by their case there is no evidence that women are being persecuted by police or authorities in India, in fact they almost won a bravery award until their previous incidents came to light which showed their real character. On the other hand, the innocent boys are having to face a court trial, because with all the evidence against the two sisters, the System will drag the cases till the boys give up and agree to some kind of ‘settlement’ etc, another innovation which have evolved in criminal jurisprudence in India when a woman files case on a man.
Kamal says
June 7, 2015 at 2:10 amno the police has not filed any case. But the boy’s side has.
Its not about relationship hazards or wrong judgements. It is about, there are women who are suffering. there are those woman who need justice. There are woman who are sitting and waiting for her husband to at least grant her a divorce with at least major assets returned. It is about in laws who say, “ladki hai..kahan jayegi..kya kar legi..”
videv says
June 7, 2015 at 9:11 pmI can’t comment on in-laws attitude. If you can prove cruelty with real evidence, you can definitely get divorce. The situation is no different from a husband who files divorce on cruelty, but runs around for many years, may not get it either even after all that; AND has to pay interim and other maintenance even if it was wife who left him after staying only for 2 days. It doesn’t even matter if she starts living with a boyfriend, he still has to pay maintenance.
People are getting tired of the continuous women’s sob stories where they always say that “we women have been victims always…”
Jyotsna says
April 8, 2015 at 5:43 amso my comments have again been deleted! Sweet! 😉
videv says
April 8, 2015 at 8:44 pmLike I am under any obligation to approve irrelevant comments!
Why don’t you start your own blog, write your proposal to revolutionize Indian family structures, spread it on social media, and hopefully you can get the attention you think it deserves.
Tanmay says
September 14, 2015 at 1:39 amMuch Appreciated Comment…!!!!
Ratan Kumar says
February 26, 2015 at 5:48 amUnfortunately, there is epidemic of false IPC 498A, Domestic Violence cases in Indian society. There are over 150,000 false IPC 498A cases. Even these feminist judges who usually are very eager to believe whatever woman says, are now getting fed up of these liar women. Unscrupulous women are using these laws to settle personal scores and take revenge on innocent husband and in-laws. Tragic state of affairs of Indian society.
Ratan Kumar says
February 26, 2015 at 5:26 amFor feminists women, IPC498 or Domestic Violence act or irbm, is their version of “get rich quickly” scheme. These women look at divorce as their lottery ticket. Ever since these women saw in the TV serial 20 lakh divorce settlement, since then they are salivating at their opportunity to do the same. Shame on these women.
Jyotsna says
December 23, 2014 at 10:02 pmHi,
I am a law student and came across this blog while researching for a project & while I want to make it clear that I certainly do not support filing false 498A cases, I have a few issues with what you wrote, right from your first point.
Q I want him to stay away from his parents and take a separate house, but he will not listen.
A: Maybe you do not realize that we are not living in a western country, where it is normal for individuals to live their own lives, and parents to live separately from children. Be sure that this is the same result you want from your brothers, i.e., they too should abandon parents or their wives should file 498a on them and surprise!!!, you may also get included as an accused, being relative of a husband. Or you firmly believe that when your children grow up, they are also entitled to ask you and your husband to move out since you are such a drag on their lives. Children learn from parents — what goes around, comes around.
1)Maybe you do not realize that we are not living in a western country, where it is normal for individuals to live their own lives, and parents to live separately from children.
I do realize that.But maybe YOU do not realize that living away from parents, for both sons & daughters isn’t a Western idea at all, its practiced by many Asian societies & has been historically practiced by many Asian societies.
And surprise, those societies have fared MUCH better in terms of gender equality & haven’t had the need to institute any anti dowry laws, prohibition of sex selective abortions laws or 498A simply because such abuses didn’t happen in those societies, so there didn’t arise any need for any such laws.
videv says
December 26, 2014 at 6:32 pmBeing a law student, maybe you could have done some homework to check the objectives and reasons for passing IPC 498a in 1983.
The objective was to prevent a married woman’s suicide because of such cruelty inflicted on her by husband/in-laws that will drive her to suicide. Dowry harassment is a common misnomer for 498a because at the time the law was passed, it was considered that demands of dowry were one of the main type of cruelty and cause which drove some women to suicide. The objective was to prevent such suicides.
498a was not passed to improve sex ratio of females vs males in society, it was not passed to stop sex selective abortions, it is not exactly an anti dowry law because Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 was already in place for 22 years when IPC 498a was passed. It can only be termed as anti-cruelty law to protect married women. 498a was not passed to improve India’s score on any gender equality measures either. It’s a criminal law with a specific purpose, and none of the objectives you have mentioned are the goals of this law.
498a was not supposed to be used a negotiation tool within marriage by women. Unfortunately, not only law students but even SC justices seem to think that it can be used as a negotiation tool. Case in point being of ex SC justice A K Ganguly who openly talked about ‘use’ of 498a for creating a negotiation space and calling those who oppose 498a as male chauvinists. Refer my old post below:
http://menrightsindia.net/2011/02/learn-how-to-use-ipc-sections-498a-307.html
Well Justice Ganguly learnt the hard way the problems of using laws for negotiation when he faced sexual harassment complaint from a law intern 1 year after the alleged incident. He was much maligned by politicians and had to resign from SHRC commission, and as expected (by MRAs) the law intern didn’t turn up to give evidence! Being a male feminist didn’t really help him, did it?. Hoisted by your own petard, might we say!
What goes around, comes around…
Ratan Kumar says
February 26, 2015 at 5:31 amwell said Videv.
cobains concoction says
June 11, 2016 at 12:23 amVidev brother,
Bombastically beautiful ideology you framed out in here. You indeed are an invinsible hero for we victims of gender biased laws, and we learn to be rational reading your boosting blog. It feels i’ll get the justice one day.MAY GOD BLESS YOU with everything you wish.. Amen
Suffering Husband says
September 24, 2014 at 2:14 pmFemale after filing false 498A and not living with me since 8 months all of sudden started entering my work premises and threatening to commit sucide. She is a physco by character and a pathological liar. First She file false case and then ran to her parents home. Now because of her character even all her relatives, parents and brothers and ssters are least bothered about her because she lied them and made them file wrong things in CS. Please comment on how i can prevent this vendictive, physco, pathological liar from entering my work premises…
videv says
September 24, 2014 at 3:24 pm>> Please comment on how i can prevent this vendictive, physco, pathological liar from entering my work premises…
Let’s see various solutions:
1. Hire a bodyguard: Bodyguard faces false cases of IPC 354 and what else from the vindictive, pathological liar etc etc 🙂
2. Handover a photo of her to your company security and ask them not to allow this person entry into premises. If they do allow, they will be solely responsible for any damage and destruction caused by her over there. Inform HR/manager.
3. Quit job. I am only mentioning it because surprisingly some men think of such ideas as ‘solutions’ 🙂
4. Report to police. Why not? Esp if you have some video recording. Ask security to get CCTV footage etc.
What else?
Anonymous says
May 28, 2013 at 7:19 amso many devils who r filing for 498a – isn’t it?..while so many of you are just seeing one side – this is a totally biased article that assumes ALL women are lying and let me tell u genuine women who file DV are also suffering and curse the law – they just end up running pillar to post.
The widow case – has anyone even bothered to ask for her story.? Do you know where was society 11 years ago. Maybe just maybe she did undergo DV for many years at the hands of her husband and in-laws. However, she had no support then. But her life turned – her hubby died – and she got remarried. But she did undergo torture – today she has support – but u name it revenge and not her want to bring the guilty to book – can u forget years of torture inflicted on u just because u have a better life now. Is it a sin – I am just saying this is a possibility but passing judgement without even asking is so wrong.
Just because u have been wronged doesn’t mean everyone is wrong.
videv says
April 4, 2014 at 11:58 amThe advice is especially important for such women who don’t apply simple common sense that every case to be filed has a time limitation under law. Which means don’t start filing DV case 5 years or 15 years after the event suddenly because you realized that this law can make you rich very quickly.
Being a woman used to get sympathy automatically, but women who support such case filing after 15 years are doing disservice to all the women, which goes by the name ‘genuine’ victim which is laughable because we don’t see any ‘genuine’ domestic violence victims in courts these days. I myself saw a hale and hearty woman sitting next to me in family court, texting on her mobile that I have filed a xyz case here, now I am going to another court to file the DV case. Well, you can file all the cases you want as simply as ordering a pizza, but with men’s rights activists helping your husbands, the pizza delivery may not happen at all 🙂 And you may lose your career and years of life waiting for that lottery windfall that never materialized.
PREM says
April 5, 2014 at 9:12 pmGOOD BY READING UR COMMENT I CAME TO KNOW AT LEAST U MET A GENUINE LADY WHO REALLY SUFFERED…… BUT JUST TELL ME ONE THING BECAUSE OF WHOM THE REAL VICTIM IS NOT GETTING HER JUSTICE ….. NOT BECAUSE OF MEN… JUST BECAUSE OF HER OWN KIND HAVING HEART AND BRAIN…… SERIOUSLY….. ITS ONLY WICKED WOMEN WHO ARE SPOILING THE LIFE OF GENUINE LADIES IN OUR SOCIETY….. BUT THE BAD PART IS THAT THE PERCENTAGE OF WICKEDNESS IS MORE …… WHICH WAS REALLY OPPOSITE MANY YEARS BEFORE ….. SO HAPPY SINGLES …. THIS WILL BE THE FUTURE …. NO ONE WILL DARE MARRYING……
Ratan Kumar says
February 26, 2015 at 5:39 amTo Anonymous:
Aren’t you doing exactly the same that you are accusing others. In your comment, you are concluding without any evidence that this woman was treated badly by her in-laws in her previous marriage. How do you know she was really treated badly? Why do you assume that – just because she is woman?
amit says
August 3, 2012 at 6:18 amVery true but if only greedy and selfish daughter in laws and her greedy parents understand this. Law is so blind towards men and in laws that anyone can scare husbands and extract all the money they earn. This is immoral.
Prabal says
July 5, 2011 at 7:46 pmgood one. Really liked that
Proud to be a MAN says
December 22, 2010 at 11:01 amYou too have turned to advising women?
However, the public notice is worth the salt of the girl therein. :-))
Katyayani says
December 10, 2010 at 1:44 pmExcellent ! ..very informative.
Lends the right perspective.
Darshan L M says
December 8, 2016 at 1:05 pmHello ,
This is Darshan , I got married in 2012 due to lot disturbance from their parents i applied for Divorce in 2013. She came for mutual consent after a 1 month she with draws MC and files a FALSE 498 & many sections demanding 25lac through her lawyer.
1. Luckily i got divorce in 18/11/2016 saying petition(Myself) is allowed to take divorce with cost.
2. My Question: The false dowry case is still running… whether tat judgement copy is helpful to break the false case on me and my family
plz help me…
videv says
December 9, 2016 at 11:16 amDivorce case judgment copy won’t help in 498A case but points from that case may be used during cross-examination of wife in 498A. This is something only a good lawyer can say after reading both case details.
>>1. Luckily i got divorce in 18/11/2016 saying petition(Myself) is allowed to take divorce with cost.
If by cost it means you paid alimony, then forget using divorce case in 498A, since it’s more a case of buying divorce than winning it by proving cruelty.